nunculus Review of Resident Evil

Resident Evil (2002)

Milla Jovovovovovich's thunder thighs as sign of genre decay

[28 March 2002]

They are rather blockish--though not so noisome, in one's attempt

to sop up Lara Croftian porno/violent kicks, as the perpetual On

Our Backs-covergirl lip-sneer of Michelle Rodriguez, who peaked

with the poster for GIRLFIGHT and has not changed a whit since.

Video games traffic in magics of geography. Movies shpritz

together an alchemy of character, story, and "the privileged

moment." They are generally not about going from room to room to

room to room (and when they are, the results are as bad as FOUR

ROOMS or RUN LOLA RUN).

This one starts out as a creepy anti-corporate number (quick

studies of CAPRICORN ONE and THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR are evident) and then turns into some zany, Fulci-as-Xbox high

gore style as characters are literally made into mincemeat with

lasers and attacked by (why didn't anyone else think of this?)

zombie dogs.

Then it just gets dumb, dumber, dumbest; the movie has the

distinction of featuring the worst zombie performances in any

movie ever. The bug-eyed Italians in CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD

are Burt Lancaster in THE LEOPARD by way of contrast.