Pain

by EqualsNein | created - 14 Apr 2022 | updated - 2 months ago | Public

A compilation of my least favorite films.

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1. The Adventures of Panda Warrior (2012)

PG | 78 min | Animation, Action, Adventure

A peace-loving soldier is transported to another world and turned into a panda. To get home, he must join forces with a flying pig to free the once-peaceful land from tyranny.

Director: Kwok-Shing Lo | Stars: Rob Schneider, Haylie Duff, Norm MacDonald, Lauren Elizabeth

Votes: 304

This is the only movie - I repeat, the ONLY movie - that I not only couldn't finish, but refuse to finish. It's that agonizing an experience.

2. Agent F.O.X. (2014)

G | 83 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

Super spy Agent F.O.X. arrives in Carrot Town with one objective: infiltrate the community of friendly rabbits and locate a mysterious artifact. But the mission goes awry when the secret agent is mistaken for a distant cousin.

Director: Ge Shuiying | Stars: Shiyu Qiao, Xiaoming Xuan, Hao Chen, Yaohan Zhang

Votes: 286

HOLY FUCK is this premise absurd; the morbid character designs, lazy animation, and "twist" ending all make it that much worse.

3. Battlefield Earth (2000)

PG-13 | 117 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

9 Metascore

It's the year 3000 A.D., and the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, who are unaware that their 'man-animals' are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.

Director: Roger Christian | Stars: John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Barry Pepper, Kim Coates

Votes: 83,121 | Gross: $21.47M

Why, John Travolta? Why piss away your respectability in the name of your B-movie mythology?

4. The Last Airbender (2010)

PG | 103 min | Action, Adventure, Family

20 Metascore

Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, must master all four elements and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom.

Director: M. Night Shyamalan | Stars: Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz Beckham, Jackson Rathbone, Dev Patel

Votes: 174,956 | Gross: $131.56M

5. Jupiter Ascending (2015)

PG-13 | 127 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

40 Metascore

A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.

Directors: Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski | Stars: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean

Votes: 194,596 | Gross: $47.39M

6. Battleship (2012)

PG-13 | 131 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

41 Metascore

A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.

Director: Peter Berg | Stars: Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson, Rihanna

Votes: 257,435 | Gross: $65.42M

7. Delhi Safari (2012)

PG | 96 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

37 Metascore

A group of animals plan a trip to Delhi in order to ask the parliament why the forest they live in is on the verge of destruction.

Director: Nikkhil Advani | Stars: Govinda, Akshaye Khanna, Urmila Matondkar, Boman Irani

Votes: 1,956

PETA's endorsement alone should have you running for the trees.

8. Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

PG-13 | 154 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

27 Metascore

A deadly threat from Earth's history reappears and a hunt for a lost artifact takes place between Autobots and Decepticons, while Optimus Prime encounters his creator in space.

Director: Michael Bay | Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock

Votes: 168,945 | Gross: $130.17M

9. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)

G | 87 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family

24 Metascore

Playing around while aboard a cruise ship, the Chipmunks and Chipettes accidentally go overboard and end up marooned in a tropical paradise. They discover their new turf is not as deserted as it seems.

Director: Mike Mitchell | Stars: Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jesse McCartney, Jason Lee

Votes: 39,610 | Gross: $133.11M

10. The Emoji Movie (2017)

PG | 86 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

12 Metascore

Gene, a multi-expressional emoji, sets out on a journey to become a normal emoji.

Director: Tony Leondis | Stars: T.J. Miller, James Corden, Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph

Votes: 71,123 | Gross: $86.09M

11. Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011)

PG | 89 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

37 Metascore

A retired spy is called back into action, and to bond with her new step-children, she invites them along for the adventure to stop the evil Timekeeper from taking over the world.

Director: Robert Rodriguez | Stars: Jessica Alba, Jeremy Piven, Joel McHale, Rowan Blanchard

Votes: 28,422 | Gross: $38.54M

12. The Nut Job (I) (2014)

PG | 85 min | Animation, Adventure, Comedy

37 Metascore

An incorrigibly self-serving exiled squirrel finds himself helping his former park brethren survive by raiding a nut store, a location that also happens to be a front for a human gang's bank robbery.

Director: Peter Lepeniotis | Stars: Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl

Votes: 30,247 | Gross: $64.25M

13. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

PG-13 | 95 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

11 Metascore

A group of martial-arts warriors has only six days to save the Earth from an extra-dimensional invasion.

Director: John R. Leonetti | Stars: Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, James Remar, Sandra Hess

Votes: 58,149 | Gross: $35.93M

14. Amazon Jack (2007)

72 min | Animation, Comedy, Family

The world's rarest and cutest creature, Amazon Jack, lives on a peaceful island. When a greedy millionaire puts out a reward to find him, Jack must leave his home, evade capture, and outwit the tycoon before he ends up in a zoo!

Directors: Jørgen Lerdam, Flemming Quist Møller, Anders Sørensen | Stars: Jesper Klein, Kaya Brüel, Claus Ryskjær, Ole Fick

Votes: 304

The solitary reason this film doesn’t have one star is the stoner butterfly. See for yourself - if you're willing to suffer through the rest of the film, that is.

15. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

PG-13 | 151 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

44 Metascore

Batman is manipulated by Lex Luthor to fear Superman. Superman´s existence is meanwhile dividing the world and he is framed for murder during an international crisis. The heroes clash and force the neutral Wonder Woman to reemerge.

Director: Zack Snyder | Stars: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg

Votes: 752,666 | Gross: $330.36M

16. Baby Geniuses (1999)

PG | 97 min | Comedy, Crime, Family

7 Metascore

Scientists hold super intelligent talking babies captive, but things take a turn for the worse when a mix-up occurs between a baby genius and its twin.

Director: Bob Clark | Stars: Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Kim Cattrall, Peter MacNicol

Votes: 27,654 | Gross: $27.14M

17. Batman & Robin (1997)

PG-13 | 125 min | Action, Sci-Fi

29 Metascore

Batman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.

Director: Joel Schumacher | Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman

Votes: 268,215 | Gross: $107.33M

18. Gods of Egypt (2016)

PG-13 | 127 min | Action, Adventure, Drama

25 Metascore

Mortal hero Bek teams with the god Horus in an alliance against Set, the merciless god of darkness, who has usurped Egypt's throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict.

Director: Alex Proyas | Stars: Brenton Thwaites, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Gerard Butler, Chadwick Boseman

Votes: 125,963 | Gross: $31.15M

19. Ratatoing (2007 Video)

Not Rated | 44 min | Animation, Short, Adventure

Marcelle Toing, owner of the best restaurant in Rio de Janeiro, must go on missions to steal ingredients from human restaurants to keep his meals the best.

Director: Michelle Gabriel | Stars: Martin Finger, Douglas Guedes, Anthony Logan Cole, Elisa Vilon

Votes: 2,717

20. Suicide Squad (2016)

PG-13 | 123 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

40 Metascore

A secret government agency recruits some of the most dangerous incarcerated super-villains to form a defensive task force. Their first mission: save the world from the apocalypse.

Director: David Ayer | Stars: Will Smith, Jared Leto, Margot Robbie, Viola Davis

Votes: 722,552 | Gross: $325.10M

21. Jonathan Livingston Seagull (1973)

G | 99 min | Drama, Family

A skilled flyer but very rebellious young seagull is kicked out of his clan. However, instead of being sad or lonely, he decides to enjoy and explore his newfound freedom.

Director: Hall Bartlett | Stars: James Franciscus, Juliet Mills, Philip Ahn, David Ladd

Votes: 2,326 | Gross: $1.60M

The New York Times said it best - this film is strictly for the birds.



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