Sir Billi (2012)
1/10
Sir Billi
6 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The great Scottish actor and former James Bond star retired from acting in 2006, three years after his role in the awful film The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but he did return once or twice for voice acting roles. He returned to the role of 007 for the video game From Russia with Love, and his most recent role was in this cartoon, Scotland's first CGI animated feature. Basically, in the west coast highland village of Catterness in Scotland, many animals are being murdered by a team of villainous policemen, including Officer McKenzie (Ford Kiernan) and Officer McTavish (Greg Hemphill). One of the animals to escape captivity is illegal fugitive, Bessie Boo the beaver (Valentina Hartmann), who was raised by rabbits and is now on the run. Meanwhile, Sir Billi (Sir Sean Connery) is the eccentric retired veterinarian of the remote village, respected and adored by the townspeople. He relies on a number of gadgets and his skateboard to get him through the day, as well as his companions, including Gordon (Alan Cumming), a goat who believes he is a dog. When Bessie comes along and asks for Sir Billi's help, he is thrown into an adventure that will take him across treacherous ravines and hazardous waters. Along the way, he encounters many other characters, including American oddball Patty Turner (Ruby Wax), aristocrat Lady Serena Sedgewick (Larry Sullivan), temptress baroness Chantalle McToff (Miriam Margolyes) and her husband Baron McToff (Taggart's Alex Norton), an Admiral (Patrick Doyle) who is afraid of water, and plucky pilot duck Vicky (Regina Reagan). In the end, Sir Billi saves the day and is praised as the "Guardian of the Highlands". Also starring Barbara Rafferty as Bessie's Mom, Elliot Doyle as Master Jake, Jamie Still as Wee Dave the rabbit, Amy Sacco as Toni Turner, Ford Kiernan as Banjo Barry, and John Fortune Fraser as Uncle Red. I question if Connery knew what he was getting into when he provided his voice, along with other talented stars like Cumming and Margoyles? I'm not surprised this has got a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes; it is abysmal. The animation is charmless and awful quality, the script and plot, including animals talking and predictable dialogue, is terrible, the attempts of humour, including James Bond jokes, are unfunny, the Dame Shirley Bassey song accompanying the Bond-style opening sequence, is wasted, and it just feels rather creepy and cringy. This is definitely up there with the worst cartoon movies I have ever watched, a truly atrocious animated adventure. Very poor!
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