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Reviews
Voyagers (2021)
I deserve a medal
I sure deserve a medal for getting to the end of this boring, predictible piece of rubbish. I don't think Golding would be too happy about the comparisons being made.
Earthtastrophe (2016)
The bin bags were the best part
Absolutely pathetic movie, although it made me laugh/cringe a few times.
For me, the way they knotted black bin bags to car door-handles, bannisters. Etc. Was truly the best feature. Those windows with the destruction drawn in with a sharpie were also classic!
Apart from that, it was just laughavle and pathetic. No saving graces, at all.
Infinite (2021)
Pile of steaming manure
I tried, oh how I tried! But after three attempts at watching this and waking up half-way through, I decided to just continue from the wake-up point. Unfortunately, I couldn't believe what a load of jobbies I was watching and gave up near the end. It is just a bunch of (IMO) badly-made CGI, and when that bomb-thing fell out the plane and the two twats were fighting in mid-air, it got beyond ridiculous. I won't give away any more, and I won't watch any more. It's just too bloody awful!
Greenland (2020)
OK for strreaming at 6 am
I gave this fim 7/10, mainly because it was free with Prime and it was six in the morning but I watched it all the way through.
Fact is, it was a re-hash of many disaster movies, without any real didaster happening -- we had to watch lights in the sky and imagine the terrible consequences. There was the odd bit of fire, and lots of panic, and some near-pathos. I didn't have a tear in my eye, though.
To sum up, it was like watching "Titanic" remade without any water, or The Muppets without any Muppets.
Soldiers of the Damned (2015)
The Blair Witch Reich Jobby
I watched it to the end, hence the two- and not one-star rating.
It wasn't easy, as the story made little sense and most of the action was abysmal, especially the SS ponce and the scientist lady, both of whom were like refugees from A Clockwork Orange.
The gory bits were well done, but had little effect since the story made no real sense. The best actors were the trees in the wood (not very foresty, and always filmed in broad daylight to avoid expensive candles.)
Still, some people seemed to like it. If I ever see this again, it will be a hundred years too soon.
Den of Thieves (2018)
Goodies or baddies?
Which guys were the goodies and which were the baddies? I really couldn't tell the difference till near the end of the film, when most of them were dead.
I enjoyed the movie (7), but I was pretty confused a lot of the time. And the ending didn't help, either! I had to read up on what had actually happened.
At least I stayed awake all the way through, which doesn't happen with many films these days.
Ocean's Eight (2018)
Space Cowboys for old actresses
Thanks to an Amazon Prime quirk, I was unable to watch this movie at high resolution. Even so, the ugliness of the old hags was more than apparent, and even though Bullock didn't (for once!) chew gum like a moron, she was more hacket than Quentin Tara-what's-his-face. Now that I think about it, she probably didn't masticate in case her makeup cracked.
So Clint Eastwood and other pensioners made Space Cowboys, and this lot of crones made this, and we all shivered at the ageing process. I hope they only charged half-price at the cinema!
As for the plot, meh!