Attack of the Eye Creatures (1967 TV Movie)
No. Just...plain...no.
20 May 2000
One of those flicks which play out like some grim, awful train wreck you just can't take your eyes from. Unfortunately, in the case of EYE CREATURES, it's the train wreck from GIANT GILA MONSTER, where you can clearly see the name Lionel printed on the side of one of the cars.

In the 1960s, American-International decided to get in on the television releasing business as had Screen Gems and other branches of the major studios. Studios like Universal-International were making fresh revenue on older titles by making them available for television screenings, so this seemed like a good idea. Well, at the time...

Unfortunately, color films were becoming increasingly popular and AIP's stable, generally made on a budget, were largely black-and-white.

"Inspired," Arkoff and Nicholson contracted with Texas producer Larry Buchannan to make remakes of some of their sci-fi films. Among the films to be refilmed were SHE CREATURE, VOODOO WOMAN, IT CONQUERED THE WORLD and INVASION OF THE SAUCERMEN. Buchannan also included a couple of original films in the package.

The results were uniformly awful. THE EYE CREATURES fights grimly to be the worst of the lot. There is sooo much to pick to pieces on this film.

Day-to-night filming is dreary, and in the middle of the most "tense" night shots, you can clearly see deep shadows and stray sunbeams akimbo. Buchannan's creatures also evidently cost more than he could justify to make (even though a still clearly shows the material on the feet is simply folded over and stapled underneath the soles). In several scenes, extras wearing black leotards and only the bulky, googly heads plod along with fully costumed aliens.

As for the aliens' ship (a high point of the original SAUCERMEN)? The new face of Terror From Beyond comes in a hubcap draped with Christmas lights and the top of a can of Krylon spray paint as a topper. Run, foolish Earthlings! Run and hide before it's too late!

Then there is the acting -- a heady blend of astonishingly banal "comedy" and theatrics you'd expect in a grade school play. AIP made several attempts at turning John Ashley into the new Fabian (he does a musical number in HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER), but he didn't click, and later went to the Philippines to produce movies there.

Particularly frightening are the stolid minions of the Air Force, who literally combat the eye being by sitting at a monitor screen, spying on necking teens and making smarmy comment. Evidently relying on a largely local cast, Buchannan dredges up the most uniformly repulsive cast imaginable. Only the female lead emerges with a shred of decency.

No contempt was spared in the making of this film. Or in the preparation of fresh prints for later TV release. EYE CREATURES was one of a number of films picked up by Wade Williams, and I assume it was during this transition that the new title, "Attack of The The Eye Creatures" stuttered into being. That pretty much says it for the entire film.
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