Review of Isabelle

Isabelle (I) (2018)
Where have all the colours gone from modern cinema? Is this a b&w movie?
8 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I gave this one star less because of the film's dismal look. Although, that minus point is a virtual minus point, because I couldn't give it anything lower than 1/10.

Even the trees and grass look grey! Brown bushes? You can find them here! It's those damn new film-makers who ushered in this age of drab-looking crap grey movies. Even television is affected by this new affliction. Or not even that new; this has been going on for almost 20 years now. For 20 years now people have been increasing the brightness and contrast on their TV sets, trying to get a clearer, better picture. Directors play the original footage (which must look a LOT better than what we get) through their bloody laptops and diminish/alter the colours on purpose, or, as in this case, take them away almost entirely. So no, IMDb claiming that this flick is in colour is a blatant fallacy. The existence and perpetuation of this pathetic wave of glum-looking movies - in pretty much all genres except comedy - is a mystery to me. There seems to be no end to this idiotic trend. Do film-makers actually believe that UGLIFYING their movies will make them "more dramatic", more tense, more atmospheric - and better? We only get to see colours in comedies. But because modern comedies are so horrible, what's the use... They may as well darken them too...

Are 70s movies colourless? They most certainly aren't. And yet they look very realistic, they are moody, and their subtle "graininess" gives them a certain quality that these plastic-looking modern turds can't even remotely approach. So shut down your bloody laptops and intricate photoshop programs - and start making CINEMATIC films again! You lazy non-talent zombie putzes...

Amanda Crew is the main reason I picked this. One of the very best - and prettiest - of all actresses of her generation, she can single-handedly carry a movie, even a weak one. Not a crap one though: she's not Superwoman.

It doesn't start off weak, but it certainly gets completely lost around the middle in plot/motive confusion and repetitiveness. It gets stuck in a rut, this rut perhaps being used to pad the plot because it's so paper-thin. I hate it when a plot starts going in circles, and that's exactly what the bulk of the movie essentially is. 1. Crew experiences something supernatural, yet her husband either doesn't believe her or is totally confused. 2. Repeat. That's the MO here. When a ghost is so bored that all it can do is play hide-and-seek with its victims, over and over, then you know the plot is over with, i.e. the movie is an abortion.

In the beginning Crew's husband is a believer in possession, then NOT a believer. Shouldn't that be the other way round?

What's with "The Saratoga Daily" publishing their articles in Italian! Or did I simply get an Italian copy of the film? But if so, WHY go through the bother of photoshopping all the laptop scenes with a non-English language? Can't Italians read subtitles? Oh right... They can't. They synchronize everything, because CLEARLY movies sound so much better with all the original voices replaced by sound-studio hacks overacting their bums off in a different language.

These Saratoga articles are the only hints we get for an ENTIRE HOUR. I.e. while the ghost plays a repetitive, boring game of cat-and-mouse with Crew, we get almost no unraveling of the mystery, just some vague talk of a girl being used in a Satanic ritual many years ago. Because - clearly - girls abused and killed (?) by Satanists take over the bodies of recently pregnant women. Crew's husband can't see the wheelchair ghost, yet a woman that Crew meets early on can. Say what? The script is a mess.

Then when the story finally unfolds... it basically doesn't unfold as much as just poop on the audience. The ending is utterly moronic, illogical and even badly directed. AND it's all in "beautiful" black and white. Or brown and white.

It is pitiful that an actress as cute and competent as Crew is frittering away her best years on such nonsense. But hey, she didn't have the fortune of being born into a powerful Hollywood clan which would guarantee her all the top roles.

Then again, there ARE no top roles in the demonically possessed UnHolywood anymore. Because there are no more top movies. She should have been born 20-30 years earlier.
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