Rock-A-Doodle (1991)
2/10
Rock-a-Snoozle
20 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Why do I review (or even watch) Don Bluth films? They're so depressing. I haven't been happy with the man since The Land Before Time (Though I briefly smiled for Anastasia. If only it weren't for that darn Pooka...).

Our story begins in a book on a farm. Right away, The Farm is identified as the perfect place to be, although there's no farmer, no crops, and I don't recall seeing a barn. Everyone on this little farm has a job. Of course, Chantacleer's job (to bring up the sun) is the only job identified; everyone else just lays around or joins in when he randomly belts out a tune.

You can imagine how obnoxious this can be after awhile, what with all this random singing on the farm with no farmer. So obnoxious, the Grand Duke of Owls has decided to kill them. Normally, this would be bad, but after five minutes, it's pretty obvious that they'd probably be better off dead. So he gets Chantacleer kicked off the farm, causing the sun to down, and darkness to fall. Meanwhile, this Duke planning to eat all these 'cute' creatures. For this, he's bad guy? Sounds pretty noble to me.

Meanwhile, in the real world, it's raining. This is somehow connected to Chantacleer leaving in the story, but only Edmond, son of the missing farmer, knows this. Everyone else figures it's just a random flash flood (Oh how foolish. Don't all monsoons have to do with barnyard fowl?). So he goes to the window and starts to scream for Chantacleer at the top of his lungs. Who's the villain now, huh? Anyhow, he hits his head, gets turned into a cat, goes on an adventure in the city, finds the rooster (but not the farmer), and wakes up muttering, "You were there, and you were there, and you were there..."

There are several problems with what I refer to as the Beginning-of-the-End for Bluth. But I beefed an awful lot in my Thumbelina review, so I'll start off with the good: Some of the voices, particularly Eddie Deezen (Who later immortalized Mandark) and Phil Harris (Who deserved a better last bow than this.) are quite good. Unfortuantly, they're undermined by Edmond (More on this later.). Rock-a-Doodle does the thing Thumbelina never did: Make me laugh, and that's why it gets a two instead of a one. One scene. The kitchen with Hans and the Duke, where Uncle Dukie utters the line, "If I kill my nephew, will it be murder or charity?" The pint sized pipsqueak and her prince never even came close.

Now the bad. Edmond is completely unappealing. His speech impediment is merely distracting as first, but by the "We'll all dwown." speech, he's annoying as red ants up the butt. At times, you can't even understand him (I have mixed feelings on that.). Hiring a kid with a speech problem, just for the 'cute factor' is always a bad idea (Do you see Mara Wilson and her lisp on the cover of People? Dakota Fanning, on the other hand, talks clear as a bell, can actually act, and is worth ten times her weight in gold.), unless it makes sense to the script (such as in 'Paulie' where Paulie the Parrot helped the little girl with her stutter.).

Hans the nephew, 'The funny character', isn't. The movie practically forces him on us, and when it becomes obvious he's not working with the script, we are actually reminded that he's supposed to be funny ("He was more a hoot than he was dangerous." or something along those lines.). Never, never, NEVER tell who your funny character is. Let the audience find out for themselves. Or better yet, don't have a specific 'funny' man, but let everyone be humorous on their own in different ways (Such as Monsters Inc.).

I guess the worse part is, we don't care. If I don't care about at least one main character, or a character's motivations, or even what's going to happen to that character, then the movie's failed. Rock-a-doodle failed. I'm not sure it ever had a chance. And maybe that's why the farmer ran away.
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