I was a huge fan of the original series, and as a proud native Texan, always got goose bumps when the camera scanned Texas Stadium during the opening credits. I also confess to being glued to my television to find out 'Who Shot J.R.?', along with the rest of the human race. Perhaps 16 minutes is not enough time to accurately judge the new "Dallas", but in those few moments we discover Bobby Ewing with fatal colon cancer; J.R. in a nursing home; John Ross discovering a $100 billion oil deposit under South Fork; and Bobby's adopted son discovering a limitless source of alternative fuel. Spliced into this mega-drama are two gorgeous couples, one making out in a swank country club's women's dressing room and the other pair frolicking in an oil well gusher a la some 1940s black and white movie western. When Bobby steadfastly insists on selling the ranch and prohibiting drilling, I grabbed the clicker, unfortunately not before hearing his self-righteous soliloquy about how oil destroyed the Ewing family and the wishes of his dead mother Miss Ellie. Life is far too short for me to waste another 16 minutes to see how this mess developed. I gave "Dallas" two stars only because so many pretty faces deserve more than one.
