As someone who watches a lot of films, the recent decline in good horror or good thriller, is just poor. Simple as that. It's like these people who "make" these films don't even bother trying anymore. I mean, to be fair, this film was predictable. And again, the acting is really bad. It has so much potential to be a decent movie, I don't understand why they didn't spend more time trying. Understandable that there's horror and thrillers of sorts that would be hard to beat, but the fact this whole Loch Ness monster is a "thing", you'd have thought they'd have at least tried harder to make this film a bit more watchable. I have watched it through and to be honest, it might be watchable but there is so many cringe moments.
10 Reviews
what acting?
michaz-218 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
To say the acting was bad would be generous. 3 adults with a gun are running or freezing in fear of a lobster? THEY COULD DEFEAT IT WITH A BLANKET! Not to mention a "Dr" who treats a patient with only paper towels then turn her back on him when he starts convulsing nd gagging saying"I'll be there in a minute". Ugh,, How did this make it to 2 stars? And Ava? What exactly was her special skill that they were glad that she agreed to join the "rescue". She didn't appear to have any skill - definitely not acting. So many flaws even starting early in the morning stating" should be there in an hour and hopefully back by evening". Next minute/scene they are approaching the location and it's the middle of the night. Then it storms violently for rest of the movie but nobody outside on deck gets wet? Windy as all heck and not even sea spray???Let's not forget Ava telling the guy in the submersible not to use the torpedoes? Why not?
The A Lot Mess Don't Bother
darrenk-612193 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I guess Uncorked will add their name to anything now, even SYFY Saturday afternoon trash. Everything about this dumpster fire needs to burned along with the plot, the script, the main actress performance, the editing at 53:55 to 54:04, the thunderstorms with rain you can hear but nothing is wet, the medical bag with only dry wipes, i can go on, but you get the idea. Question: how did one person get infected, but no one else did, even after they touched the goo, got blood on their skin, even the parasite drop slime on someone's face? Not to sound misogynistic, but only the male actors did a half decent job which wasn't much. The CGI was pretty good which was the only positive aspect I could find while suffering 1:18:21, I can't get back.
A really cheesy and problematic creature feature
kannibalcorpsegrinder9 November 2023
After a disastrous accident at sea, a company sends a rescue team to look into what happened and they arrive on the spot to begin their search only to find the truth when a massive sea serpent appears to attack the ship, forcing them to put a stop to the creatures' rampage to leave alive.
Overall, this is a pretty enjoyable if somewhat flawed genre effort. Most of the film's positives are centered around the admittedly enjoyable and cheesy creature attacks that come about through here. The mixture of underwater and top-side attacks that feature the creature attacking their equipment and machinery in these various locales is quite fun with the better-than-expected if still quite obvious CGI creation interacting with submarines, dive cages, or the crew while standing around on the deck of the ship has some cheesy qualities involved for a fun time. Even the revelation about the secondary type of creature that spawns in the bowels of the shop following an attack is quite fun with the series of cheesy chases and encounters that come about which give this some decent gore effects as well. Overall, these are enough to be likable and worthwhile here although there are some issues to be had here. The main drawback to this one is that, for a film as short as this one, it wastes far too much time on the mind-numbing interactions with the crew that aren't interesting or appropriate for this kind of project. The way it spends time trying to engage in small talk about their relationships or engaging in duplicitous espionage covering up the truth about what they're hunting all just isn't that interesting in how mundane or cliched these respective facets of the story are. It takes up a pretty healthy chunk of the first half trying to determine that the crew has been duped about their purpose so these scenes just come off as dull, especially with the unprofessionalism of their approach to the job which is carried out with the kind of lackadaisical energy that comes from not knowing the profession well enough with the way they approach crises that should be quite obvious here. This extends into the other drawback here in the wholly cheap presentation that comes about. As mentioned, the creature's presentation and general activity are usually better-than-expected computer effects that let the spectacle on offer give away its presentation so most of these scenes are quite goofy and silly. The ship scenes have the opposite problem where the presentation is simply using the wrong types of characters that have no formal training or purpose for being here so this can close off any hope of this one working by completely sucking any sense of realism out of the scenario. Also, for being so short the overlong finale that drags everything out endlessly with no real action or confrontations with either creature is a massively disappointing effort with very little about it that's enjoyable, and altogether these factors come together into a somewhat disappointing effort.
Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Violence.
Overall, this is a pretty enjoyable if somewhat flawed genre effort. Most of the film's positives are centered around the admittedly enjoyable and cheesy creature attacks that come about through here. The mixture of underwater and top-side attacks that feature the creature attacking their equipment and machinery in these various locales is quite fun with the better-than-expected if still quite obvious CGI creation interacting with submarines, dive cages, or the crew while standing around on the deck of the ship has some cheesy qualities involved for a fun time. Even the revelation about the secondary type of creature that spawns in the bowels of the shop following an attack is quite fun with the series of cheesy chases and encounters that come about which give this some decent gore effects as well. Overall, these are enough to be likable and worthwhile here although there are some issues to be had here. The main drawback to this one is that, for a film as short as this one, it wastes far too much time on the mind-numbing interactions with the crew that aren't interesting or appropriate for this kind of project. The way it spends time trying to engage in small talk about their relationships or engaging in duplicitous espionage covering up the truth about what they're hunting all just isn't that interesting in how mundane or cliched these respective facets of the story are. It takes up a pretty healthy chunk of the first half trying to determine that the crew has been duped about their purpose so these scenes just come off as dull, especially with the unprofessionalism of their approach to the job which is carried out with the kind of lackadaisical energy that comes from not knowing the profession well enough with the way they approach crises that should be quite obvious here. This extends into the other drawback here in the wholly cheap presentation that comes about. As mentioned, the creature's presentation and general activity are usually better-than-expected computer effects that let the spectacle on offer give away its presentation so most of these scenes are quite goofy and silly. The ship scenes have the opposite problem where the presentation is simply using the wrong types of characters that have no formal training or purpose for being here so this can close off any hope of this one working by completely sucking any sense of realism out of the scenario. Also, for being so short the overlong finale that drags everything out endlessly with no real action or confrontations with either creature is a massively disappointing effort with very little about it that's enjoyable, and altogether these factors come together into a somewhat disappointing effort.
Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Violence.
Watchable, though generic...
paul_haakonsen16 December 2023
I happened to stumble upon the 2023 movie "The Loch Ness Horror" by random luck here in 2023. And with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, much less even heard about, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. I mean, this was a movie about the Loch Ness creature, after all.
Needless to say that I didn't venture into this with a whole lot of high expectations or grand hopes from writer and director Tyler-James. But still, I opted to watch the movie with an open mind and give the writer and director the benefit of the doubt.
The storyline in "The Loch Ness Horror" was pretty generic for a movie such as this. If you have watched any other type of movie with an aquatic monstrous creature of any sort, then you know what you are in for when you sit down to watch this movie. So writer Tyler-James didn't deliver anything particularly impressive with the script and storyline here.
I found out that there is actually a movie from 1982 also titled "The Loch Ness Horror". But as I haven't seen that one, I have no idea whether or not this 2023 movie from writer and director Tyler-James is a remake of that older movie or not.
The acting performances in "The Loch Ness Horror" were fair enough. It was an all unfamiliar cast ensemble to me, and that is something I actually enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. However, there weren't any impressive or outstanding performances to write home about, though.
The CGI effects in the movie were fair enough. It wasn't top of the line impressive CGI effects, but for a movie such as "The Loch Ness Horror" turned out to be, then I will say that the effects were actually adequate enough.
Watchable for what it was, the 2023 movie "The Loch Ness Horror" wasn't exactly impressive or outstanding. It is not a movie that warrants more than just a single viewing. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend creature feature fans to rush out and get to watch.
My rating of "The Loch Ness Horror", from writer and director Tyler-James, lands on a generous four out of ten stars.
Needless to say that I didn't venture into this with a whole lot of high expectations or grand hopes from writer and director Tyler-James. But still, I opted to watch the movie with an open mind and give the writer and director the benefit of the doubt.
The storyline in "The Loch Ness Horror" was pretty generic for a movie such as this. If you have watched any other type of movie with an aquatic monstrous creature of any sort, then you know what you are in for when you sit down to watch this movie. So writer Tyler-James didn't deliver anything particularly impressive with the script and storyline here.
I found out that there is actually a movie from 1982 also titled "The Loch Ness Horror". But as I haven't seen that one, I have no idea whether or not this 2023 movie from writer and director Tyler-James is a remake of that older movie or not.
The acting performances in "The Loch Ness Horror" were fair enough. It was an all unfamiliar cast ensemble to me, and that is something I actually enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. However, there weren't any impressive or outstanding performances to write home about, though.
The CGI effects in the movie were fair enough. It wasn't top of the line impressive CGI effects, but for a movie such as "The Loch Ness Horror" turned out to be, then I will say that the effects were actually adequate enough.
Watchable for what it was, the 2023 movie "The Loch Ness Horror" wasn't exactly impressive or outstanding. It is not a movie that warrants more than just a single viewing. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend creature feature fans to rush out and get to watch.
My rating of "The Loch Ness Horror", from writer and director Tyler-James, lands on a generous four out of ten stars.
Boredom emerges
Hayden-860554 March 2024
Absolute tripe, complete rubbish. One of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I hated the plot, the acting, the characters, the special effects, the poorly lit environments and sets and absolutely dreadful cinematography.
The bulk of the film, basically nothing happens. When the Loch Ness Monster does appear it is poorly designed and basically just shakes the ship/submarine with minimal horror or fun action, I can't stress enough how awful this film is and should never have ever been made.
1/10: Cheesy, uninteresting, silly, cheap and an insult to quality low budget filmmakers everywhere.
The bulk of the film, basically nothing happens. When the Loch Ness Monster does appear it is poorly designed and basically just shakes the ship/submarine with minimal horror or fun action, I can't stress enough how awful this film is and should never have ever been made.
1/10: Cheesy, uninteresting, silly, cheap and an insult to quality low budget filmmakers everywhere.
It's not Loch Ness and there's no horror
continuumx24 April 2024
The movie doesn't take place in or around Loch Ness. It takes place in the North Atlantic somewhere. There is a distinct lack of terror or anything at all happening for much of the movie. The monster shows up now and then to eat someone. The acting is really quite bad even for a low budget horror movie. Almost the entire movie takes place on what I think is a cargo ship of some sort. It looks like a very old ship that was turned into a museum. They make sure you never see the side of the ship so it's probably at dock somewhere. There's also a very cheap submarine set. Asylum-grade monster movies love a cheap submarine set. I guess the CGI for the monster isn't terrible for the little screen time it gets. The movie also come with a small side of Alien for some reason.
This is just not very good. I have seen worse but this is just very mediocre and kind of boring for most of it.
This is just not very good. I have seen worse but this is just very mediocre and kind of boring for most of it.
Bad But Nicely Produced
rodbrooks-5007329 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Think "Alien-meets-Leviathan-meets-Coyote/Roadrunner". In this cartoon of a movie, a nefarious UK organization sends an unlikely team to investigate loss of mini-sub off Scotland. We know from the intro it was tracking a "monster" out of Loch Ness into the North Sea. Attacked. Arrrghhh! Frantic radio transmissions. All dead.
A ridiculous team of 20-somethings joins a team of the Org's thugs on a search mission for the lost sub. They go to sea in what seems an endless overnight thunderstorm. On site, one young gal "the team dive expert" descends in a shark cage, no less, (a la Jaws) naively searching for wreckage -- while a dunce on the thug team in an armed mini-sub dives. Unbeknownst to her, to ride shotgun. It goes bad. Scary sea serpent appears... Munch! Goodbye girlie.
Then the Sea Serpent attacks the mother ship. YIKES! They all see it. Head thug gets spat on with goo. On death's door in the Sick Bay, the ditzy medical specialist gal attempts aid - with him constantly spewing foam and goo, yet she doesn't even put him into the recovery position. Her back turned, SURPRISE, a spidery monster bursts out of his body (a la Alien) and skitters around the ship (a la Alien). Remaining crew learn of the creature, get killed one by one, and the remaining "love Interest" 20-somethings head back to port, as the goof in the mini-sub does a kamikaze run into the mouth of the monster. BOOM. The End.
RIDICULOUS STORY!!! Sucks in premise, plot, and characterization. Fair acting, though.
What is GREAT about this movie, however, is its production. FIVE STARS!
The team goes to sea in a hearty naval ship, apparently able to be managed by a crew of seven. It is seen to be HMS Cavalier, an RN destroyer commissioned in 1944, end of service 1972, and made an alongside museum in 2007 in Chatham.
Amazingly, mainly night/stormy exterior scenes were done aboard Cavalier -- as, it seems, were many below deck scenes. Took me back to my own days serving aboard Cold War-era steam-powered destroyers. Mess decks and engineering spaces, all correct, Bristol fashion, right down to the red leathette mess seat cushions, door and hatch markings, and checkerboard below-deck tiles.
The ship's control room scenes clearly were filmed aboard a museum submarine, with the "search ship" being operated by one man at sub-type controls. As well, several of the below-deck scenes showed the rounded pressure-vessel bulkheads of a submarine. Possibly Oberon class... Several on musem display.
This is what made the movie. A believeable set in its nautical scenes.
A ludicrous story, sure. One-dimensional cartoon characters, of course. An meh acting? Sometimes it was good.
But GREAT production! Thanks for that.
A ridiculous team of 20-somethings joins a team of the Org's thugs on a search mission for the lost sub. They go to sea in what seems an endless overnight thunderstorm. On site, one young gal "the team dive expert" descends in a shark cage, no less, (a la Jaws) naively searching for wreckage -- while a dunce on the thug team in an armed mini-sub dives. Unbeknownst to her, to ride shotgun. It goes bad. Scary sea serpent appears... Munch! Goodbye girlie.
Then the Sea Serpent attacks the mother ship. YIKES! They all see it. Head thug gets spat on with goo. On death's door in the Sick Bay, the ditzy medical specialist gal attempts aid - with him constantly spewing foam and goo, yet she doesn't even put him into the recovery position. Her back turned, SURPRISE, a spidery monster bursts out of his body (a la Alien) and skitters around the ship (a la Alien). Remaining crew learn of the creature, get killed one by one, and the remaining "love Interest" 20-somethings head back to port, as the goof in the mini-sub does a kamikaze run into the mouth of the monster. BOOM. The End.
RIDICULOUS STORY!!! Sucks in premise, plot, and characterization. Fair acting, though.
What is GREAT about this movie, however, is its production. FIVE STARS!
The team goes to sea in a hearty naval ship, apparently able to be managed by a crew of seven. It is seen to be HMS Cavalier, an RN destroyer commissioned in 1944, end of service 1972, and made an alongside museum in 2007 in Chatham.
Amazingly, mainly night/stormy exterior scenes were done aboard Cavalier -- as, it seems, were many below deck scenes. Took me back to my own days serving aboard Cold War-era steam-powered destroyers. Mess decks and engineering spaces, all correct, Bristol fashion, right down to the red leathette mess seat cushions, door and hatch markings, and checkerboard below-deck tiles.
The ship's control room scenes clearly were filmed aboard a museum submarine, with the "search ship" being operated by one man at sub-type controls. As well, several of the below-deck scenes showed the rounded pressure-vessel bulkheads of a submarine. Possibly Oberon class... Several on musem display.
This is what made the movie. A believeable set in its nautical scenes.
A ludicrous story, sure. One-dimensional cartoon characters, of course. An meh acting? Sometimes it was good.
But GREAT production! Thanks for that.
Best Comedy Movie to Exist
kellialeschner15 January 2024
If I could, I would give this spectacular piece of theatrical artwork more than 10 stars. The way the cgi is just absolutely breathtaking. You couldn't even tell that it was cgi! Don't even get me started on this phenomenal acting! This was the best comedy movie I've seen in all of my 20 years of existence and watching movies. I was in tears from laughing so hard and so much! I'll admit, there were a few parts where I couldn't understand what the actors were trying to say. But thank goodness for captions!
I hope this review encourages others to experience this one in a blue moon, banger of a movie.
I hope this review encourages others to experience this one in a blue moon, banger of a movie.
The best movie
wew-7149415 April 2024
I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. This is an absolute masterpiece , I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the bacon go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. It absolutely moved my soul , and I don't think I can ever be the same. This bacon has changed my entire mental state , I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. I have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on , gotta move on , as the song says. The bacon is so inspirational , it shares it vast wisdom with all of us , and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. We are all children on bacon. Hail bacon. Hail bacon. The spinning bacon, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the bacon spins, showing its lightly salt covered tan skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the bacon scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating bacon. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any piece of bacon I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a piece of bacon I have ever seen especially on 57:42. I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was at 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. This is an absolute masterpiece , I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the bacon go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. Tt absolutely moved my soul , and i don't think I can ever be the same. This bacon has changed my entire mental state , I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. I have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on , gotta move on , as the song says. The bacon is so inspirational , it shares it vast wisdom with all of us , and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. We are all children on bacon. Hail bacon. Hail bacon. The spinning bacon, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a piece of bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the bacon spins, showing its lightly salt covered tan skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the bacon scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating bacon. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any bacon I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a bacon I have ever seen especially on 17:24. I am currently crying so hard right now. This is seriously the most beautiful, well put together story ever. I can't believe how magical it was 1:12. That part truly made me shed a tear. And especially at 6:34 that part was just so truly heart touching words can not describe the series of emotions I felt. I absolutely loved the climax it had insanely excellent detail. Oh and we can't forget the conclusion. The conclusion was the greatest and saddest conclusion I have ever seen better than any of the books I have read. Thank you so much for creating this absolute masterpiece. This is essentially the most important masterpiece of film history. It is a tragedy that this, it can't be called a film, but a transcendent emotional experience, will be inaccessible for most. It beautifully encapsulates the human struggle to its basics; suffering, pleasure, faith, despair. The work put in to this is incredibly inspiring. The graphics, the animation, the music, so much thought was put into it. This has remined me that you can do anything you put your mind to. Not even mentioning the memories, this makes me feel like an infant again, just laying my eyes on this beautiful masterpiece gives me all the good feelings in life. I also understand what happiness is again from this. Not even to mention the most incredible part that is 2:10. Bacon spinning has changed my life for the better. It connects with the characters within the viewers, individuals suppressed within our own subconscious. It stays vibrant, fresh, and revolutionizes the art of storytelling and filmmaking while making a damn of statement on what it means to be human. Entertaining, gripping, and simply exhilarating. This might be the most impactful piece of art I've come across in my life, and I'm definitely coming back to it in the near future to study it more deeply. This is an absolute masterpiece , I was brought to tears listening to this and seeing the bacon go whirly swirly in a circle countless times. It absolutely moved my soul , and I don't think I can ever be the same. This bacon has changed my entire mental state , I am now at peace with who I am and what I will be doing later in my life. So much great graphic design, so much suspense, so much greatness in this one video. I have forgiven all my enemies and now I am a man of a pacifist life. I will move on , gotta move on , as the song says. The bacon is so inspirational , it shares it vast wisdom with all of us , and we are all so lucky that it would bestow it's great words with us. We are all children on bacon. Hail bacon. Hail bacon. The spinning bacon, rotating in one direction with this music... This made me tear up. How could such a bacon do such a thing? I'm struck by awe by this masterpiece. Especially when the bacon spins, showing its lightly salt covered tan skin. I can hear the crunch just from here, and so as the beautiful sound of the bacon scraping the dark, smooth velvet floor. The flavor, music and everything can be heard, tasted, seen and felt from a screen. You can really hear the breaths between the music artist, empathizing her love for this rotating bacon. Truly what I call modern art. This was the most legendary performance by any bacon I have ever watched. The acting was top tier and very life changing. This is one of the greatest work from a piece of bacon I have ever seen especially on 57:42. I am crying. This has made me go through an emotional rollercoaster. I cried, beat off, and also watched a movie while watching this premiere. This has made me go through so much. I passed depression because of this. It really inspired me to become happy and understand life thank you.
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