AZ-Ben Review of Asteroid vs Earth

Asteroid vs Earth (2014 TV Movie)

This will rise to the status of Cult Classic!

[3/10 · 8 July 2014]

Destined to be a cult classic, this movie reminds me of Plan 9 from Outer Space, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, etc. The plot includes a subtle reference to a former gay shipboard romance, later solidified in the last scenes by the tough crewman acknowledging "we know". The asteroid is too big for deflection, but the earth can shimmy out of the way with a couple of earthquakes that will kill only half the population. This is kept secret from everyone except the evil U.S. military command who runs roughshod over China, Russia/Ukraine, and EU in an early teleconference. The XO is told he will report to the civilian scientist (Tia Carerre) as her "weapons officer". The nuclear powered submarine needs to leave before low tide. The draft is 18 feet. So they DIVE in the harbor to leave. Amazing. The faulty welding floods part of the sub and they lose the nuclear bombs made from parts of the scientist's deep water submarine which somehow float out the top hatch. Yet the people in the flooded compartment are OK. Later the submarine is severed in two by charges placed at 18-inch intervals — while underway at maximum depth — to drop the tail section with nuclear bombs into the Yap Trench. Yet when the front section surfaces it can make way with no tail and no propellers — AND the conning tower is moved from mid-ship to forward. There are so many continuity, logic, and procedural errors that the laughs never stop. This film will stay alive like Rocky Horror Picture Show!