The Landlady (1998)
1/10
It's no Rocky V
24 April 2002
In this depressing slasher movie `from the producer of WISHMASTER and THE DENTIST' (how could that ad copy fail to bring in viewers?) , two-time Academy Award ® nominee Talia Shire plays Melanie Leroy, a bitter, unlikable harridan who sniffs other people's laundry and decides to go on a half-ass killing spree after inheriting her dead Aunt's apartment building. Shire spends the whole movie ranting to her dead husband's ashes and obsessing over her nice-enough social worker tenant (Jack Coleman from the NIGHTMARE CAFÉ T.V. show), spying on him with 2 way mirrors and video cameras, and eventually tying him to the bed in scenes that are like a fourth grade class production of MISERY. While this unbearable flick rolls on Melanie offs people with a refrigerator door, an enormous candle stick, a butcher knife, a steamer trunk, a gun, sleeping pills, a dry cleaning bag, and, scariest of all, shellfish. Yes, apparently feeding someone shellfish when they're allergic is sca-a-ary! Move over, Jason Vorhees!

Where was I? This movie. I tried to think of some ways to make it better, but all I came up with was to give two-time Academy Award ® nominee Talia Shire a Muppet © sidekick that only she can see and who can grant wishes. Sorry.
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