Catherine O'Hara: Kate

Home Alone

Kate

Kevin McCallister: [apprehensively] I made my family disappear.
[thinks back to family members saying bad things about him]
Megan McCallister: Kevin, you're completely helpless!
Linnie McCallister: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call "les incompetents".
Buzz McCallister: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff McCallister: Kevin, you are *such* a *disease*!
Kate McCallister: There are fifteen people in this house and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank McCallister: Look what you *did*, you little *jerk*.
Kevin McCallister: [gleefully] I made my family disappear.

Kate McCallister: Heather, did you count heads?
Heather McCallister: Eleven, including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Kevin McCallister: Everyone in this family *hates* me!
Kate McCallister: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
Kevin McCallister: I don't want another family. I don't want any family. Families suck!
Kate McCallister: Just stay up there. I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night.
Kevin McCallister: *I* don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't want to see anybody else either.
Kate McCallister: [softly] I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
Kevin McCallister: No, I wouldn't.
Kate McCallister: Then say it again. Maybe it will happen.
Kevin McCallister: I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!

[Kevin has just caused a scene in the kitchen and Buzz has him in a headlock]
Kate McCallister: Look, stop, stop! What is the matter with you?
Kevin McCallister: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I hate sausage and olives and onions and...
Frank McCallister: [wiping dregs of soda off of his pants] Look what you did, you little jerk!
[the rest of the family stare irately at Kevin]

Kate McCallister: How could we do this? We forgot him.
Peter McCallister: We didn't forget him, we just miscounted.
Kate McCallister: What kind of a mother am I?
Frank McCallister: If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.

Gus Polinski: Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinksi. How are you?
[seeing Kate's blank look]
Gus Polinski: Polka king of the Midwest?
[another blank look]
Gus Polinski: The Kenosha Kickers?
[his bandmates all wave]
Gus Polinski: No? That's okay. I thought you might've recognized... Anyways, uh, I had a few hits a few years ago. Uh, that's why, you know... "Polka, Polka, Polka"?
[singing]
Gus Polinski: Polka, polka, polka. No? Uh, "Twin Lakes Polka". "Yamahoozie Polka", AKA "Kiss Me Polka". "Polka Twist".
Kate McCallister: These are songs?
Gus Polinski: Yeah. Yeah. We... some fairly big hits for us. You know, in the early '70s, you know?
Kate McCallister: Oh.
Gus Polinski: Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.
Kate McCallister: In Chicago?
Gus Polinski: No. Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan. They loved it, you know?
Kate McCallister: I'm sorry. Did you say you could help me?

Kate McCallister: [to the Scranton ticket agent] This is *Christmas*! The season of perpetual hope! And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike! If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.

Kate McCallister: I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.
Gus Polinski: No, you're not. You're beating yourself up over there, you know. This happens. These things happen, you know. Gee... You wanna talk about bad parents, look at us. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks out of the year, we hardly see our families. Joe over there... gosh, you know, he forgets his kids' names half the time. Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid. And Eddie... let's just hope none of them write a book about him.

Kate McCallister: Have you ever gone on vacation and left your child home?
Gus Polinski: No, no. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once.
[Off Kate's look]
Gus Polinski: Yeah, it was awful. The wife was distraught and we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor all day. All day. You know, we went back at night and apparently he had been alone all day with the corpse. He was okay though, after two, three weeks he came around and started talking again...
Kate McCallister: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this.
Gus Polinski: Well, you brought it up.
Kate McCallister: I'm sorry I did.

Kate McCallister: [about Kevin] He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun.
Peter McCallister: Didn't we talk about that?
Kevin McCallister: Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I was making ornaments out of fish hooks.
Peter McCallister: My NEW fish hooks?
Kevin McCallister: I can't make ornaments out of the old ones, with dry worm guts stuck on them.

Kevin McCallister: Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I?
Kate McCallister: Kevin, I'm on the phone.
Kevin McCallister: It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk.
Kate McCallister: Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad.

Kate McCallister: [while on the phone, Kevin jumps onto the bed] No, we're not bringing the dog. We took him to the kennel... Hey, hey! Get off. Kevin, out of the room!
Kevin McCallister: Hang up the phone and make me, why don't you?

Kate McCallister: There are 15 people in this house, you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Kevin McCallister: I'm the only one getting dumped on.
Kate McCallister: You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs.
Kevin McCallister: I *am* upstairs, dummy.

[Kate is trying to get a ticket to go to Dallas, Ed is trying to board the plane]
Man in Airport: Come on, Irene, they're boarding.
Woman in Airport: This girl is offering us our first class ticket... if we go Friday plus a ring, a watch, a pocket translater, five hundered dollars and...
Kate McCallister: The earrings, you love the earrings?
Man in Airport: She's got her own earrings, a whole show box full of them dangly ones.

Peter McCallister: Honey, the pizza boy need $122 dollars plus tip.
Kate McCallister: For pizza?
Peter McCallister: Ten pizzas times twelve bucks!
Leslie McCallister: Frank, you've got money don't you?
Frank McCallister: Traveler's checks.
Kate McCallister: Forget it, Frank. We have cash.
Peter McCallister: You probably have the kind of traveler's checks that don't work in France.