- Ray: Hey, did you teach your students how to make things like this?
- Mr. Mehlor: Have you been in a high school recently? My students taught ME how to make stuff like this.
- Sheriff: You took the money. Didn't you son?
- Tom: Yeah I hid it in the cemetery.
- Wayne Bryce: Why you do that?
- Tom: I don't like to carry around that much cash, ya know?
- Sheriff: For twenty years, I've been eatin' shit; breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So now I'm changing the menu. From here on, everything I eat is gonna be shit-free.
- Wayne Bryce: Dear Penthouse, I always thought your letters were fake...
- Wayne Bryce: ...until the wildest thing happened to me.