Tommy Lee Jones: Agent K

Men in Black³

Agent K

[last lines]
Griffin: This is my NEW favourite moment in human history... unless this is the one where K forgets to leave a tip...
[sees a meteor about to hit the Earth in the distant future]
Agent K: Almost forgot...
[leaves a tip - a satellite appears and collides with the meteor, rendering the Earth safe]
Griffin: That was a close one!

Agent J: My daddy gave me this watch, it was the only thing he ever did as I never saw him while growing up...
Agent K: Don't badmouth your old man.

Mr. Wu: That is an Earth fish. Very traditional in China. You arrest me, that's a hate crime!
Agent K: It would be if you were Chinese!

[Z's eulogy]
Agent K: I worked for Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time he never invited me to dinner. Heve never asked to me to his house to watch a game. He never shared a single detail of his personal life. Thank you.
Agent O: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
Agent J: That was your eulogy?
Agent K: He was a good man.
Agent O: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms, when I told the Felucian Zyglot about Zed's passing, she said something that I'm going to repeat. And I'm paraphrasing. Ahem.
[starts screeching in an alien tongue]
Agent O: That's just so Zed.

Agent K: Boris the Animal: I blew off his arm and had him imprisoned at Lunamax. Biggest mistake I ever made.
Agent J: Sorry, man. Was he innocent?
Agent K: I should have killed him!

Boris The Animal: Hello, K.
Agent K: Boris the Animal.
Boris The Animal: [angrily] It's just Boris!
Agent K: You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is... still shot off.
Boris The Animal: Yes, my arm.
[caresses his pet]
Boris The Animal: We've thought about that moment every day for the last 40 years.
Agent K: Well, that's just not living a full life.
Boris The Animal: I can promise you it will be longer than yours.
Agent K: Lonelier, too, since you're the last Boglodite standing.
Boris The Animal: We'll see about that. But first, I wanted the pleasure of killing you...
Agent J: [arrives on the roof] Yo, K.
[Boris starts shooting spikes at J and K, who use the door that Jay came through as a shield]
Agent K: Where the hell have you been?
Agent J: Fishing!
[Boris continues shooting spikes until J and K fall off of the roof]
Boris The Animal: You don't know it, K, but you're already dead.

Agent J: Can you promise me something, if I go first, you'll do better than that at my funeral? Yeah, something like, uh: "J was a friend. Now there's a big part of me that's gone. Oh, J, all the things I should have said, except I was too old and craggy and surly and just tight. I was too tight. Now, I'm gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin."
Agent K: I'll wing something.

[from trailer]
Agent J: Who are we?
Agent K: We are no-one. Our mission is to monitor extraterrestrial activity on Earth.

[repeated line]
Agent K: [Cross-checking Agent J while driving] Did you lose something over here hondo?

Agent J: You know, there's a really high possibility now that I might know some things you don't know.
Agent K: I doubt it.
Agent J: I bet I know what went on between you and O.
Agent K: She's a very fine lady, but you know the rules: there's no fraternizing among agents.
Agent J: I think y'all might have fraternized once or twice...

Agent J: I used to play a game with my dad called "catch", except I would just throw the ball and it'd hit the wall, 'cause he wasn't there.
Agent K: Don't bad mouth your old man!
Agent J: I'm not bad mouthing him, I just didn't really know him.
Agent K: [looking around the restaurant] It's not right...
Agent J: You damn right, it's not right. A little boy needs a father.
Agent K: Table 1 hasn't ordered a thing, table 3 over there just drank his 4th cup of duck sauce.
Agent O: [over the phone] K, the crashed ship from this morning was stolen from...
Agent K: LunarMax Prison, Boris the Animal.
Agent O: How did you know...?
Agent K: He always had a taste for spikey bulba. Give us a minute, will you Chief?
Agent J: We're in a situation...
Agent K: [sighs] Yeah... I'll take the chloropod, you take the taranbee and the hydronian over there, I'll take whoever is in the kitchen and meet you on the street.
Agent J: This is a very confusing time in my life.