Matthew Porretta credited as playing...
Will Scarlet O'Hara
- Little John: Let me introduce you to my best friend: Will Scarlet.
- Scarlet: Scarlet's my middle name. My full name is Will Scarlet O'Hara.
- [pause]
- Scarlet: We're from Georgia.
- King Richard: [taking Prince John's crown] You are no longer worthy to wear this sacred symbol of authority.
- Prince John: Oh, please have mercy on me, brother. It wasn't my fault. I got some really bad advice from Rottingham.
- Blinkin, Ahchoo, Scarlet, Little John, Crowd: [coughs] Bullshit! Bullshit!
- King Richard: Brother, you have surrounded your given name with a foul stench!
- [to the crowd]
- King Richard: From this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Johns!
- [the crowd cheering]
- Prince John: [yelling] NO!
- King Richard: Take him away!
- [the Merry Men began to grabbing Prince John]
- Prince John: No, wait, wait!
- King Richard: Put him in the Tower of London! Make him part of the tour.
- Rabbi Tuckman: I am Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine and moyel extraordinaire.
- Merry Men: 'ello Rabbi!
- Rabbi Tuckman: Hello boys!
- Robin Hood: A moyel. I don't believe I've ever heard of that profession.
- Rabbi Tuckman: A moyel is a very important guy. He makes circumcisions.
- Scarlet: What, pray tell, sir, is a circumcision?
- Rabbi Tuckman: It's the latest craze. The ladies love it!
- Little John: I'll take one!
- Ahchoo: Hey, put me down for two!
- Robin Hood: I'm game. How's it done?
- Rabbi Tuckman: It's a snap.
- [demonstrates with a carrot and a miniature guillotine]
- Rabbi Tuckman: I take my machine here, I take your little thing, I put it through this hole, and then...
- [releases the blade, cutting the end off the carrot]
- Rabbi Tuckman: I nip the tip! Who's first?
- [groans from the Merry Men]
- Little John: I changed me mind!
- Ahchoo: I forgot, I already got one.
- Blinkin: [puts his hand in the air] Question...
- [Ahchoo pulls his arm down silencing him]
- Rabbi Tuckman: I gotta start working with a younger crowd.