- Oliver Rose: I think you owe me a solid reason. I worked my ass off for you and the kids to have a nice life and you owe me a reason that makes sense. I want to hear it.
- Barbara Rose: Because. When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.
- Gavin: There are two dilemmas... that rattle the human skull. How do you hold onto someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?
- Oliver Rose: You have sunk below the deepest layer of prehistoric frog shit at the bottom of a New Jersey scum swamp.
- Oliver Rose: You weren't even multiorgasmic before you met me, were you?
- Barbara Rose: You really expect me to keep on reassuring you sexually even now when we disgust each other?
- Oliver Rose: [Oliver and Barbara pass each other on the stairs] Stinking bitch!
- Barbara Rose: Dumb bastard!
- Oliver Rose: Slut!
- Barbara Rose: Scum!
- Oliver Rose: Filth!
- Barbara Rose: Faggot!
- [Passes Susan the maid]
- Barbara Rose: Morning Susan.
- Oliver Rose: [just got in the chandelier which pulled him of the balcony] I think I can swing this over to the balcony.
- Barbara Rose: Stop it! Stop it! stop it!
- Barbara Rose: I loosened the bolt, I was gonna drop it on you.
- Oliver Rose: Oooh. That's a good one.
- Gavin: My father used to say there are four things that tell the world who a man is: his house, his car, his wife and his shoes.
- [Oliver Rose lies in agony, after having his penis bitten severely by Barbara Rose]
- Barbara Rose: Was it as good for you as it was for me?
- [Oliver Rose pees on the fish Barbara Rose had prepared for the guests]
- Barbara Rose: I would never humiliate you like this!
- Oliver Rose: You're not equipped to, honey.
- [Finding out that they are going to get a divorce]
- Oliver Rose: And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer!
- Barbara Rose: Best your money can buy!
- Gavin: Oliver, my father used to say that a man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love and revenge.
- Mr. Fisk: [Speaking to the other guests after seeing Oliver urinating on the stove] A family tiff seems to be developing. I don't know if we should leave, but I definitely advise skipping the fish course.
- Gavin: At 15 I became an evolutionist; and it all became clear. We came from mud. And after 3.8 billion years of evolution, at our core is still mud. Nobody can be a divorce lawyer and doubt that.
- Oliver Rose: Wh... why do you want a divorce? I mean... did l do something? Did l... did l *not* do something?
- Barbara Rose: l can't give you specifics, Oliver.
- Oliver Rose: Well, try!
- Barbara Rose: I don't *want* to try!
- Oliver Rose: ls there somebody else? Another man?
- Barbara Rose: No.
- Oliver Rose: A woman?
- Barbara Rose: You wish.
- Barbara Rose: [after learning that Oliver is moving back into the home] This is the stupidest thing you've ever done!
- Oliver Rose: Second stupidest.
- Barbara Rose: [after making love to Oliver, several times, upon their very first meeting] If we end up together, then this is the most romantic evening of my life. And if we don't, then I'm the world's biggest slut.
- Barbara Rose: Get out of the car, honey!
- Oliver Rose: You're gonna have to kill me.
- Barbara Rose: I mean it, Oliver.
- Oliver Rose: You don't have *guts*! C'mon!
- Barbara Rose: Besides money...
- [Barbara kicks off one of her heels and puts her foot in Gavin's crotch]
- Barbara Rose: what would it take to get you to help me, Gavin?
- Gavin: Come on, put your shoes on, Barbara. I haven't been into feet since '82.
- Oliver Rose: What the hell is wrong with you?
- Gavin: [cut to interior of Gavin's office] If you're with a woman for any length of time, eventually you'll ask her that question.
- Oliver Rose: Nobody that makes pate this good can be all bad.
- Barbara Rose: That depends... on what the pate is made of.
- Barbara Rose: [pauses] Woof.
- [first lines]
- Gavin: [Gavin is talking to a client] You have some valid reasons for wanting a divorce.
- [blows his nose with a handkerchief]
- Gavin: Excuse me. My sinuses are very sensitive to irritants.
- [sprays nasal decongestant up his nostrils]
- Gavin: In the past five months, I think I've breathed freely with both sides working maybe a week total.
- [pulls a cigarette out of a pack]
- Gavin: I gotta cut this out. It's gonna kill me.
- [lights his cigarette]
- Gavin: I hadn't smoked for thirteen years. I kept the last cigarette from my last pack. I said if I never smoked this one cigarette I'll never smoke again, period. Thirteen years I kept that cigarette.
- [fetches a plastic case out of a drawer]
- Gavin: I had this little case made for it.
- [opens it and shows it to him]
- Gavin: Thirteen years. And then, one Thursday afternoon, Barbara came to see me. And when she left...
- Oliver Rose: [mistakenly almost hits Susan with the thrown chair] Oh, I'm sorry, Susan. I thought you are Barbara.
- Gavin: My father used to say there are four things that tell the world what a man is - his house, his car, his wife and his shoes.
- Oliver Rose: Barbara, Susan is here. She wants to know if you are all right.
- Barbara Rose: Never felt better.
- Oliver Rose: [opens the door for Susan] Thank you for dropping by, Susan.
- Susan: Will you go outside with me, Mr.Rose?
- Oliver Rose: Let's go.
- [pauses]
- Oliver Rose: Wait a minute, I forgot something.
- Susan: What?
- Oliver Rose: Barbara!
- [shuts the door in front of her nose]
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