Warning: may contain spoilers and is not very kind to Bette Midler
As a frequent film goer I have what you may call a virus or a disease. It is not necessarily a bad one but it is one that definelty controls me in some way. My disease is what is known as havetoseeeverymoviethatcomesoutinthetheaters. I've had it since I was about 18. I couldn't help it. There is nothing better that to sit in a cool theater on a warm summers day or in a warm theater on a cold winters day ( more the norm here in Southern Ontario ) and kick back with M&M's and a Diet Coke and watch the latest instalment of trash that Hollywood unleashes on us. Because let's face it, for every Indiana Jones film there is a film like Double Jeopardy. For every film like Saving Private Ryan or JFK or American Beauty there is a film like Magnolia and Play It To The Bone. This is the kind of film that, as a seasoned film goer, I saw the preview for it in the theater and I groaned silently because I knew there really wasn't much they could with it. They showed two actors that are great to watch as part of an ensemble cast but way too average to open a film on the strength of their names alone. They told us that it was directed by the same guy that did Bull Durham and Hollywood has been using that fact to sell Ron Shelton films ever since even though he hasn't done anything good or box office noteworthy since. They tell us that there is supposed to be some humour by showing us Tom Sizemore as a sleazy promoter doing his sleazy promoter thing and they show us that there may be some sex and some sort of love story because they have a slutty sounding Lucy Lui and a tough as nails sounding Lolita Dovidovich. And then they have a promised boxing match and a drive across America to get there. And that is what we, the public are left with. Is it any surprise that this film is going to the same kind of business as Silent Night Deadly Night part 7 would if it was released at the theater? There is no intrigue and nothing that you can really sink your teeth into to make you want to run out and see the film. People like me don't really count seeing as we have that terrible disease I was telling you about. The only actors that can cure this disease is Bette Midler and ocassionally Woody Allen but then there is even times when he is powerless against it, but not Midler. She is like Tylenol to a headache, she will stop havetoseeeverymoviethatcomesoutatthetheater syndrome every time.
Play It To The Bone is a boring ride with three people where three quarters of the film takes place in a convertable and the three characters are given dialogue about their past, their future, their vices, their lovelives, their fears and, well, you get the picture. There really is only so much you can do with a film like this. Very quickly it becomes lethargic and tedious. I do have to admit that the boxing match was exciting but it was also the same after the second round. Every time someone gets knocked down they are going to get up at nine and then the fight will continue and eventually the non-caring sparse crowd is going to really care for the two combatants in the ring. Can you say Rocky vs. Drago all over again? Folks seriously, Stallone and Scorsese did it better and to try improve or to even emulate what they did is futile. Ron Shelton had one good film and he has been living off that reputation ever since. I have said it before and I'll say it again..... if you can make one good film in Hollywood then you have a grace period of usually five years, in Shelton's case it has lasted about a decade. This film is boring, pretenscious and tiresome. Unless you have this terrible disease that I suffer with, then my advise to you is to stay away. Or look for the next Bette Midler film.
3 out of 10
As a frequent film goer I have what you may call a virus or a disease. It is not necessarily a bad one but it is one that definelty controls me in some way. My disease is what is known as havetoseeeverymoviethatcomesoutinthetheaters. I've had it since I was about 18. I couldn't help it. There is nothing better that to sit in a cool theater on a warm summers day or in a warm theater on a cold winters day ( more the norm here in Southern Ontario ) and kick back with M&M's and a Diet Coke and watch the latest instalment of trash that Hollywood unleashes on us. Because let's face it, for every Indiana Jones film there is a film like Double Jeopardy. For every film like Saving Private Ryan or JFK or American Beauty there is a film like Magnolia and Play It To The Bone. This is the kind of film that, as a seasoned film goer, I saw the preview for it in the theater and I groaned silently because I knew there really wasn't much they could with it. They showed two actors that are great to watch as part of an ensemble cast but way too average to open a film on the strength of their names alone. They told us that it was directed by the same guy that did Bull Durham and Hollywood has been using that fact to sell Ron Shelton films ever since even though he hasn't done anything good or box office noteworthy since. They tell us that there is supposed to be some humour by showing us Tom Sizemore as a sleazy promoter doing his sleazy promoter thing and they show us that there may be some sex and some sort of love story because they have a slutty sounding Lucy Lui and a tough as nails sounding Lolita Dovidovich. And then they have a promised boxing match and a drive across America to get there. And that is what we, the public are left with. Is it any surprise that this film is going to the same kind of business as Silent Night Deadly Night part 7 would if it was released at the theater? There is no intrigue and nothing that you can really sink your teeth into to make you want to run out and see the film. People like me don't really count seeing as we have that terrible disease I was telling you about. The only actors that can cure this disease is Bette Midler and ocassionally Woody Allen but then there is even times when he is powerless against it, but not Midler. She is like Tylenol to a headache, she will stop havetoseeeverymoviethatcomesoutatthetheater syndrome every time.
Play It To The Bone is a boring ride with three people where three quarters of the film takes place in a convertable and the three characters are given dialogue about their past, their future, their vices, their lovelives, their fears and, well, you get the picture. There really is only so much you can do with a film like this. Very quickly it becomes lethargic and tedious. I do have to admit that the boxing match was exciting but it was also the same after the second round. Every time someone gets knocked down they are going to get up at nine and then the fight will continue and eventually the non-caring sparse crowd is going to really care for the two combatants in the ring. Can you say Rocky vs. Drago all over again? Folks seriously, Stallone and Scorsese did it better and to try improve or to even emulate what they did is futile. Ron Shelton had one good film and he has been living off that reputation ever since. I have said it before and I'll say it again..... if you can make one good film in Hollywood then you have a grace period of usually five years, in Shelton's case it has lasted about a decade. This film is boring, pretenscious and tiresome. Unless you have this terrible disease that I suffer with, then my advise to you is to stay away. Or look for the next Bette Midler film.
3 out of 10