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Scream (2022)
How this has more than 4 stars is beyond me
What a lazy script, I'm not gonna go too in depth with this review as its just a sad excuse of a "sequel" to the movies we loved.
The killers are predictable, me and my friend literally called out who one of the killers are in the trailer which says a lot about what to expect from this movie, you just know.
There is no shortage of final girls and magical survivors, so many people survive some of the most gruesome attacks and I have no idea why, it felt like there was no stakes.
Speaking of "stakes" whats really annoying is that hospital scene.
I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about, a small teenage girl overpowering Dewey after being shot in the chest multiple times (yes she had a bullet proof vest but she'd be rolling and crying on the ground if she got hit that many times irl) it made me wanna shut the movie off, you cannot unceremoniously kill off a legacy character just to act like this movie has stakes only to have these stupid new invincible characters take his place
I will not be watching another scream if the leading actress isn't Jenna Ortega or someone with some acting skill, kill the last one off immediately Cotton style I do not care about that character whatsoever, for that matter I really didn't like most of them but any can beat that lame character.
Better yet stop making Scream movies at all if this is how you're gonna butcher them, cannot believe how brainless this movie was.
V/H/S/94 (2021)
"We are the final girls"
If you watched the movie you know what the cringe title is talking about, I mean idk where to even start on this movie, it truly let me down as I loved vhs 1 and 2, viral was meh but its a 10 compared to this joke of a movie, granted I enjoyed the face melting and the design of "Ratman" from the first segment, that might've been the only part I was somewhat interested in, even then it was really short and left me wanting more.
However the second segment was completely boring, just took way to long trying to build up suspense and when the horror actually kicks off its lackluster and ends in about 2 minutes, with that being said it beats the whole "swat team" story that we follow for a total of 1 minute between tapes, it makes no sense and ends in the stupidest way imaginable, whoever wrote those parts should be ashamed and thats all I have to say for the swat "story"
With all that being said the 3rd segment was really long, it wasn't bad but it really didn't entertain me, might've had been due to the frustration I was experiencing with the movie so far I was hoping things would pick up and they did in some sense, this part really didn't feel like horror but an action thriller with mediocre effects, in the end I'm not sure how the sword monster was so easily thwarted but I guess this movie really does like its "final girls"
and now for the 4th segment, well idk how else to say it but it was just weird, I like the idea of using vampire blood as a weapon but I'm not really sure on how they planned on using it to blow buildings up, were they going to cover the building with it? Or inject themselves and blow it up like terrorists? Idk and well that doesn't really matter anyways as these guys are completely incompetent and never make it to that point, and as you'd imagine things go bad for them, the ending was dumb though, the vampire escapes only to kill himself at the end for whatever reason.
I'd rather VHS die off if it means no more uninteresting movies with this title, which is sad to say because I enjoyed the last titles and was excited going into this movie.
Triangle (2009)
You're rewatching the same thing over and over again.
The movie started out alright, was intense lost at sea vibes with some interesting characters, however when you start getting into the middle of the movie you might start to get extremely bored like I did, the main character makes no sense as she keeps repeating herself over and over again and most the movie focuses on this, which wouldn't be be a bad idea if they executed it well, they didn't, you watch the main character make the same mistakes multiple times and never learn from them, not often are movies so boring and irritating like this movie was for me, I was hoping she'd break the cycle in the finale but she does not and continues it again, if you like watching the same 15-20 minutes repeat itself with little changes you'll love this dull movie.