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Reviews
Carlito's Way (1993)
A terribly written, directed and acted scene
The scene in the train station is awful on so many levels. Firstly the escalator... it's not possible to hide on an adjacent escalator, the angles are wrong, and it's the slowest escalator of all time. Then the reasoning of the interactions at the train makes no sense. Why do all three (Carlito, Pachanga and Benny) run together to Gail only for Benny to shoot the other two WHILE THE COPS ARE RIGHT THERE? And the acting during this is awful. Then Carlito's voiceover accent is ridiculous.
Yellowstone (2018)
Slow descent into ridiculousness
With each season Yellowstone gets more absurd with increasingly impossible scenarios and transparently cartoonish characters. My wife summed up the female characters perfectly: "It's as if the writers have never actually talked with a woman". Exactly. The show even has a "Cousin Oliver" (or Rudy Huxtable) in Carter. It's just terribly written by very bad writers.
Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
Meandering and poorly made
I agree with the negative reviews and issues mentioned, including plot holes, unlikeable characters, and poor 90's vibe. In addition I'd add that the nighttime scenes (or in dark rooms or underground ) were way too dark and often the screen was basically black for long periods . I saw all three movies, so maybe this occurred more in 2 and 3, but it was annoying. I also would delicately mention that the wokeness was distracting because it felt contrived.
Nocturnal Animals (2016)
WARNING SKIP FIRST FIVE MINUTES
Seriously? Dancing, naked, obese, old women for FIVE MINUTES. I get it, they're artsy, trying to make the viewer uncomfortable, so now we understand just how foofoo, hoity-toity Susan's high-class art gallery is.... but I have avoided seeing my grandmother naked and will never be woke enough to take a peak. I'll wait until my wife and I get really old before addressing theses issues and don't need movies to do it for me prematurely.
That said, it's a pretty engaging movie, emotionally stirring. I actually liked the ending, I predicted it, said to my wife "he should stand her up". Maybe it leaves a bit of an unsatisfying feeling, since I'm used to a resolution tied up with a bow. I don't agree with the reviews that defend Susan's decisions. I think this is an indictment of her weakness in leaving Edward and becoming her mother.
It was worth the watch. Except for naked grandma.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
The Fix
Why is this piece of garbage still rated on average as 59% splat and 75% popcorn when sooooo many reviews pan it? It is simply awful. Who are we afraid of offending? It's bad. Very, very bad. Kill this pig.
Led Zeppelin: Dazed & Confused (2009)
Why use faked Zeppelin music?
There are some real Zeppelin recordings in this but also a ton of Almost-Zeppelin music that consists of songs that are close but altered just enough, I'm assuming, to reduce the royalty costs or something. It's annoying. I stopped watching about 3 minutes in with fake Kashmir and 4 minutes in with Fake Babe I'm Gonna Leave You. Yuck.
I'm growing irritated by music documentaries on Prime. This one at least had SOME real Zeppelin but many others, like all of the Beatles docs, apparently couldn't get permission or afford the licensing, but made a documentary anyway. Nearly useless but definitely annoying and distracting.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
I wish I could unwatch this
Why? Please explain this movie to me.
Woke folk, who've taken over this franchise ( for reasons I cannot understand).... did the previous story bother you? Was the lack of inclusion/diversity and a strong female in the first six episodes SO bad that it ruined the enjoyment of the plot for you ? Did you need revenge? You made three very bad movies. Great finale. Another difficult to follow movie that represents the diversity of a very distance and ancient outer space,. Great job. Pat yourself on the back.
Spenser Confidential (2020)
It had some promise and then spiraled
I kinda liked this movie right up until the dog attack.... after that point in the movie it became terrible, unbelievable, cringy bad. The plot became absurd and nonsensical. It's as if after 40 minutes of carefully making a moving their attention span drifted or they ran out of ideas and figured they'd just do any damn thing. It really is terrible after the dog attack. Which, by the way, was totally an unnecessary scene. It got weird. And stupid.
The Aeronauts (2019)
OF COURSE it's a woke rewriting
Nothing can be just a story. Even if historical fact gets in the way. There must be a woke version to everything. It's just the way things must be in this absurd period of time when 1/2 of society doggedly follows the most corrupt moron in history and the other 1/2 is hellbent on an impossible and irrational rewriting of history and nature. Things that aren't true simply are not true, no matter how much you'd like them to be. It's a poorly written fairy tale made worse by its pandering to a foolish political agenda of needy wishful thinkers.
The Outsider: Tear-Drinker (2020)
Terrible actress
She is awful. The show isn't great, especially the slow pace and terrible soundtrack that makes it ddddrrrraaaagggg along sluggishly. But her acting is 8th grade play bad.
The Outsider (2020)
Not Holly
Terrible actress , just awful. Holly Gibney is a great character and this portrayal is terrible.
Mindhunter: Episode #2.1 (2019)
Great Continuation
....hmmmm, I'm distracted by Anna Torv's awful makeup. She looks like she has jaundice... or some politician's tanning bed.
Get Out (2017)
Lives up to the hype
A really well made movie. Very original premise and plot. Funny and scary. I feel like I only write bad reviews lately and am relieved to review a movie a totally enjoyed. Only itty bitty gripe was the brain transplant...it didn't ruin the movie but it seemed unnecessarily out of place like how a low budget movie would treat the method of changing people.
Fear the Walking Dead: Here to Help (2019)
Zombie Fonzie meet Zombie Shark
The fundamental objective of sci-fi is the suspension of disbelief. This version of TWD franchise has pushed the limits of the premise very, very far. The thinly developed (read: both unlikable/unbelievable) characters keep making choices and are capable of doing things that are unlikely, but even worse, kind of stupid. But never mind that. I'll be accused of some bias, yadda, yadda, whatever. Bottom line: they've gone too far for too long with questionable characters who make choices unlikely given their history and possessing skills or new abilities that are inconsistent with their backstory.... no suspension of disbelief = fail. All that's left is a soap opera. A poorly written and acted soap opera.
Close (2019)
Almost good
This was pretty good, kick-ass, female action movie until they tried to add a cliched daughter-I-don't-talk-to subplot. As if a bad-ass female HAS to have emotional baggage. And the kidnapped girl shouldn't suddenly be capable of taking down a henchman. But there were moments when the action was intense and the lead actress very convincing.
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
I enjoyed it, but it's my last Star Wars
Solo had some fun nostalgia stuff. It also had a bit of the idiocy of The Last Jedi.... I especially didn't like the marauders reveal. The movie was going pretty well to that point and then "ta-da!" ...oh, I forgot, you want to tell me a message. Oh well. I got to see the gambling of the Millennium Falcon, so that was cool. No more Star Wars for me. This man baby has grown too old.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Just a terrible movie
There are too many reasons this movie is terrible, but the bottom lines are always 1.) plot and 2.) suspension of disbelief. The plot was terrible.... the looonnnnggggg pointless slow speed pursuit was awful.... the premise of characters decisions.... the side trip (chase still going) to get someone with codes on nearby planet....doesn't pan out.... how does Rey get back to them after dispatching Snoke? The plot is awful, and super distracting, making it impossible to suspend disbelief, which is critical in a sci-fi movie. There is no redeeming quality to this movie. I feel like they've ruined the franchise. Why did they?
Bird Box (2018)
Nope, didn't like it
Why? 1. Suspension of disbelief not possible. 2. Major plot holes. 3. They don't show the monster....why?....there was one described in the book but when they tried to invent one it was so stupid looking they chose to punt. My suspension of disbelief was ruined on the trip to the grocery store...stupid. Then, how did they get to the cabin by the river? And the row boat ride... stupid. And running through the woods blindfolded.... try it, I dare you.... go ahead, I'll wait....BAMMM!!!....that was a tree you ran into after your third step...stupid.