mister_bateman Reviews

Revenge Girl (2017)

What an absolutely ridiculous and stupid movie

[1/10 · 16 January 2021]

The main protagonist, a narcissistic, self-absorbed c-word of a woman decides to take revenge on her equally a-holish supposed boyfriend after finding out he is a casanova. Because he is from a rich dynasty, the only way to get back at him is to become prime minister which she proceeds to do. Not only is the story completely retarded, she isn't a likeable character at all, so you basically just wish for her to get hit by a truck and the movie to be over.

My Sassy Girl (2001)

A guy letting himself get slapped around and humiliated by a chick is supposedly romantic

[5/10 · 14 January 2021]

This movie must have been written by a sexual deviant with self esteem issues and some kind of domination fetish. It even starts out with the main protagonist casually mentioning that his parents used to raise him as a girl until he was seven and reaches its peak with him switching shoes with her and wearing her heels in a crowded park because her feet hurt. In between we get various scenes of him letting himself get slapped around, abused and degraded by this crazy chick. It's all supposed to be funny, charming and cute (and sometimes it actually is) but ultimately this movie is about an effeminate beta male being a total doormat for a girl because she is pretty - but unlike in real life, he actually wins her heart.

Sweet Rain: Accuracy of Death (2008)

Slightly surreal but interesting

[7/10 · 12 January 2021]

The movie is beautifully shot, well acted and has a great classical soundtrack. It has that 90's Hollywood warmth to it, the grainy camera, the music. Like a Steven King film or Home Alone. The main character and his motives however don't make much sense and from the very first scene on I had question marks popping up in the rational side of my brain. But weirdly enough it is still very entertaining and nice to watch and the story has a certain poetry to it. A cozy movie for a rainy night.

Oto-na-ri (2009)

A warm and delicate little romance movie

[8/10 · 10 January 2021]

I love Japanese movies. They are the last bastion of wholesomeness and normalcy in a rotten world. Their stories are genuine and meaningful and always have a certain poetry to them. This one is about a photographer and a florist who live next door to each other and due to the walls being so thin developing quite some familiarity without ever actually talking. They are both in their thirties and still single, distracting themselves with their careers. But I won't spoil much more. All I can say I enjoyed it very much, especially the second half.

The First Supper (2019)

A thoughtful family movie

[7/10 · 9 January 2021]

A well acted, thoughtful and heartfelt movie about a patchwork family catching up on their past at the father's wake. We find the children rediscovering forgotten memories and discovering a hidden secret about how the parents met each other as they are confronted with questions and thoughts about family, blood ties, loyalty and marriage. It's a little slow paced but I enjoyed it. Thank you Japan for still telling genuine stories and providing an escape from the insanity of western film.

#HandoZenryoku (2020)

The highs and lows of social media

[6/10 · 8 January 2021]

When you set aside the absolute havoc that social media has wreaked on the actual social skills of an entire generation, it's incorporated pretty well into this movie about a group of high school boys who are trying to re-popularize their school's handball team by posting cool handball images online using their smartphones. It's a light comedy-drama with some funny moments and it does somewhat critique the emptiness of doing things just for likes from strangers on the internet. There isn't too much going on storywise however and the characters aren't all too interesting and memorable either so I would say it's an okay watch, but you probably won't watch it a second time.

Missing 411 (2016)

All over the place and not really Missing 411

[3/10 · 6 January 2021]

I agree with all the criticism of the previous reviews. The direction is all over the place, it focusses way too much on this one family and keeps going back to them instead of showing more cases, and also the mysteriousness which makes Missing 411 so intriguing is lost here to a large degree. The one from 2019 is a lot better.

The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch (2020– )

Typical American TV - Hot garbage

[3/10 · 4 January 2021]

The topic itself is pretty intriguing, but the presentation of it within this show combines every single negative cliché of American "reality" TV. In other words it comes across as if it's made for complete idiots with the attention span of a squirrel. After every single small scene you get one of the protagonists talking to the camera interview style, recapping the very scene you just saw. And of course everything is overdramatized. Which makes you trust the authenticity of the phenomena they are supposedly witnessing even less. Also, it's a bit ridiculous that they are claiming to want to get to the truth, yet they have ties to the government, the "intelligence community" and NASA, the very organisation that probably knows what's going on and has its roots in satanic rituals and the occult (Jack Parsons, Aleister Crowley and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory).

Hospitality Department (2013)

Cheerful movie

[6/10 · 1 January 2021]

It's a nice and cozy movie for a relaxed evening. A little bit of tourism marketing action, a little bit of romance. Just a slice of life from a Japanese town.

We Love (2018)

Really bad

[4/10 · 1 January 2021]

This is one of those "boy is mean to girl because he secretly likes her" stories, only he really treats her like trash and she has such low self esteem that she remains liking him back and putting up with all the abuse. There are are few cute moments here and there but mostly it's annoying to watch because the guy isn't too likeable and the girl is just so over the top shy, she basically acts like a beaten dog.

Harufuwei (2009)

A mellow romance movie

[5/10 · 27 December 2020]

As others have already noted, this one is a little slow paced. Also, there isn't really much of a coherent story, intriguing plot development, or big character arc, it's more like a collage of random scenes, snapshots from the lives of the protagonists as they start dating and getting to know each other. I guess it's a nice and cozy watch, but you have to be in the mood for it, or you might get a little bored, like I did. The two biggest aspects I didn't like about it were the characters aren't particularly interesting, and they overdid it a bit with the shaky camera.

The Golden Holiday (2020)

Annoying more than anything

[5/10 · 25 December 2020]

The biggest problem with this movie is that it has those typical Korean characters. They are all corrupt, materialistic, money-hungry, selfish, backstabbing a-holes. But with no redeeming qualities, so none of them are likeable. The main character is an incompetent idiot as well. The movie tries to be funny that way, but it's just annoying instead, because you don't sympathize with the protagonists. The story revolves around a treasure hunt in the Philippines. Sounds great but it's actually quite lackluster and uninteresting.

Accident Man (2018)

Top tier b-action comedy

[7/10 · 25 December 2020]

This movie doesn't take itself very seriously, which is mainly what makes it funny. The plot, the characters, the action, the dialogue, it's all totally ridiculous and over the top. Acting wise it fluctuates between bad and pretty good. Especially Ray Stevenson does a great job. The only thing that irritated me was that (of course) they had to have a strong ass-kicking female character and they even made her the strongest opponent. Otherwise I found it very entertaining and I had a few good laughs.

Hercules and the Amazon Women (1994 TV Movie)

Hercules vs. the feminists

[7/10 · 23 December 2020]

I rewatched this after remembering it from my childhood and I loved it. Hercules and Iolaus are total bosses, strolling through the world without a single care, kicking asses, men admiring them and women falling for them. Usually I despise the strong powerful female garbage they cram into every modern movie, but back then this was at least portrayed as a ridiculous caricature in the form of the Amazons. The movie basically preaches a positive message of unity between the sexes, instead of division.

Whistle Blower (2014)

Decent thriller

[6/10 · 20 December 2020]

The nature and magnitude of the medical scam in this movie makes it a little hard to believe that the doctor managed to get so far with it and become this rich and famous. I also found it funny that journalists are portrayed as idealistic, unbiased fighters for truth who have freedom to investigate and actually do so, when in today's reality they are nothing but mouthpieces for their oligarch owners. But that aside it's a decent, well acted, well directed thriller with a good message that highlights corruption, greed, media manipulation and the importance of standing up against power and doing what is right, regardless of the consequences. It's all little too long though.

Kyoto Story (2010)

Comfy movie

[7/10 · 18 December 2020]

There isn't much excitement or suspense in this film, it's pretty mellow. But it's a sweet story about love, family and legacy. About the existential question whether to break out or step into your parents' footsteps to keep the family business alive. It's also just nice to watch a civilization that still has its identity, culture and a semblance of community left, even in a bigger city such as Kyoto. There are still multigenerational households and small businesses and people know one another and interact like one big extended family. This no longer exists in the dying West, which has been totally ripped to shreds by multiculturalism and globalism.

A Boy and His Samurai (2010)

Unintentionally depressing

[7/10 · 16 December 2020]

This is supposed to be a light comedy, however I couldn't help but feel a little depressed watching this dignified samurai being exposed to this degenerated modern world filled with mannerless people, noise, pollution, single mothers and feminism. When he is slowly starting to adapt and getting used to its amenities and "customs", it just felt humiliating to see him submit to it all. Perhaps one could interpret the movie as a critique, the contrast is supposed to highlight how far society has fallen, but still....if I were from the 18th century and woke up in one of today's cities, I'd surely kill myself.

Midway (2019)

Decent war movie, less biased than usual

[7/10 · 14 December 2020]

It's a little hard to watch when you know that the US leadership knew about the Pearl Harbor attacks because they literally provoked Japan into it by imposing an oil embargo, all in order to use this as an excuse to bring America into WW2. That aside it was fairly entertaining except for some mediocre CGI scenes at the beginning and a little too much cliché American bubble gum chewing. It's already refreshing to see a war movie where the axis powers aren't totally demonized. I liked that the soldiers on both sides were portrayed as brave, but also the contrast between them, but with the Japanese displaying a lot more decorum and seriousness.

I also highly recommend the Japanese movie "The Eternal Zero / The Fighter Pilot (2013)", which in my opinion was better.

Ace Attorney (2012)

Didn't do it for me

[5/10 · 12 December 2020]

Maybe for fans of the source material this movie is decent. But as someone who is not familiar with it and who therefore can only judge the movie on its own, it's pretty bad. While technically it is well made, the characters are just too goofy to look at and be taken seriously, they are not introduced well so you don't know what their deal is and the story is boring as hell.

Ai to makoto (2012)

Garbage

[4/10 · 11 December 2020]

Musical movies are cringe by default so that's the first problem. This one is not the worst though, since the musical scenes at least seem somewhat "ironic". Still, the story is uninteresting and shallow. In other words it's bad and boring.

Hazard (2005)

Garbage

[3/10 · 11 December 2020]

If this movie is supposed to be an accurate depiction of the multicultural cesspit that is New York, the famous and often romanticized "melting pot", filled with degenerates and scum of all shapes and colors (but all of them acting "black") - it's a total success. But that doesn't make it watchable or entertaining. It's garbage. 90 minutes of visual chaos with too much shaky camera and not a single likeable character.

Yaku san-jû no uso (2004)

Boring

[4/10 · 10 December 2020]

The movie is not bad technically and I love movies that are set on trains, but this one I just found boring. It's pretty much just people talking on a train.

Yell for the Blue Sky (2016)

Boring

[5/10 · 9 December 2020]

I didn't like the main girl or find her interesting, which kept me from getting invested from the start. A little shyness is cute, but she acts meek and timid like a beaten dog, which got annoying really quickly. On top of that she is pretty mediocre looking and has the hairstyle of a middle aged mom. The male character is a nice guy, but the two just don't really fit together or have much chemistry. The whole story lacks depth, suspense and intrigue. There is way too much boring girl drama. It could have been told in 45 minutes, but instead it drags out for two hours. Bottom line: Boring.

Life Back Then (2011)

A heartfelt story about alienation, death and new beginnings

[7/10 · 8 December 2020]

The movie is a little bit sad and depressing but it's also a sweet romance about two broken people finding each other and giving each other a reason to leave behind their pasts and move on to a new life together.

Tenet (2020)

A wannabe Bond film with a stupid story and Diversity™

[1/10 · 6 December 2020]

When you strip away all the fake complexity this movie is artificially inflated with in order to make it seem intelligent, its story is completely stupid, meaningless and uninteresting. The main protagonist is the ugliest creature I have ever seen and he clearly wasn't picked for his acting skills. The dialogues are wooden, lifeless and uninspired. The action scenes are all contrived and dumb. The characters are boring and one-dimensional and half of them are diversity hires that aren't believable in their roles in the slightest.

This movie is trash with a glossy finish.