Married... with Children (1987–1997)
Mankind's Finest Achievement
14 May 2003
"Married...with Children" is the greatest show of all-time. No family before, during or after the Bundys will ever compare to America's first family. The Huxtables? Don't make me laugh. The Simpsons? Get a life. The Osbournes? Are you retarded, because if you like "The Osbournes," I think that you are.

Al (Ed O'Neill), Peg (Katey Sagal), Kelly (Christina Applegate), Bud (David Faustino) and Buck form the only television family that matters. Extra kudos to neighbors Steve (David Garrison), Marcy (Amanda Bearse) and the damn funny Jefferson D'Arcy (Ted McGinley) for helping expose the Bundys for who they really were: every American family. The were dysfunctional and absolutely hated one another, but they were as close as any family could be and when it came down to it, they were there for each other.

The introduction of No Ma'am, the National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood, only added to the insanity. Bob Rooney (E.E. Bell), Ike (Tom McCleister) and the incomparable Griff (Harold Sylvester) were excellent additions to an already perfect show.

"Married...with Children" obviously influenced a generation of awful rip-offs such as "Malcolm in the Middle," "Grounded for Life," "Roseanne," "Home Improvement" and so on and so forth, but no one can deny it as man's greatest achievement. Many sitcoms come close, shows such as "The Kids in the Hall," "MADtv," "Cheers," "Diff'rent Strokes," "Seinfeld," "King of the Hill," "The Wonder Years," "The Larry Sanders Show," "The Adventures of Pete & Pete," "South Park," "Maury" (yes, I mean the talk show) and "ALF," but in the end, the all pale in comparison.

It is doubtful that all eleven season of the hit series will be released on DVD, but "The Most Outrageous Episodes Volumes 1 & 2" are already available. They contain classics such as "No Chicken, No Check," "I'll See You in Court," "Raingirl" and "If Al Had a Hammer," which is my personal favorite.

To quote Eric Cartman, "'Married...with Children' kicks @$$!"

**** out of ****
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