Happiness (1998)

Dylan Baker: Bill Maplewood

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill : I wake up happy, feeling good... but then I get very depressed, because I'm living in reality.

• [after Bill recalls his dream] 

  Psychiatrist : And how is this different?

  Bill : I don't kill myself at the end.

• Joe : What do you think would happen if I got him a professional... you know...

  Bill : A professional?

  Joe : Hooker. You know, the kind that can teach things... first-timers, you know... break him in.

  Bill : But Joe, he's 11.

  Joe : You're right, you're right. It's too late.

• Bill : I fucked them.

  Billy Maplewood : What was it like?

  Bill : It was... it was great.

  Billy Maplewood : Would you do it again?

  Bill : Yes.

• Billy Maplewood : [sobbing]  ... would you ever fuck me?

  Bill : No... I'd jerk off instead.

  [sobs] 

• Bill : Have you tried playing with yourself?

  Billy Maplewood : You mean...?

  Bill : With your penis?

  Billy Maplewood : A little.

  Bill : How did it feel?

  Billy Maplewood : I don't know? I don't know what to do.

  Bill : Do you want me to, uh... show you?

• Billy Maplewood : Dickwad?

  Bill : Yes, only "come" can be used as a verb as well.

• Bill : What Ronald Farber doesn't know is that it's not length that matters, it's width.

• Trish : Oh, Bill. Please don't get mad at me. I know you hate it when I ask, but... Do you still?

  Bill : Oh.

  Trish : Oh.

  Bill : Yes. Very very much.

  Trish : Oh, Bill, and I do too! I'm sorry I need to keep being reminded, it's just...

  Bill : I know.

  Trish : And we haven't been.

  Bill : I know. And it's my fault.

  Trish : My fault.

• Johnny Grasso : Do you have any tuna salad?

  Bill : Would you like a sandwich?

  Johnny Grasso : Yes please.