CubsandCulture Reviews

Steam Room Stories: The Movie! (2019)

A gay old time in every sense of the phrase.

[8/10 · 28 October 2022]

This is a silly and campy film. It is more or less a series of sketches connected by the thinnest of plots. The sketches vary in quality-the bake sale sequence is better than the wet undies contest by way of example-but the film is always amusing or sweet. The guys are all hunky; they give good enough performances. The direction is competent. This is a low budget film intended for a niche audience. It generally works but given the lack of light fare and silly films for gay men sometimes we have to take what we can get.

In the end the film has enough self-awareness to make its budgetary and narrative shortcomings go down smoothly. I think this lacks appeal for general audiences. That it fills space very few films try to tackle is its selling point.

Spaceballs (1987)

Every bit the classic as the films it spoofs.

[10/10 · 26 October 2022]

Growing up this was one of my favorite comedies. I hadn't seen it in years until a few days ago when I watched it on a lark. It still holds up fairly well. It is a little too broad, and some of the parodies are too obvious. But it is a very funny film. The cast has great chemistry; the formal elements of filmmaking are surprisingly polished. (I would argue the effects work is better here than in the prequel trilogy). It is a very entertaining 90 minutes or so.

The feature I like best is just how goofy the film is. Nowadays a lot of films-even comedies-are dour and too branded. There is a great libertine quality to this film; as if it largely exists to amuse its makers. Despite being a work of parody that references such diverse films as the planet of apes, it happened one night and alien it is self-contained and complete.

This is not peak Brooks but it great for what it is:. A comedy that cares about yuks.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

A good show that I hope develops into a great one

[9/10 · 23 October 2022]

The writers and/or Amazon are fairly risk adverse; the show is too closely modelled on early Game of Thrones and they feel the need inject all the major elements from LOTR proper for the more causal fans. (i.e., the balrog, the likely identity of the stranger). This often leads to basic plotting and characterization. The storyline engages but it is a bit rote. I also think the writers could have stuck closer to Tolkien's intent but they clearly prioritized linking up to the Jackson's films. And I think the show *does* do that well. The show on the page is merely competent as a piece of fantasy. I hope they bring in some new writers in the future to punch up the script. That said the big reveal of where Sauron was really worked for me.

The show ends up being better than its scripts because pretty much every other aspect of filmmaking is so good. The production values are great and the direction is strong enough to transport the viewer into Middle Earth. I really like the cast-I especially like the blokes who play Elrond and Durin IV. It is a shame that bunch of reactionaries have drowned out sincere criticism because of the cast.

I will be watching the second season. I hope the writers take more risks.

The Choice (I) (2016)

A lightweight melodrama but it flirts with being something more.

[6/10 · 13 October 2022]

This is a typical Sparks film. It has the hallmarks, for a good and for ill, of his brand. The leads are appealing and have good chemistry. There's a couple of cute moments. It is aggressively traditional and heterosexual. It is a predictable. Like the other Sparks films it is escapism and that's fine. The costal town is shot well and the film is tasty cinematic junk food. But twice the film flirts with being deeper than the average romantic melodrama.

First both leads end up scuttling prior relationships to get together; there is a sequence that could have been more intense but it was just included for color. Nothing comes of the infidelity. Second, the ending is happy-everything works out by the will of God. There's a more potent human story that has the tragic ending.

Horns (2013)

Harry Potter as a persecuted demon boy? *chef's kiss* no notes

[8/10 · 3 October 2022]

The script could have used another pass and I think the director could have gotten more out the concept but I was entertained and engaged throughout this film. It is quite odd-it's a blend of a fantasia and noir-detective story where a guy grows horns and then figures out who killed his girlfriend. Many, many scenes are funny. The plot largely leaves you guessing. The final twist wasn't telegraphed that much. So it's at least competent in most respects.

That said I really enjoyed Radcliffe's performance in this film. He is brooding, and funny when required. He sells the oddity of the horns and how people interact with them. He's sexy to the nth degree. Like I said the central performance has no notes from me.

The Birdcage (1996)

Somehow more dated than the 1978 original

[5/10 · 3 October 2022]

You would think being from the 90's-long after the modern gay rights movement started and even racked up some victories-that this film would be the more timeless and more respectable film compared to the earlier French/Italian original. But a las no.

I am not sure if it is because I have better feel for the actors' other work or the script beefing up the political barbs and context (gay marriage gets an implication, twice) but this film treats its gay characters far more as objects of derision than the 1978 version. I feel like you we should be laugh at the characters more than laughing with. It is also distressing that the son character is more uncaring jerk in this versions.

The performances and the basic story are still engaging-the film entertains. But I vastly prefer to smaller scale, more intimate shooting style, and the more restrained production values of the original. This feels very Hollywood and overproduced.

La Cage aux Folles (1978)

Revolutionary and traditional all at once

[10/10 · 3 October 2022]

I am surprised how well this film holds up. It seems less dated and more LGBT+ inclusive than the American remake that was made 18 years after this was. This is one of the earliest films-especially in a mainstream context-that presented drag as an activity that some men enjoyed doing for its own sake. Prior drag films, or crossdressing films, predicated the stars getting into flocks for plot reasons. I.e. In Some Like It Hot the leads cross-dress to escape the mob, and in the various Charly's Aunts guy dresses up to be chaperone. Here Albin does drag because he enjoys it and for its own sake. That is quite revolutionary given the time period this was made.

Albin might be the butt of a lot of jokes but the film is more playful than spiteful towards him. This is gay culture as seen through straight eyes but they are at least eyes with sympathy. That too is revolutionary.

But the film is utterly traditional in a lot of ways. It is farce on the oldest subject in the world-the conflict between (prospective) in-laws. It even has the sit-com like structure of the in-laws having different politics, ala All in the Family. It's shot as a intimate farce and family film. And the cast is nothing if not board.

It is this contrast-LGBT+ folks be included as more than victims or villains in a conventional plot-that make this a classic and very funny film.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

I'm not sure why this one takes the most flak.

[8/10 · 28 September 2022]

I think this film goes a long way to explain why Jackson and company decided to split the novel into (at least) 2 films. The material after Smaug's death is grim, especially compared to the rest of it. And given the 3 key character deaths it makes sense that you would want to isolate this section and flesh it out. This is especially true if you are an action filmmaker. Character deaths should have dramatic meaning beyond whatever linguistic obsession Tolkien had. A character we have come to know going mad needs time to breath.

In some ways this is most complete Middle Earth film Jackson ever made. It stands on its own far more than the other 5 films in the series. It feels like an episode unto itself. I rather like as a experience because it is one of few times I have ever been able to follow a battle tactically in cinema with ease. It works as a story of a battle.

So yes like the rest of the Hobbit films this is too long-awkwardly trying to split the difference between the novel and the LOTR films. It is filled with redundancies and bizarre additions, i.e. Alfred But I think it has a lot of great moments-the chariot sequence is really great.

It never captures the charm of the first hour or so of film 1 but it avoids the bottom of the barrel that is the climax of film 2.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Worst of the lot-It's deeply frustrating

[7/10 · 28 September 2022]

This film is the epoch of how Jackson's style can be such a mixed bag. There are several brilliant sequences that feel utterly like Tolkien brought to life. I.e. The game of cat and mouse that Smaug plays with Bilbo and the pre-elves part of Mirkwood. At the same time there are absurdities that render the film very silly, i.e. The barrel escape, battle and the giant gold dwarf. The film whiplashes between the best and worst of what Jackson has done with middle earth.

That said I want to defend Tauriel. I like the character and I like the romance she has with Kili. I think the relationship gels with the friendship theme between Legolas and Gimli in LOTR and as elf-mortal pairing that crops up again and again in Tolkien. More to the point, the lack of feminine characters is a huge issue in Middle Earth and just having another woman present breaks up the masculine energy. Alfred is the (basically) invented character that deserves scorn.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

The best of the Hobbit films. I wish the series was has good as the 1st half of this film

[9/10 · 28 September 2022]

I know people in general think the start of this film-basically everything prior to the Misty Mountains-is too slow and padded beyond what it should. I disagree. I think the first hour, hour fifteen minutes of this film is of the same quality as the LOTR. I wish the rest of the Hobbit films were as good as cinema and as thoughtful as adaptation as the first half. Instead the Hobbit series gets very action-y and very Hollywood after that point.

The central flaw of the series goes back to the texts they are working with. The Hobbit novel has two aspects of it that make a post-LOTR film awkward. First the final quarter of the novel is *exceptionally* dark and this darkness isn't really set-up in the novel. Second, the Hobbit text doesn't flow organically into the LOTR. (Tolkien himself rewrote a key chapter after LOTR was published) Jackson and company had to decide if they were going to adapt the Hobbit or try to rework the material to flow better with their wildly successful film series. They chose the later for mixed results.

The films are overextended-especially action scenes-and the Hobbit text gets mangled. But the films work well enough on their own terms and as preludes to the better LOTR that they are worth owning.

This is in large part because the formal elements of filmmaking-but in particular the design work-are all top notch. Likewise the cast-McKellen and Freeman are their characters-paper over a lot of the warts of the screenplay.

Beetlejuice (1988)

Kind of surprising that Burton sides with the yuppies.

[9/10 · 26 September 2022]

This is classic Burton. It has the macabre sense of humor and eccentric design. The film is much better as a piece of visual experience than as a story. The tone is dark whimsey. Overall this is everything you would want from a Burton film.

I wish Keaton got more screen time because he is easily the best part of the film. He gives such an gonzo, over-the-top performance. Beetlejuice the character stays with you and pretty much everything out of his mouth is comedic gold. If nothing else Keaton is worth the 90 minutes it takes to watch this.

The one thing I found odd or noteworthy is the young couple who's house is invaded-and thus have the audience's sympathy-is so normal, so suburban. . This is especially the case because the Ryder clan isn't-I think the contrast works in context but judging from the rest of Burton's film you would expect the two families to be reversed. That is the new family would be trying to de-weirdify the home of a couple of eccentrics because they are suburbanites. Maybe Burton felt the normal couple had to learn to be weird as a character arc but it isn't what one would expect given Burton's general vibe.

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Competes with the Nun as the worst in the franchise

[4/10 · 26 September 2022]

I find the set-up strained, the scares predictable and the characters all flat and annoying. But my biggest problem with this film-and it's something the series double down on in the Nun-is so much of the fantastical and horror elements are overblown and incoherent. For the entire time of the series Annabelle the doll was a horror unto itself. Here is a horror magnet.

Much of the film is confusing but not in a disturbing way. Confusing in sense that the script does not care about storytelling, in-universe rules and the like. When the solution is to merely put something back where it was I rolled my eyes so hard because it was so anti-climatic. This is just a poorly planned film.

Annabelle: Creation (2017)

The best of the spinoff films

[7/10 · 26 September 2022]

This isn't as good as either of the 1st two conjuring flicks, but it a lot better than the other Annabelles, the Nun and Curse of...I think the film has a nice slow buildup and the final scary sequence keeps you guessing without devolving into complete nonsense.

The direction of this film is really solid. It reminds strongly of the 1st Conjuring where much of the horror comes from implication and restraint. Unlike much of the other flicks in the series this one doesn't throw everything at the wall. It is just the doll and the goat headed demon as the spooky stuff present.

The acting of the kids is quite good as well. So much of these fanciful flicks depend on the actor buying into the premise. Here the younger cast does just that.

Annabelle (I) (2014)

A poor man's Rosemary's Baby but a rich man's SyFy Original

[7/10 · 24 September 2022]

This film is better than it has any right of being. It is basically Rosemary's Baby with a Manson family prologue. Neither the script nor characters are all that good-through I think the acting is fine. It's the characters who are underwritten. I also found the final story beat both troublesome and unbelievable. Not enough is done to sell a character's action. And the optics of the act are terrible given about 400 years of context.

But the direction and set pieces are pretty good. I don't think the film is scary per se but it is unnerving in several places. The basement sequence is particularly memorable. If you like the genre you should like this. It would be a Great Film if it was on the SyFy channel.

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007 Video)

96 ways to be bored

[4/10 · 24 September 2022]

This film was designed to be a pick your own adventure film. On the blu-ray disc you can select how the story branches. In the end there are 96 different ways that story can play out. The problem is each of them are so cliche and trope ridden as to be fundamentally boring. Even the tech-such as it is-isn't that interesting.

If you elect to watch the film as the production team settled on for the "canonical" version it is so thin and poorly written that it just isn't engaging in the slightest. I feel asleep twice watching this.

Worst of all there isn't even anything to the effects or atmosphere. It is all just so generic.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

I actually like this better than the first film

[8/10 · 23 September 2022]

I think the first film is more effective at the horror elements; there's nothing new in the scares and unnerving sequences here. So this film isn't as visceral as the prior film. But I prefer the script a good deal.

First I think the relationships amongst the characters-especially how the Warren interact with the new family-are more individualized, less trope-y. Likewise, I really like how the Warren's love is fleshed out. The scary bits are less intense but you care for the characters so it's something of a wash for intensity.

Second, the film does at least brings up the notion that the Warrens are frauds, even through it is just color. The opening TV interview works well in this regard. The big 3rd act twist also works well in this regard. The film still doesn't got far enough on this aspect because it is a horror film but I like the gestures towards that.

I still think a more interesting film about the Warren is possible but *this* is the best use of them in the horror genre.

The Conjuring (2013)

This is a good horror film but a more interesting film with this material is possible

[7/10 · 23 September 2022]

Outside of Hide-and-Clap being one of the dumbest things I have ever seen in a film this is a fairly intelligent horror film. The characters basically act like human beings. There's little jumps in logic. The irrational elements are contained to things that would be unexplainable, i.e. The demonic powers that be. The Warren's home life getting a subplot helps round out the characters as well. So the script is pretty good for what its aims are.

But I wish it aimed for something higher. The Warrens are frauds and a film that grappled with that would be interesting to see; far more interesting than a better than average haunted house story. Because the production is interested in making a horror film the Warren's "case" files are treated earnestly-despite two of their best known cases being definitive hoaxes. Which would be ok if the film didn't lean into the "true" story nonsense and including the rote trope of the unbeliever being converted. (The sheriff's deputy in this case). I guess I would like to see a 100% grounded take on the Warrens-not just a horror film using them a veneer of authenticity.

With all that said, the film as a horror experience is quite good. Wan understands that less is more in horror (well at least in this movie) and much of the film's joys are the atmospherics. It is very old fashioned in how minimal the effects elements are. The acting-esp. Wilson-is also a lot better than in most horror films.

This is fully realized genre filmmaking. I wish it tried just a bit to transcend that.

Ghost Ship (2002)

A haunted house story but you know on a boat.

[7/10 · 22 September 2022]

This is pretty standard fare from Dark Castle. It is not a great film-it isn't even necessarily a great horror film. But it has just enough competence to hold your attention and a storyline that does what you want it to do. It is the technical aspects that make the film.

The boat's design and how the director shoots it are just unnerving enough to make this a cromulent creepy atmosphere. The rust stained and disheveled sets stay with you after the story wraps up. In a lot of ways this is the primary joy of the film. It is like being in a haunted house at sea.

The cold opening, as well as a later sequence expounded upon it, it is the best in the film and one of the best scenes from the early aughts. It is blood soaked for the gore fans but also suspenseful for the thriller fans. The rest of film never quite gets there again but the opening is worth watching by itself.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

A good reworking of the 81' film

[8/10 · 19 September 2022]

This one of the better uses of 3d tech that occurred around when Avatar was released. Its gimmicky as all heck but the gore effects mix well with the 3d to make a visceral slasher. Fans of the genre should love the film's 80's vibe-it has the nudity and blood associated with the form. The film has an 80's vibe even through it was made in 2009.

The story is a more of a romantic melodrama-built around a love triangle-than is common to the slasher flicks. It works as a love triangle even when the big twists in the story are not that twisty. The film does a well making the 3 leads more or less actual people that rise above being canon fodder.

A lot of this is due to the cast. Ackles-Dean from Supernatural-gives a good, fun performance as the damaged center of the film. Smith makes a good foil for Ackles. I wish this film got a sequel.

House of Wax (2005)

A weak first act hamstrings an otherwise good slasher

[7/10 · 19 September 2022]

The cold opening of the film where Vincent and Bo are introduced and everything after night falls in the creepy town is top notch horror-slasher. If you like the genre this material makes sitting through the film worthwhile. It is a pretty good flick despite the problems in the 1st act.

But the 1st act has a lot of problems. The characters are over *and* under written. There's several plot threads-such as a woman trying to tell her girlfriend that she might be pregnant and the twins sibling drama-intended to endear us to the characters. It is inefficiently written; Most scenes only contain a single story beat. Some of this material is needed for audience sympathy-and slow burns in horror flicks can work. But the characters are shallow and archetype. They are fodder. We don't need that much detail or subplots. The 1st act is meandering and flat.

It is too bad. The cast is pretty good and the gore is great. They needed to tighten up this film.

Personhood (2019)

The story itself is enraging but the documentary is a bit rote

[8/10 · 12 September 2022]

This is a well done investigation into an infuriating and outrageous legal situation. It doesn't do much to set it apart from other documentaries cinematically. I think it was the first time effort. It is professional but uninspired as cinema.

That said the cases under discussion give lie to notion that the so-called pro-life movement care about the "unborn." Fetal personhood laws, in practice, are shown to be little more than excuses to punish women, deemed imperfect to be mothers. It is utterly Kafkaesque when a woman ends up locked up in solitary to "protect" the "unborn child."

At one point a pregnant woman ends up in a legal proceeding she really doesn't understand and without any preparation. The kicker is her unborn fetus is given a lawyer while she is not. This sort of absurdity is present throughout the case.

After Tiller (2013)

Tough cases make for bad laws

[10/10 · 12 September 2022]

As a documentary this is one of the best I have seen in a long time. The filmmakers approach such a loaded topic in a sensitive and fair way. They allow the doctors and patients to largely speak for themselves without editorializing . They give the anti-abortion a respectful nod to its constitutionally permissible activities while condemning its illiberal actions . And they properly frame the issue: 3rd trimester abortions are less than 1% of all abortions and they are almost always done because of medical issues with the mother or fetus.

I think this is the best and most interesting part the documentary-a range of cases were shown. Several of the cases highlighted were from women with *wanted* pregnancies who unfortunately had fetuses with insurmountable medical issues. In one case a woman was told by multiple doctors that if she carried to term the kid would live at most 3 or 4 days. In that time the kid would have need to put on life support. She ended up electing abortion because she found it easier to do that than (eventually) removing life support. The clinic was asked and they provided treating the abortion as much like a still birth as possible, i.e. They documented the fetus's death, gave paperwork with footprints and named him. The mother was given a memento box. It was a profoundly moving rebuke of the anti-abortion stated nonsense about abortion being for wanton harlots only.

But the film also careful enough to highlight other cases-through the lion's share were medical. A few rape victims had their cases shown. But so too were a couple of cases of "abortion of convenience." The filmmakers never comment on any case per se to their credit but the share variance and complexity leads one to pro-choice presuppositions .

I think reasonable persons can disagree with the morality in particular cases-but it is hard to think the providers and patients are not approaching this procedure with care. They spend a lot of time checking with the patients. The doctors have others do the intake-clinicians are free to opt out. Some patients are turned down. A patient having an abortion because the fetus has, say, Down's Syndrome makes me apprehensive. But to force a woman to give birth to a child who is doomed to suffer and die within days is absolutely horrifying.

The film leads one to think that 3rd trimester abortions would be even rarer if abortion was contextualized by society differently. The most infuriating case is a young woman who delayed getting an abortion because she was raised in "pro-life" household and considers herself "pro-life" and the psychological baggage that created. Everyone would have been served better if she had an abortion in the 1st trimester-where 90% of abortions happen.

The ethical questions of abortion are greatly lessened the earlier it is performed in pregnancy. Given biological happenstance of fetal defects or mother's health issues cropping up in a certain rate late term abortion will always exist. These cases are tough but a rule that everyone has to follow seems like a particularly bad fit.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: A Shadow of the Past (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

I hope the writing improves because the cast and production values are great

[8/10 · 5 September 2022]

Jackson's LOTR and Hobbit films are among my favorite films. I think they are very grand and transports the viewer into a feigned history. I have tried to avoid all information about this show before watching it. I knew that it was set in the 2nd age and that Jackson wasn't really involved. I was surprised how well visually the show and the Jackson film's fit together. The show has its own vibe and design sense but it clearly built on the bones of the Jackson films. It does feel like these locations and sets will devolve into the locales we see in the LOTR/Hobbit series. So while this episode isn't as grand as the films it does do the one thing that hoped it would. It brings middle-earth back to life.

I like the cast they got. Elrond, Galadriel. And Nori are appealing characters and the new actors are all good fits. Importantly the cast has chemistry with each other. And they are buying into the world enough to sell the fantasy.

But I have two big issues with the writing. The series is presuming that you have read up on Tolkien-there is a *ton* of lore that is unexplained in this episode. I've read basically everything Tolkien wrote-not just the LOTR-and I had to look some stuff up to piece the storyline together. I think causal fans will find parts of the episode impenetrable. The exposition of the first episode makes it a little dramatically flat.

My second writing issue is the series has been-seemingly-influenced by Game of Thrones to make it grittier. There is a more realpolitik vibe to the proceedings than Jackson's films. And the language of the dialog doesn't have the grace of the Jackson films at least attempted. The series appears unwilling to use elvish all that much. There's a bluntness to the dialog that I find off-putting in context. Likewise the characters, esp. Elves, have been rendered more petty and common than high fantasy requires.

The Brainwashing of My Dad (2015)

Doesn't cover new ground-I wish the focus was more personal.

[7/10 · 30 August 2022]

Starting around 2005 (IIRC) there was a spate of documentaries talking about the toxic influence of right-wing media in America. Outfoxed-a fullthroated attack on Fox News-is the earliest one I can recall seeing. I have watched several of the films. The information and history presented is largely the same. This one doesn't add anything new or novel to the explanation of the problem. It's only saving grace is the personal story of a daughter trying to reach her father.

This story forms the framing device and emotional core of the film and it is the easiest the best part of it but there are long sections of explanatory material. It would have been nice to seen some of the father's rightwing rants and the like. But the messier family scenes are only described. The film is curiously distanced from criticizing the father all that much. The notion that he-or others-elected to be "brainwashed" never comes up. I am sure some rightwing blowhards are actually deluded. But a lot them at in fact trolls-who delight in bad faith and know they are spewing nonsense.

I feel like this film would have been better had the director been a friend of the family.

The United States of Insanity (2021)

The film convinced me that the FBI needs a better definition of 'gang'

[10/10 · 30 August 2022]

I am not a Juggalo. I don't think I have heard an ICP song prior to watching this movie. I was only vaguely aware of the group existing because of the legal story that the film is centered around. On the cultural front the film didn't do much to endear me to the ICP's body of work. They truly are a terrible rap duo. However, the duo and their fans seem like good bros and people. This film captures the subculture in a through and entertaining way; a bit like a mockumentary this present a bunch of colorful and fun characters to follow around. Best of all behind the make-up and the Juggalo-ness everyone seems like real people even if you know weird.

On the legal side of story I found the film entirely convincing that the FBI is simply wrong to label Juggalos as a gang. This is true even after I looked into the matter from other sources. The label is a byproduct of the FBI's far too expansive definition of gang and from actual gangs coopting Juggalo iconography, i.e. Hatchet man. It would be like labeling Cubs fans a gang just because a Chicago gang all wore Cubs stuff. (This is something that happens with sports teams a lot apparently)

I am sure Juggalos will like the film. But I think anyone concerned with 1st amendment issues and gov't overreach will like this film.

The film will not win ICP any new fans.