Angelina Jolie credited as playing...
Evelyn Salt
- Evelyn Salt: What is your name?
- Vassily Orlov: My name is Vassily Orlov. Today, a Russian agent will travel to New York city to kill the President. This agent is KA-12.
- Evelyn Salt: The KA program is a myth.
- Vassily Orlov: Don't you want to know the name?
- Evelyn Salt: You're good. You can tell the rest of your story to one of my colleagues.
- Vassily Orlov: Salt.
- Evelyn Salt: Yes?
- Vassily Orlov: The name of the agent is Evelyn Salt.
- Evelyn Salt: My name is Evelyn Salt.
- Vassily Orlov: Then you are a Russian spy.
- Peabody: Hey. Why'd you kill him?
- Evelyn Salt: Because somebody had to.
- Peabody: [punches her hard]
- Peabody: [to everyone else] What?
- Evelyn Salt: By this, I take it you think everybody is who they say they are.
- Peabody: How many more like you are there?
- Evelyn Salt: Like me? None. Like him? More than you or I can handle alone.
- Ted Winter: At least I was right. I had a feeling we'd lost you back there in North Korea. I could see how moved you were by Mike's little white-knight routine. You were supposed to recruit him, Ev, not fall in love with him. That's why I told Orlov to pick him up. By the way, how is Mike?
- Evelyn Salt: Orlov is dead.
- Ted Winter: Well, that's good news. Saved me the trouble. I had to practically twist his arm to get him blow your cover at the CIA. You see, he wanted you to come out of this alive.
- Evelyn Salt: But you needed somebody to take the blame. I'm the patsy.
- Ted Winter: And I'm the hero. Congratulations, Ev. You're about to become famous.
- Ted Winter: Look, Ev, try to stay calm.
- Evelyn Salt: I'm not a goddamn Russian spy.
- Ted Winter: I didn't say you were. Let's go to my office, we can sort this out.
- Peabody: No, no. We gotta go to a secure location. Now.
- Ted Winter: All right. Doesn't get any more secure than this. Ev? Five minutes.
- Evelyn Salt: Call Protective Services, find Mike.
- Ted Winter: I will.
- Evelyn Salt: This is bullshit.
- Ted Winter: [rattled by underling] "Sir"? Do I look like a "sir" to you?
- Evelyn Salt: From head to toe. I'm surprised he didn't call you "Your Majesty".
- Ted Winter: I like the ring of that. I think I'd prefer "Your Majesty".
- Peabody: If I did believe you, and I'm not saying for a second that I do, but if I did, nobody else would.
- Evelyn Salt: Well, maybe you can think of a way around that.
- [first lines]
- Evelyn Salt: [being dragged out and tied down] Please let me go home. Please, I'm not who you think I am. I'm really not who you think I am. Please. Please, I'm not a spy.
- North Korean Torturer: You are a spy!
- Evelyn Salt: I'm not a spy. Please let me go home.
- North Korean Torturer: Try again.
- Evelyn Salt: I am not a spy! I am a business woman. I work for Rink Petroleum and Gas. Please call them. I work for Rink Petroleum!
- North Korean Torturer: You are here to sabotage our nuclear ambitions. Yes?
- Evelyn Salt: [gasoline funnel being forced into her mouth] I am not a spy! I am not a spy!