Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Josephine Hull: Abby Brewster
Photos
Quotes
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Reverend Harper : Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
Abby Brewster : Oh, no.
Martha Brewster : Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
Abby Brewster : Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington, it might be a change for him, and we suggested it.
Martha Brewster : And do you know what happened? He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody.
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Mortimer Brewster : I saw a play last week, it had a character in it, reminded me of Jonathon.
Abby Brewster : Oh, really?
Mortimer Brewster : Yeah, a honey of a lunatic. One of those whodunits called "Murder Will Out".
Abby Brewster : Oh, dear!
Mortimer Brewster : Yeah, what a play. When the curtain goes up the first thing you see is a dead body. The next thing...
[opens the window seat and finds a dead body]
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Mortimer Brewster : Aunt Abby, how can I believe you? There are twelve men down in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them.
Aunt Abby Brewster : Yes, I did. But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib.
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Mortimer Brewster : Look, Aunt Martha, men don't just get into window seats and die!
Abby Brewster : We know, dear. He died first.
Mortimer Brewster : Wait a minute! Stop all this. Now, look, darling, how did he die?
Abby Brewster : Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.
Mortimer Brewster : How did the poison get in the wine?
Martha Brewster : Well, we put it in wine, because it's less noticeable. When it's in tea, it has a distinct odor.
Mortimer Brewster : You mean, you... You put it in the wine!
Abby Brewster : Yes. And I put Mr. Hoskins in the window seat, because Reverend Harper was coming.
Mortimer Brewster : Now, look at me, darling. You mean, you mean you knew what you'd done and you didn't want the Reverend Harper to see the body?
Abby Brewster : Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice.
Mortimer Brewster : Oh, it's first-degree.
Abby Brewster : Now, Mortimer, you know all about it and just forget about it. I do think that Aunt Martha and I have the right to our own little secrets.
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Mortimer Brewster : But there's a body in the window seat!
Aunt Abby : Yes, dear, we know.
Mortimer Brewster : You know?
Martha Brewster : Of course!
Aunt Abby : Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy. Now, Mortimer, you just forget about it. Forget you ever saw the gentleman.
Mortimer Brewster : Forget?
Aunt Abby : We never dreamed you'd peek.
Mortimer Brewster : What the...?
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Martha Brewster : [about the men they have poisoned] Let me see, now. This is eleven, isn't it, Abby?
Abby Brewster : Oh, no, dear. This makes twelve.
Martha Brewster : Abby, dear. I think you're wrong. This one is only eleven.
Abby Brewster : No, dear, because I remember when Mr. Hoskins first came in, it occurred to me that he'd make just an even dozen.
Martha Brewster : But, Abby, dear. I really don't think you should count the first one.
Abby Brewster : Oh, I was counting the first one, and that makes it twelve.
Martha Brewster : It does? Well, she's probably right. Abby usually is. I get them mixed up sometimes.
Mortimer Brewster : Makes it twelve? Twelve.
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Teddy Brewster : [His first line] I must be catching cold.
Abby Brewster : No, dear, it was Reverend Harper who sneezed.
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Aunt Abby Brewster : Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me. Do you remember how he used to cut worms in two with his teeth?
Mortimer Brewster : Oh, Jonathan? He's probably in prison or hanged or something by now.
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Mortimer Brewster : Now look, darling, how did he die?
Abby Brewster : Oh, Mortimer, don't be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.
Mortimer Brewster : Well, how did the poison get in the wine?
Martha Brewster : Well, we put in wine because it's less noticeable. When it's in tea it has a distinct odor.
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Mortimer Brewster : You didn't want the reverend to see the body?
Aunt Abby : Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice.
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Aunt Abby : [to Mortimer] Now, Mortimer, you behave. You're too old to be flying off the handle like this!
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Teddy Brewster : [after charging up the stairs] Charge the blockhouse!
Reverend Harper : Blockhouse?
Aunt Abby : Yes. The stairs are always San Juan Hill.
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Abby Brewster : [to Mortimer about the body in the window seat] Who can that be?
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Mortimer Brewster : Mortimer Brewster: "Aunt Abbey, how can I believe you? There are 12 men in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them!"
Abby Brewster : Abbey Brewster: "Yes, I did, but you don't think I would stoop to telling a fib!"