Comedian Chris Tucker jams his foot in his mouth and is annoying, at times, unbearable, in his new movie "Money Talks," and Charlie Sheen doesn't do much else either. He looks like he doesn't want to be there, and his role is that of the typical idiot news reporter who wants a scoop and is getting married to a woman who knows nothing about him. Add an action plot with guns firing and people running. All the usual suspects of formula action comedy are here.
Tucker plays con man Franklin Hatchett, a fast-talking motormouth who runs a small-time car wash and is a ticket scalper. He owes money to a local mobster and has caught the attention of investigating news reporter James Russel (Charlie Sheen,) who has Hatchett arrested. French criminal Raymond Villard (Gerard Ismael) is the film's villain, and he is too vicious for a comedy that comes off as lighthearted. Not surprisingly, the prison transport gets intercepted by mercenaries, and Villard escapes with Hatchett handcuffed to him. No one thought of the possibility that Villard could've blown up? It's strange to me that only Hatchett and Villard survive the assault.
Hatchett manages to escape and is now wanted for the murder of several police officers and escaping custody. Sound familiar? It should. It's straight out of the buddy-comedy formula handbook. Sometimes, the performances can make the movie with a standard story, such as "Lethal Weapon." No! There is nothing new here. The plot is so dumb, with Villard trying to retrieve a stash of diamonds and Hatchett trying to get them before the criminals do. As a result, it becomes an excuse for Tucker to do his comedy routine and act like an idiot.
You may remember Tucker from "The Fifth Element" a few months ago. He plays the same annoying character here as he did in that movie. Except this time, he seems to be trying to act because he has more of a character to develop, which he doesn't. He uses improvisation by mostly threatening to knock everyone out in a rant style. "Who do you think you messing with?" Only to get punched, and he says, "Alright, you win." "Alright. I'm a stop."
Russell gets fired from Channel 12, and Hatchett is fingered as the mastermind for the prison break. Anyone with eyes could see that Hatchett doesn't have the skill to pull off the escape. Yet, the news mentions the terrorist who escaped. You think he might have had something to do with it? No, because a manhunt ensures for Hatchett, and he turns to Sheen for protection.
Seeing an opportunity to get his job back during "sweeps week," Russell hides out Hatchett at his girlfriend's parent's house when his name gets on the news as a wanted fugitive. Grace's dad, Guy ( Paul Sorvino,) is so dumb he thinks Hatchett is Vic Damone Jr. Her mother (Veronica Cartwright) is an alcoholic and the most thankless role in the movie. James's fiance, Grace (Heather Locklear,) is a daddy's girl, nothing more, and of course, it doesn't feel like anything because there is no chemistry between James and Grace.
Where the movie does pick up some steam is towards the end. It's a full-blown shootout on a Football field where a dirty detective is revealed, and it's no surprise because you see it coming early in the film when he first appears. You're not left with anything but sparks flying and endless banter. However, Hatchett's friend Aaron (Michael Wright) sits in the stands, with his hulking henchman and shoots at everybody. They even have fun, humorlessly blowing the place up with an RPG. Why could he be in the film more?
If you are expecting a twist ending, stop thinking so hard because it's exactly what you've come to expect. Sheen and Tucker are friends after an hour and a half, and the movie has left us with stupid comedy gags, useless prop characters, flat writing, and a stock standard action comedy story we have seen countless times with the black and the white guy. Only this time, Sheen looks like he wants to jump in the river for most of the movie and never moves past the pissed-off guy with a scowl.
"Money Talks" is useless in every aspect, from Sheen to Tucker to the story. Tucker can't help himself when he goes on verbal rants and has the thankless task of trying to be taken seriously. It's the kind of stupidity that begs for laughs, and none of it is funny. You can see the intelligence in Tucker when he shuts up for a moment, and that cheesy smile is enough to pull you in, but what he is capable of, I'm not too sure what that is yet.
4/10.
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