The Social Network (2010)

Jesse Eisenberg: Mark Zuckerberg

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Quotes 

• Gage : Mr. Zuckerberg, do I have your full attention?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [stares out the window]  No.

  Gage : Do you think I deserve it?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [looks at Gage]  What?

  Gage : Do you think I deserve your full attention?

  Mark Zuckerberg : I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition, and I don't want to perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.

  Gage : Okay - no. You don't think I deserve your attention.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try - but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.

  [pauses] 

  Mark Zuckerberg : Did I adequately answer your condescending question?

• Gretchen : 18,000 dollars?

  Eduardo Saverin : Yes.

  Gretchen : In addition to the $1,000 you'd already put up?

  Eduardo Saverin : Yes.

  Gretchen : A total of $19,000 now?

  Eduardo Saverin : Yes.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Hang on.

  [Mark sarcastically adds up the 2 amounts on his notepad] 

  Mark Zuckerberg : I'm just checking your math on that. Yes, I got the same thing.

• Mark Zuckerberg : You signed the papers.

  Eduardo Saverin : [almost in tears]  You set me up.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You're gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company?

  Eduardo Saverin : This is gonna be like I'm not a part of Facebook!

  Sean Parker : It won't be like you're not a part of Facebook. You're not a part of Facebook.

  Eduardo Saverin : My name's on the masthead.

  Sean Parker : You might wanna check again.

  Eduardo Saverin : Just because I froze the account?

  Sean Parker : Did you think we were going to let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company?

  Eduardo Saverin : [cutting him off; screaming]  Sorry! My Prada's at the cleaners! Along with my hoodie and my 'fuck you' flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag!

  Sean Parker : Security's here, you'll be leaving now.

  Eduardo Saverin : I'm not signing those papers.

  Sean Parker : We will get the signature.

  Eduardo Saverin : [to Mark]  Tell me this isn't about me getting into the Phoenix.

  [Mark scoffs] 

  Eduardo Saverin : [in disbelief]  You... You did it! I knew you did it! You planted that story about the chicken!

  Mark Zuckerberg : I didn't plant the story about the chicken.

  Sean Parker : What's he talking about?

  Eduardo Saverin : You had me accused of animal cruelty.

  Sean Parker : Seriously, what the hell's the chicken?

  Eduardo Saverin : [leans down close to Mark, his voice low and dangerous]  And I'll bet what you hated the most was that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which I am. You better lawyer up asshole, because I'm not coming back for 30%, I'm coming back for EVERYTHING.

  [backs away from Mark slowly, still looking at him] 

• Mark Zuckerberg : As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board.

  Ad Board Chairwoman : I'm sorry?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yes?

  Ad Board Chairwoman : I don't understand.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Which part?

• Bob : You know, I could swear he was looking at you when he said 'The next Bill Gates could be right in this room'.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I... I doubt it.

  Bob : I showed up late, I don't even know who the speaker was.

  Mark Zuckerberg : It was Bill Gates.

  Bob : Shit, that makes sense.

• Mark Zuckerberg : You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.

• Divya Narendra : You invented something in high school too, right?

  Mark Zuckerberg : An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music.

  Divya Narendra : Anybody try to buy it?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Microsoft.

  Divya Narendra : Wow. How much?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Didn't sell it, uploaded it for free.

  Divya Narendra : For free?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yeah.

  Divya Narendra : [Looking a little puzzled]  Why?

  [Mark shrugs] 

• Erica Albright : [Angry]  I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even.

  Erica Albright : I think we should just be friends.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I don't want friends.

  Erica Albright : I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.

• Mark Zuckerberg : Ma'am, I know you've done your homework and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life, but at the moment I could buy Mt. Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club, and turn it into my ping-pong room.

• [first lines] 

  Mark Zuckerberg : Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?

  Erica Albright : That can't possibly be true.

  Mark Zuckerberg : It is.

  Erica Albright : What would account for that?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Well first, an awful lot of people live in China. But, here's my question: how do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SATs?

  Erica Albright : I didn't know they take SATs in China.

  Mark Zuckerberg : They don't. I wasn't talking about China anymore, I was talking about me.

• Mark Zuckerberg : Your date looks so familiar to me.

  Sean Parker : She looks familiar to a lot of people.

  Mark Zuckerberg : What do you mean?

  Sean Parker : A Stanford MBA named Roy Raymond wants to buy his wife some lingerie but he's too embarrassed to shop for it at a department store. He comes up with an idea for a high end place that doesn't make you feel like a pervert. He gets a $40,000 bank loan, borrows another $40,000 from his in-laws, opens a store, and calls it Victoria's Secret. Makes a half million dollars his first year. He starts a catalog, opens three more stores and after five years he sells the company to Leslie Wexner and the Limited for four million dollars. Happy ending, right? Except two years later, the company's worth 500 million dollars and Roy Raymond jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. Poor guy just wanted to buy his wife a pair of thigh-highs.

• Mark Zuckerberg : I went to my friend for the money because that's who I wanted to be partners with. Eduardo was the president of the Harvard Investors Association, and he was also my best friend.

  Gage : Your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars.

  Mark Zuckerberg : [Sarcastically]  I didn't know that, tell me more.

• Erica Albright : You called me a bitch on the Internet, Mark.

  Mark Zuckerberg : That's why I wanted to talk to you.

  Erica Albright : On the Internet.

  Mark Zuckerberg : That's why I came over.

  Erica Albright : Comparing women to farm animals.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I didn't end up doing that.

  Erica Albright : It didn't stop you from writing it. As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared. The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink. And you published that Erica Albright was a bitch, right before you made some ignorant crack about my family's name, my bra size, and then rated women based on their hotness.

  Reggie : Erica, is there a problem?

  Erica Albright : [Turning to talk to Reggie]  No, there's no problem.

  Erica Albright : [Turning back to face Mark]  You write your snide bullshit from a dark room because that's what the angry do nowadays. I was nice to you, don't torture me for it.

  Mark Zuckerberg : If we could just go somewhere for a minute.

  Erica Albright : I don't want to be rude to my friends.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Okay.

  Erica Albright : Okay.

  [pauses for a moment] 

  Erica Albright : Good luck with your video-game.

• Erica Albright : I'm going back to my dorm.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Wait, wait! Is this real?

  Erica Albright : Yes!

  Mark Zuckerberg : Okay, then wait. I apologize, okay?

  Erica Albright : I have to go study.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Erica...

  Erica Albright : [Harsh and angry]  Yes?

  Mark Zuckerberg : I'm sorry, I mean it.

  Erica Albright : I appreciate that, but I have to go study.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Come on, you don't have to study, you don't have to study, let's just talk.

  Erica Albright : I can't.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Why?

  Erica Albright : Because it is exhausting! Dating you is like dating a StairMaster!

  Mark Zuckerberg : All I meant is that you're not likely to... currently. I wasn't making a comment on your appearance, I was saying that you go to BU. I was stating a fact, that's all. And if it seemed rude, than of course I apologize.

  Erica Albright : I have to go study.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You don't have to study.

  Erica Albright : [Exasperated and angry]  Why do you keep saying I don't have to study?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Because you go to BU!

  Erica Albright : [Erica stares at him, furious] 

  Mark Zuckerberg : Do you want to get some food?

• Eduardo Saverin : Mark. Mark!

  Sean Parker : He's wired in.

  Eduardo Saverin : Sorry?

  Sean Parker : He's wired in.

  Eduardo Saverin : Is he?

  Sean Parker : Yes.

  [takes Mark's laptop and smashes it down on the desk, destroying it] 

  Eduardo Saverin : How about now? You still wired in?

  Sean Parker : Call security.

  Eduardo Saverin : You issued 24 million new shares of stock.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You were told that if new investors came along...

  Eduardo Saverin : How much were your shares diluted?

  [points to Sean] 

  Eduardo Saverin : How much were his?

• Marylin Delpy : What are you doing?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Checking in to see how it's going in Bosnia.

  Marylin Delpy : Bosnia. They don't have roads, but they have Facebook.

  [Mark says nothing] 

  Marylin Delpy : You must really hate the Winklevosses.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I don't hate anybody. The "Winklevii" aren't suing me for intellectual property theft. They're suing me because for the first time in their lives, things didn't go exactly the way they were supposed to for them.

• Erica Albright : Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Did you really just say that?

  Erica Albright : I was kidding. Although just because something's trite doesn't make it any less true.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I want to try to be straightforward with you and tell you I think you might want to be a little more supportive. If I get in I will be taking you to the events, and the gatherings, and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet.

  Erica Albright : [Erica stares at Mark for a moment, then smiles]  You would do that for me?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [Shrugs]  We're dating.

  Erica Albright : Okay. Well I want to be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore.

  Mark Zuckerberg : What do you mean?

  Erica Albright : We're not dating anymore, I'm sorry.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Is this a joke?

  Erica Albright : No, it's not.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You're breaking up with me?

  Erica Albright : You're going to introduce me to people I wouldn't normally have the chance to to meet? What the f... what is that supposed to mean?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Wait. Settle down...

  Erica Albright : What is it supposed to mean?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is because you used to sleep with the door guy.

  Erica Albright : The door guy? His name is Bobby. I have not slept with the door guy. The door guy is a friend of mine, and he is a perfectly good class of people. And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon?

• Eduardo Saverin : [Answering a call from Mark on his cell phone]  Yeah?

  Mark Zuckerberg : You froze our account?

  Eduardo Saverin : I did.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You froze the account!

  Eduardo Saverin : I had to get your attention Mark.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Do you realize that you jeopardized the entire company? Do you realize that your actions could have permanently destroyed everything I've been working on?

  Eduardo Saverin : WE have been working on!

  Mark Zuckerberg : [speaking frantically, almost hysterical]  Without money the site can't function. Okay, let me tell you the difference between Facebook and everyone else, we don't crash EVER! If those servers are down for even a day, our entire reputation is irreversibly destroyed! Users are fickle, Friendster has proved that. Even a few people leaving would reverberate through the entire userbase. The users are interconnected, that is the whole point. College kids are online because their friends are online, and if one domino goes, the other dominos go, don't you get that? I am not going back to the Caribbean Night at AEPi!

• Marylin Delpy : The site got twenty-two hundred hits within two hours?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Thousand.

  Marylin Delpy : I'm sorry?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Twenty-two *thousand*.

  Marylin Delpy : [to herself]  Wow.

• Mark Zuckerberg : I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.

  Erica Albright : Why?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Because they're exclusive. And fun. And they lead to a better life.

  Erica Albright : Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix club.

  Mark Zuckerberg : He was a member of the Porcelain, and yes he did.

• Mark Zuckerberg : I'm not a bad guy.

  Marylin Delpy : I know that. When there's emotional testimony, I assume that 85% of it is exaggeration.

  Mark Zuckerberg : And the other fifteen?

  Marylin Delpy : Perjury. Creation myths need a Devil.

• Mark Zuckerberg : So how's it going? How's the internship? How's Christy?

  Eduardo Saverin : How's the internship?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yeah.

  Eduardo Saverin : Mark... Jesus... I quit the internship. We talked about this on the phone. I quit on my first day.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I do remember you saying that. So how is Christy?

  Eduardo Saverin : Christy's crazy.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Is that fun?

  Eduardo Saverin : No. I mean, she's actually psychotic. She's insanely jealous, she's irrational, and I'm frightened of her.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Still, it's nice you have a girlfriend.

• Eduardo Saverin : Hey, Mark.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Wardo.

  Eduardo Saverin : You and Erica split up.

  Mark Zuckerberg : [confused]  How did you know that?

  Eduardo Saverin : It's on your blog.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yeah.

  Eduardo Saverin : Are you all right?

  Mark Zuckerberg : I need you.

  Eduardo Saverin : I'm here for you.

  Mark Zuckerberg : No, I need the algorithm you used to rank chess players.

  Eduardo Saverin : Are you OK?

  Mark Zuckerberg : We're ranking girls.

• Erica Albright : Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman?

  Mark Zuckerberg : So you can see why it's so important to get in.

  Erica Albright : Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [pauses, taken aback]  Why would you ask me that?

  Erica Albright : I was just asking.

  Mark Zuckerberg : None of them. That's the point. My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer, and Eduardo won't come close to getting in. The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.

• Sean Parker : And that's where you're headed, a billion dollar valuation. Unless you take bad advice, in which case you may as well have come up with a chain of very successful yogurt shops. When you go fishing you can catch a lot of fish, or you can catch a big fish. You ever walk into a guy's den and see a picture of him standing next to fourteen trout?

  Christy : No, he's holding a three-thousand-pound marlin.

  Sean Parker : Yup!

  Mark Zuckerberg : That's a good analogy.

  Eduardo Saverin : Okay, but we all know that marlins don't really weigh three-thousand pounds, right?

  Christy : Have you seen the big ones up close?

  Eduardo Saverin : No I haven't, but I really don't think the guy's holding a marlin the size of a Range Rover. That would be a really big fish and a very strong guy.

  Christy : You think we might be getting away from the point?

• Mark Zuckerberg : I was drunk, and angry, and stupid...

  Marylin Delpy : ...and Blogging.

  Mark Zuckerberg : And Blogging.

• Mark Zuckerberg : I invented Facebook.

  Marylin Delpy : I'm talking about a jury. I specialize in voir dire - jury selection. And what the jury sees when they look at the defendant. Clothes, hair, speaking style... likability.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Likability?

  Marylin Delpy : I've been licensed to practice law for all of 20 months and I could get a jury to believe you planted the story about Eduardo and the chicken. Watch what else. Why weren't you at Sean's sorority party that night?

  Mark Zuckerberg : You think I'm the one who called the police?

  Marylin Delpy : Doesn't matter. I asked the question and now everyone's thinking about it. You've lost your jury in the first ten minutes.

• Sean Parker : [Looking at the boxes of business cards on Mark's desk]  What's the package?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [avoiding eye contact]  Nothing.

  Sean Parker : [Sean smiles]  Mackey?

  Mackey : Yes, sir?

  Sean Parker : Refresh!

  [Screen shows 1,000,046 members on refreshing the page, all the Facebook employees cheer] 

  Sean Parker : And you're not a hugger, I know.

  [hugs Mark, while Mark resists] 

• Erica Albright : You know, from a woman's perspective, sometimes not singing in an a cappella group is a good thing.

  Mark Zuckerberg : This is serious.

  Erica Albright : On the other hand, I do like guys who row crew.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Well, I can't do that.

  Erica Albright : I was kidding!

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yes, I got nothing wrong on the test.

  Erica Albright : Have you ever tried?

  Mark Zuckerberg : I'm trying right now.

  Erica Albright : To row crew?

  Mark Zuckerberg : To get into a Final Club. To row crew? No, are you like, whatever, delusional?

  Erica Albright : Maybe, it's just sometimes you say two things at once, I'm not sure which one I'm supposed to be aiming at.

  Mark Zuckerberg : But you've seen guys who row crew right?

  Erica Albright : [thinking for a moment]  No.

  Mark Zuckerberg : Okay, well, they're bigger than me. They're world class athletes. And a second ago you said that you like guys who row crew so I assumed you had met one.

  Erica Albright : I guess I just meant I like the idea of it. You know, the way a girl likes cowboys.

• Mark Zuckerberg : Eduardo, it's like a Final Club except we're the president.

• Mark Zuckerberg : People want to go online and check out their friends, so why not build a website that offers that? Friends, pictures, profiles, whatever you can visit, browse around, maybe it's someone you just met at a party. Eduardo, I'm not talking about a dating site, I'm talking about taking the entire social experience of college and putting it online.

• Eduardo Saverin : I do not want that guy representing himself as part of this company.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You gotta move out here, Wardo, this is where it's all happening.

  Eduardo Saverin : Did you hear what I just said?

  Mark Zuckerberg : The connections, the energy...

  Eduardo Saverin : Mark, you got...

  Mark Zuckerberg : I'm afraid if you don't come out here, you're gonna get left behind. I want... I need you out here. Please don't tell him I said that.

  Eduardo Saverin : What did you just say?

  Mark Zuckerberg : It's moving faster than any of us ever imagined it would. It's moving fast...

  Eduardo Saverin : What did you mean?

  Mark Zuckerberg : ...and Sean thinks we have...

  Eduardo Saverin : Sean is not part of this company.

  Mark Zuckerberg : We have over 300,000 members, Wardo, and we're in 160 schools, including five in Europe.

  Eduardo Saverin : I'm aware of that! Mark, I am the CFO!

  Mark Zuckerberg : We need more servers than I ever expected we'd need. We need more programmers and we need more money, and he set up the Thiel meeting. He set up meetings all over town.

  Eduardo Saverin : He set up other meetings?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yes.

  Eduardo Saverin : Without me knowing anything about it.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You're in New York.

  Eduardo Saverin : I'm in New York riding subways 14 hours a day, trying to find advertisers!

  Mark Zuckerberg : And how's it going so far?

  Eduardo Saverin : [stares at Mark in silence]  What did you mean, "get left behind"?

• Erica Albright : Must be nice. He made $300,000 in a summer?

  Mark Zuckerberg : He likes meteorology.

  Erica Albright : You said it was oil futures.

  Mark Zuckerberg : You can read the weather, you can predict the price of heating oil.

• Eduardo Saverin : They're saying, the Winklevoss twins are saying that you stole their idea.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I find that to be a little more than mildly annoying.

  Eduardo Saverin : Oh? Well, they find it to be intellectual property theft. Why didn't you show this to me?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [flippantly]  It was addressed to me.

  Eduardo Saverin : They're saying that we stole theFaceBook from Divya Narendera and the Winklevosses.

  Mark Zuckerberg : [trying to grab the letter out of Eduardo's hands]  I know what it says!

  Eduardo Saverin : Did we?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Did we what?

  Eduardo Saverin : Don't screw around with me now. Look at me!

  Mark Zuckerberg : [Mark begrudgingly looks up at him] 

  Eduardo Saverin : The letter says we could face legal action.

  Mark Zuckerberg : No, it says I could face legal action.

  Eduardo Saverin : This is from a lawyer Mark, they must feel they have some grounds.

  Mark Zuckerberg : The lawyer is their father's house council!

  Eduardo Saverin : Do they have grounds?

  Mark Zuckerberg : The grounds are our thing is cool and popular and HarvardConnection is lame! Wardo, I didn't use any of their code, I promise. I didn't use anything! Look, a guy who builds a nice chair doesn't owe money to everyone who ever has built a chair, okay? They came to me with an idea, I had a better one.

  Eduardo Saverin : Why didn't you show me this letter?

  Mark Zuckerberg : I didn't think it was a big deal.

  Eduardo Saverin : [sighs before sitting down beside Mark]  Okay, if there's something wrong. If there's ever anything wrong, you can tell me, I'm the guy that wants to help. This is OUR thing. Now, is there ANYTHING that you need to tell me?

  Mark Zuckerberg : [very pointedly]  No.

• Eduardo Saverin : [to Mark, discussing the newspaper article accusing Eduardo of animal cruelty]  This is absurd. I'm being accused of animal cruelty, it's better to be accused of necrophilia.

  Mark Zuckerberg : [sardonically]  It *IS* better to be accused of necrophilia.

• Marylin Delpy : When there's emotional testimony, I assume 85 percent of it is exaggeration.

  Mark Zuckerberg : and the other 15?

  Marylin Delpy : Perjury. Creation myths needs a devil.

• Sean Parker : You know why I started Napster? A girl I loved in high school was with the co-captain of the lacrosse team and I wanted to take her from him so I decided to come up with the next big thing.

  Mark Zuckerberg : I didn't know th...

  Sean Parker : Napster wasn't a failure. I changed the music industry for better and for always. It may not have been good business but it pissed a lot of people off. And wasn't that what Facemash was about? They're scare of me, pal, and they're gonna be scared of you. What the VC's want is to say, 'Good idea, kid. The grown-ups will take it from here.' But not this time. This is OUR time. This time you're gonna hand 'em a business card that says 'I'm CEO... bitch.' That's what I want for you. So where the hell's Eduardo?

  Mark Zuckerberg : He's in New York.

  Sean Parker : Sucking up to ad execs.

  Mark Zuckerberg : He's got an...

  Sean Parker : - an internship? The company's here. A billion dollar company is here. Do you live and breathe Facebook?

  Mark Zuckerberg : Yes.

  Sean Parker : Wardo wants to be a businessman and for all I know he's gonna be a good one but he shouldn't be in New York kissing Madison Avenue's ass. This is a once-in-a-generation-holy-shit idea and the water under the Golden Gate Bridge is freezing cold. Look at my face and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.

  Mark Zuckerberg : [pause]  Do you ever think about the girl?

  Sean Parker : What girl?

  Mark Zuckerberg : The one... the girl in high school who was... with the lacrosse thing.

  Sean Parker : No.

• Mark Zuckerberg : The truth is she has a nice face. I need to do something to take my mind off her. Easy enough, except I need an idea.

• Mark Zuckerberg : [impressed with the meeting with Sean Parker]  Shit!

  Eduardo Saverin : [a moment later, exasperated]  Yeah.