in the version i saw, ali baba and the seven saracens, the actors did not so much "act" as they walked around and shouted lines in the ear of the person standing next to them --- lines such as "swine dog, if i ever see your face again i will kill you. now go away and fetch me my dinner" and "no, really, nothing is wrong. AAAAA!!! AAAA!!! no, its nothing. AAAA!!! AAA!!! AAA!!! i tell you its nothing. AAAA!!!"
however it may not be the fault of the actors, considering the english dubbing is worse than any japanese horror flick.
ali baba falls in love with a girl who saves his life. he soon gets captured (read: gets knocked out by getting hit in the head by a pole) which stalls his chances to overthrow omar, a clint eastwood type who broods a lot, yells a lot, and likes to walk around topless. off the the dungeon goes ali baba.
meanwhile omar discovers that in order to become accepted by the magi and become faja (your guess is as good as mine) he must fight the saracens when "the moon blocks the light of the sun."
before i continue i must mention the orchestration which seems to go by the rule "fill any silence with a horn and a cymbal" and on occasion you can actually hear the dialogue clearly.
okay. while fatima, the girl ali baba loves, is taken to a dungeon over-seen by a shawl-encrusted nymph with a whip, ali baba befriends a midget who is impressed by ali's manliness. the midget, named "jookie", crawls through the air vents (!!!) and comes upon the dungeon where fatima is. he interrupts their conversation about eunichs (!!!) to tell them of an escape plan at midnight and by "midnight" he means "noon" since all the action takes place during the day. then comes the escape which leaves poor jookie tear-ridden.
there is a swordfight. fatima leads ali baba behind a decorative pillar and kisses him. omar emerges and smacks a few people around while flashing his nipples at the camera. wow. this is in the first 45 minutes!
as for rating the film i must say i was entertained quite a bit by the lack of talent all around. the ms3k value is high so watching with a group of people with that in mind might be a good idea.
however it may not be the fault of the actors, considering the english dubbing is worse than any japanese horror flick.
ali baba falls in love with a girl who saves his life. he soon gets captured (read: gets knocked out by getting hit in the head by a pole) which stalls his chances to overthrow omar, a clint eastwood type who broods a lot, yells a lot, and likes to walk around topless. off the the dungeon goes ali baba.
meanwhile omar discovers that in order to become accepted by the magi and become faja (your guess is as good as mine) he must fight the saracens when "the moon blocks the light of the sun."
before i continue i must mention the orchestration which seems to go by the rule "fill any silence with a horn and a cymbal" and on occasion you can actually hear the dialogue clearly.
okay. while fatima, the girl ali baba loves, is taken to a dungeon over-seen by a shawl-encrusted nymph with a whip, ali baba befriends a midget who is impressed by ali's manliness. the midget, named "jookie", crawls through the air vents (!!!) and comes upon the dungeon where fatima is. he interrupts their conversation about eunichs (!!!) to tell them of an escape plan at midnight and by "midnight" he means "noon" since all the action takes place during the day. then comes the escape which leaves poor jookie tear-ridden.
there is a swordfight. fatima leads ali baba behind a decorative pillar and kisses him. omar emerges and smacks a few people around while flashing his nipples at the camera. wow. this is in the first 45 minutes!
as for rating the film i must say i was entertained quite a bit by the lack of talent all around. the ms3k value is high so watching with a group of people with that in mind might be a good idea.