Review of Ritual

Ritual (I) (2013)
1/10
A very unimpressive waste of time
16 January 2014
Not long before watching this film, I took a nice long dump. Never did I imagine that would be the highlight of watching this movie. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Please do not waste your time on the unintelligent protagonist or her dimwitted accomplice. The little story that is present in this film advances at the mighty pace of a disabled snail. It would have been very kind for the director to have poured a healthy dose of salt upon said snail, instead the creative direction of the film has him crawl across a southern Walmart parking lot in high sun of July. By the time our mighty snail (this film) finally did meet its overdue end, I had long been praying that a kind shopper would just run over it after fulfilling their family's weekly grocery and household needs. I think the actual story of such a snail would have been more interesting than the film as presented.
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