Chris Pontius credited as playing...
Self
- Chris Pontius: [after getting stung by a scorpion] I'm fuckin' pissed!
- Bam Margera: What'd you think was gonna happen?
- Chris Pontius: I mean that had it all. That had danger. It had shit. It had puke. That's what this show's all about.
- Johnny Knoxville: [after pulling a string off Chris's Penis with a helicopter] So much for my aviation career.
- Chris Pontius: So much for my love life.
- Chris Pontius: [as Wil is about to play a trumpet from his butt] We're bringing jazz back to the working man!
- Chris Pontius: Not too many people knew us in our college days but we were wild, we were having wet t-shirts, bitchin' summers, doing body shots,
- [scoffs]
- Chris Pontius: Cornholing, and Johnny Knoxville, the king of spring break!
- Chris Pontius: [after Johnny Knoville wrecks the lattice with the jet-ski] Oh shit. Dad's not gonna like this. That's definitely coming out of my allowance.
- Chris Pontius: A lot of doctors, dentists, I don't really consider them real doctors. They think they're God, you know. Not me.
- [pauses]
- Chris Pontius: Satan.