oscaralbert Review of Suspiria

Suspiria (1977)

There are "close, but no cigar" flicks, and then there are films such as . . .

[6/10 · 6 October 2019]

. . . SUSPIRA (1977), with little to recommend them other than (in this specific case) a strikingly colorful production design which evokes THE FALL (2006); A WOMAN, A GUN, AND A NOODLE SHOP (2009); and some of the zanier Looney Tunes background artists of the 1950s. Featuring a soundtrack of grating "goblin" noise to distract viewers from the fact that "there is no there here," SUSPIRA (1977) is simply a hodgepodge of American Horror staples mixed together like a poorly-tossed salad in a totally haphazard and half-hearted manner. Early on SUSPIRA (1977) sports a close-up of water swirling down into a storm gutter grate, causing viewers to guess they're in for killer clowns, along the lines of IT. If only. At 52:50, two coeds enter a gloomy swimming pool, readying watchers for a girl-chomping along the lines of JAWS and that Caribbean James Bond outing. No such luck. Though "Lurch" has been appropriated from the "Addams Family," he's just a bumbler nonessential to whatever plot may have been intended for this misfire. Worse yet, horror fans are subjected to a cartoonish "bat"--a not-so-special effect, which any 1930s DRACVLA or even later Vincent Price cheapie puts to shame. SUSPIRA (1977) is no BLACK SWAN. Though the former's maggots-from-Heaven scene may startle the HAIRSPRAY crowd, the latter's quick pacing, actual music, and chilling climax puts this joking attempt at "a fright at the ballet" to shame. Only effete scoundrels could champion the mushy foie gras of SUSPIRA (1977) over the All-American red meat of the BLACK SWAN!