Review of Storage 24

Storage 24 (2012)
5/10
It's bad, but it's not unwatchable.
1 May 2013
The plot: A few people get trapped in a warehouse after a military plane goes down.

Storage 24 is a low budget, generic Alien clone. It's not really all that good, but I couldn't bring myself to hate it. For one thing, it's got Geoff Bell, the security guard from Botched, in a minor role. That brought back memories of Boris and his awesome lines. Besides the cult actor, there's also a cheesy alien who looks like a bizarre ripoff of several iconic aliens. The most obvious influence seems to be Predator, but there's also a lot of District 9 thrown in, too.

The acting and writing are uneven, but for grizzled genre veterans, this surely won't be a show stopper. If you've sat through Syfy original movies, then you've probably seen worse, though the competition is certainly going to be fierce. There's a bit of misogyny, macho posturing, and bland hero-making (where a whiny everyman transforms himself into a manly hero), but the biggest problem is that not too much happens for the first half of the movie. If you're the type of person who hates sitting through boring character development in a movie where you know that the characters are doomed to die soon, then you'll probably be a bit bored and restless. The deaths are a bit repetitive and not very original, but they're gory enough to keep the attention of most horror fans.

If you're looking for something deadly serious, I'd skip this movie. It's too cheesy and quirky to really take seriously. I have to wonder if they realized they were making a bad movie, then decided to just add a bunch of silly scenes, like actors feeling up mannequins and playing with toys. Well, for some people, that seems to have utterly ruined the movie, but, for me, it actually managed to save the movie. I really can't hate a movie which has actors copping a feel on a mannequin.

If you're the kind of person who needs high brow entertainment in his science fiction, you should definitely skip this movie. If you're looking for something to tide you over until the next direct-to-video ripoff of Alien comes out, then you should give some thought to watching this. If you're like me, then you've sat through much worse, and you'll probably be able to salvage some degree of entertainment from Storage 24.
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