The Dark Knight (I) (2008)

Michael Caine: Alfred

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bruce Wayne : [in his high rise apartment]  The bandit, in the forest in Burma, did you catch him?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Yes.

  Bruce Wayne : How?

  Alfred Pennyworth : We burned the forest down.

• Bruce Wayne : [while in the underground bat cave]  Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.

  Alfred Pennyworth : You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.

  Bruce Wayne : Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he's after.

  Alfred Pennyworth : With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that *you* don't fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.

  Bruce Wayne : So why steal them?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

• Alfred Pennyworth : [as they leave the underground bat cave]  I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice...

  Bruce Wayne : [jokingly]  Accomplice? I'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.

• Harvey Dent : Alfred, right?

  Alfred Pennyworth : [during the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent]  That's right, sir.

  Harvey Dent : Yeah, Rachel talks about you all the time. You've known her, her whole life!

  Alfred Pennyworth : Oh, not yet, sir.

  Harvey Dent : Heh heh heh. Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?

  Alfred Pennyworth : [smiles]  Oh, you have no idea.

• Bruce Wayne : [while in the underground bat cave]  People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.

  Bruce Wayne : Well today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you get to say "I told you so."

  Alfred Pennyworth : Today, I don't want to.

  [pauses for several moments] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : But I did bloody tell you.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Will you be wanting the Batpod, sir?

  Bruce Wayne : In the middle of the day, Alfred? Not very subtle.

  Alfred Pennyworth : The Lamborghini, then.

  [with deadpan sarcasm] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : Much more subtle.

• Alfred Pennyworth : [looks at the large gash on Bruce's arm]  Did you get mauled by a tiger?

  Bruce Wayne : [quietly]  It was a dog.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Huh?

  Bruce Wayne : It was a big dog!

  [pause] 

  Bruce Wayne : More copycats last night, Alfred, with guns.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Why don't you hire them and take the weekend off?

• Alfred Pennyworth : [while in the underground bat cave]  Know your limits, Master Wayne.

  Bruce Wayne : Batman has no limits.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Well, you do, sir.

  Bruce Wayne : Well, can't afford to know 'em.

  Alfred Pennyworth : And what happens on the day that you find out?

  Bruce Wayne : Well, we all know how much you love to say "I told you so."

  Alfred Pennyworth : On that day, Master Wayne, even I won't want to. Probably.

• Alfred Pennyworth : I trust you don't have *me* followed on my day off.

  Bruce Wayne : If you ever took one, I might.

• Alfred Pennyworth : You spat in the faces of Gotham's worse criminals. Didn't you think there might be some casualties? Things were always going to get worse before they got better.

• Bruce Wayne : You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?

  Alfred Pennyworth : [looking at all the sunbathing women]  You can tell me the Russian for, "Apply your own bloody suntan lotion."