Showdown (I) (1993)
6/10
Clichéd and frankly embarrassing......but oh so much fun
1 June 2009
Billy Blanks headlines in this hilariously cheesy Karate Kid rip off as an ex-police officer turned school janitor(!) who makes it his mission to break a cruel kickboxing tournament whilst simultaneously teaching one poor wimp how to defend himself against the local school bully. Well, if you enjoy movie clichés then you'll absolutely LOVE this little gem! Yes, it's all here; new kid getting bullied by karate bad boy who trains under a psychopath; both share the same love interest; kid learns karate to defend himself and is an expert in about......um.....all of what appears to be a about a week(!!!!) Of course the newly trained student must inevitably meet up for a climatic showdown with his bullying nemesis whereupon by seeming contractual obligation he is subsequently beaten to the point of apparent near death but suddenly, as if by some divine intervention an ostensible miracle transpires and he subsequently leaps back to his feet (plus rips off his shirt to reveal his macho, oiled down physique) and administers a miraculous and victorious come back (wow!!!!!!) then for the grand finale the psychopath instructor by clichéd obligation of course faces off against the kids teacher - cue our Billy in turn taking a brutal beating to near coma before suddenly realising that good guys are supposed to win and getting back to his feet (now obviously sans his shirt in order to show off his macho, oiled down physique) and forgetting his pronounced injuries, wins in style (with a series of lovingly shot, slow motion spin kicks no less!) Great Scott! - This doesn't have an original idea in it's body but frankly who cares - it's pure dumb fun of the highest calibre.

As a final note (or is that insult?) although this was made in 1993, judging by the hair styles and clothing the students (who curiously all look as though they are actually in their thirties and forties!!!!!) wear, it looks more circa 1980's! Tremendously daft stuff and a real hoot if you're in the correct frame of mind.
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