Paul (2011)
Nick Frost: Clive Gollings
Photos
Quotes
-
Agent Zoil : Pleasure to meet you boys. You did a hell of a job.
Clive Gollings : Thank you, Agent Zoil.
Agent Zoil : Please call me Lorenzo.
Clive Gollings , Graeme Willy : Lorenzo Zoil?
-
Clive Gollings : [Putting the phone to his ear] It's ringing.
Paul : [Out of view] I wouldn't do that if I were you
[Clive and Graham turn around]
Paul : Put... the phone... down!
Clive Gollings : [Falling backwards fainting] Ha ha ha ha ha!
Paul : Aw fuck me.
Graeme Willy : [Looks to his right, then down, and then back at the approching alien] What did you do to him?
Paul : I didn't do anything to him - he fainted!
Graeme Willy : But you made him faint!
Paul : It's not like I set my phaser to faint!
Graeme Willy : You've got a phaser?
-
Graeme Willy : Whats the matter Clive?
Clive Gollings : There is an alien in the kitchen making bagels and coffee.
Graeme Willy : Did you want tea?
Clive Gollings : No, I don't want tea!
Graeme Willy : Right, because tea is weird in America.
-
State Trooper : Where are you boys from?
Clive Gollings : ...England.
State Trooper : I heard about that place: no guns.
Graeme Willy : Not many...
Clive Gollings : No, not really, just... farmers.
State Trooper : Well how are police supposed to shoot anybody?
Graeme Willy : [Uncomfortable] Well they don't...
Clive Gollings : They- they try not to...
[the state trooper stares at them suspiciously]
Gas Station Attendant : [Cash register rings, breaking the suspense] $15.58.
Graeme Willy : Um, twenty, keep the change... give it to charity or something.
[They hastily exit the store]
-
Clive Gollings : They're going to rape us and break our arms!
Graeme Willy : I don't want my arms broken.
-
Clive Gollings : It's not fat, it's power!
-
Haggard : [Looking at Clive's novel] What is this, nerd porn?
Graeme Willy : Oh, no, that's Clive's...
Clive Gollings : It's my novel.
Haggard : [Looking at an alien on the cover] Ha! Three tits!
O'Reilly : That's awesome. You guys should have given her four tits.
Graeme Willy : [Looking disgusted] That's just sick.
O'Reilly : I was just sayin'...
-
Clive Gollings : What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our anus?
Graeme Willy : Well apparently they don't do that.
Paul : [Paul wiggles his finger inside the hole of a bagel] Anyone want one of these? Yeah? Anyone?
-
Graeme Willy : Paul, what happens if you get caught?
Paul : Graeme, they are going to cut out my brain... Yeah it's fucked... kinda a buzz kill... Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive when did you last get laid?
Clive Gollings : Uh. Collectormania London '08... Ewok chick.
Paul : [sings] Clive likes boning space bears!
-
Paul : [about boning an Ewok chick] What was it like?
Clive Gollings : Well... she was 'furry' nice!
-
Clive Gollings : Ever since I saw "Mac and Me", I've dreamed about meeting you!
-
Clive Gollings : Agent Mulder was right!
Paul : Agent Mulder was my idea!
-
Clive Gollings : Get your own Alien!
-
Sword Vendor : That there's the Black Vampire. Watch out! She bites.
Clive Gollings : How much?
Sword Vendor : $1349.99
Graeme Willy : Aren't you going to get it?
Clive Gollings : [Speaking in Klingon] Fuck that.
-
Graeme Willy : What do you think you're gonna dream about?
Clive Gollings : Oh, the open road. High adventure. That kind of thing. You?
Graeme Willy : Wonder Woman.
-
[last lines]
Adam Shadowchild : Please welcome to the stage, Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy. Give it up.
Graeme Willy , Clive Gollings : Three, two, one...
[take stage in front of cheering audience]
-
Clive Gollings : [Speaking Klingon] Graeme... Strike this Woman!
-
Agent Zoil : Who's Adam Shadowchild?
Clive Gollings : He wrote the Jupiter Praxis?
Agent Zoil : What?
Graeme Willy : Jenny Starpepper and the big Space Gibbon?
Agent Zoil : Huh?
Clive Gollings : ...Night of the Moths?
