Neil Innes: First Monk, Singing Minstrel, Page Crushed by the Rabbit, Peasant #4
Quotes
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Minstrel : [singing] He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin His head smashed in and his heart cut out And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off And his penis...
Sir Robin : That's enough music for now, lads.
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Minstrel : [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away...
Sir Robin : No!
Minstrel : [singing] bravely ran away away...
Sir Robin : I didn't!
Minstrel : [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Sir Robin : I never did!
Minstrel : [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.
Sir Robin : Oh, you liars!
Minstrel : [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.
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Minstrel : [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin : That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.
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Minstrel : [singing] He is packing it in and packing it up And sneaking away and buggering off And chickening out and pissing off home, Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.
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Left Head : Halt! Who art thou?
Minstrel : [sings] He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who...
Sir Robin : Shut up! Nobody really, just passing through.
Left Head : What do you want?
Minstrel : [sings] To fight and...
Sir Robin : Shut up! Uh, n-n-nothing, really. J-j-just passing, uhm, just passing through.
