Slim Pickens: Maj. 'King' Kong
Photos
Quotes
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do.
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today's codes?
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : I don't give a hoot in Hell how you do it, you just get me to the Primary, ya hear!
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Well, shoot! We ain't come this far just to dump this thing in the drink. What's the nearest target opportunity?
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Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Hey, what about Major Kong?
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Wahoo! Waawaahaa! Wawahoo!
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Goldie, how many times have I told you guys that I don't want no horsing around on the airplane?
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : Stay on the bomb run, boys! I'm gonna get them doors open if it harelips ever'body on Bear Creek!
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : [on the final bomb run] All set. Check bomb door circuits one through four.
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : [as he flips each switch] Uh... bomb door circuits negative function. The lights are all red.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Switch into backup circuits.
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Backup circuits are switched on. Still negative function.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Engage emergency power.
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Emergency power is on. Still negative, sir.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Operate manual override.
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Roger.
[there is a pause as Zogg begins turning a small wheel device on the panel, but the 'closed' bomb door lights continue to flash]
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Manuel override negative function. I think the cable link to the override must be sheared away.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : [getting frustrated] Fire the explosive bolts!
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Roger...
[Zogg flips the switch many times, lifts the cover of a switch protector and flips its switch many times for the explosive bolts to blow the bomb doors open, but the 'closed' light continues to blink]
Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Negative, sir. The operating circuits are dead, sir.
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Lieutenant Lothar Zogg : Major Kong, is it possible this is some kind of loyalty test, you know, give the go-code and, then, recall, to see who would actually go?
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Ain't nobody ever got the go-code yet. And ol' Ripper wouldn't given us Plan R unless them Russkies had already clobbered Washington and a lot of other towns with a sneak attack.
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Major T. J. "King" Kong : There will be some important promotions and citations when we come through this. That goes for every last one of you, regardless of your race, your color, or your creed!
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Navigator : Sir, if we continue to lose fuel at the present rate, I estimate we only have thirty-eight minutes flying time which will not even take us as far as the primary.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Dogonnit, Sweets, you told me that you'd get me to the primary!
Navigator : I'm sorry, sir. That estimate was based on the original loss rate factor, not at two zero five.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : I don't give a hoot in hell how you do it, you just get me to the primary, you hear?
Navigator : I'm sorry sir, but those are the figures. We'll be luck to reach weather ship at tango delta.
Major T. J. "King" Kong : Well... shoot. We ain't come this far just to dump this thing in the drink.
