lord_orsum Reviews

IF (I) (2024)

Better than expected

[7/10 · 19 May 2024]

It's not often that a film, especially an effects heavy Hollywood film, surprises me in a positive way.

IF presents teenager Bea encountering a group of IFs (Imaginary Friends) who have been forgotten by their now grown up kids. This certainly evokes themes explored in Toy Story 3, but is sufficiently different to work.

While there are no major surprises plot-wise in this film, it does deliver an unexpected amount of emotional weight. The backstory of the mother is mostly implied rather than shown, and the relationships are subtly portrayed rather than hammering us over the head.

Ryan Reynolds is suitably charismatic, but subdued (in a good way). The voice acting it top notch. And Cailey Fleming in the lead role manages to carry the film convincingly.

Sting (2024)

Giant cliche

[6/10 · 3 May 2024]

Don't get me wrong, I had fun watching this film. But it is so "by the numbers" that it almost defies belief.

So...apartment block in winter, during blizzard, alien spider which grows at an impossible rate. Cue various gory deaths (but only of characters that deserve it) and a battle for survival using wits and whatever comes to hand. But the monster has a vital weakness which can be exploited.

In many ways, I felt like I was watching a 1950s B-movie. The plot was so generic, so predictable, so cliched, that it was like an old pair of comfortable slippers. And that is not always a bad thing.

The Fall Guy (2024)

Don't think too hard about the plot. Really.

[7/10 · 30 April 2024]

I enjoyed this film. It was light-hearted fun, the action was good, the chemistry between Gosling and Blunt was believable and the humour was tongue in cheek.

The plot is suitably nonsense (as fitting given its 1980s TV origins). Don't think too hard about it. If you ponder questions such as: what about the other witnesses? Can you recover from a broken back to that extent in 18 months? Would he have reported a crime that he was being framed for? When he goes through real windscreens, falls long distances onto hard surfaces, etc., how does he not break any bones? And so on.... well, it will spoil your fun.

Kudos to Aaron Taylor-Johnson for playing an absolute arsehole so well. Gosling carries off the comedy better than I would have given him credit for, given his previous work that I have seen. Emily Blunt is always watchable.

So grab your popcorn and enjoy the ride.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Not great, but worthy

[7/10 · 8 April 2024]

When Ghostbusters: Afterlife came out, I was happily surprised. A nicely written script that didn't have the current Hollywood tropes, which respected the original and delivered a fun romp. It added new ideas, relocated to small town middle America, and was generally fun.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire follows the same group, now relocated back to New York.

The thing about Ghostbusters is: you shouldn't think about it too hard. Why do ghosts manifest as round green, slimy eating machines? Why are they allowed to run around with massively dangerous proton packs? Why aren't other companies getting in on the act?

So criticising this film that it doesn't make sense for (for example) a group, including a 15 year old, to be zooming around New York streets, breaking a million laws, causing untold property damage and potential death and injury. Pointing at one thing and saying "that would never happen" in this franchise is a bit silly.

A valid criticism is that the film has too many characters. Some of the characters from Afterlife (Lucky, Podcast) have nothing to do. A couple of new characters are introduced. The old team, with the exception of Dan Ackroyd, are sort of just there.

It's a Ghostbusters movie. It was fun. It won't be a classic. But it made me feel good.

Triangle (2009)

Not what you are expecting

[7/10 · 19 March 2024]

Given the synopsis and poster, I was expecting a survival horror flick. Maybe something supernatural on the boat picking off the survivors one by one.

This is not what I got. I got something a whole lot weirder, more tightly plotted and interesting.

I cannot explain what happens without spoilers, so I will just say that the film delivers an interesting premise, with enough hints to suggest an explanation (of sorts). There are some very nice twists and imagery in places.

The runtime is quite short, and the pacing is good. The acting is adequate. The special effects budget is clearly limited. The script is what lifts this above average.

Give this film a chance - it is definitely worth it.

The Last Duel (2021)

Historical accuracy for one

[8/10 · 17 March 2024]

Finally, a medieval story which is (as far as I can tell) historically accurate, and by far better for it.

The story revolves around the accusation of rape. The wife of one knight has accused another knight of rape. The film is in three parts, the same story told from three different perspectives. The subtle differences in how each scene plays out according to each character is wonderfully done. Their focus and their prejudice colour each scene.

The three main actors all deliver excellent performances (plus I almost did not recognise a blond Ben Affleck).

But the drama is provided through historical accuracy. Women had little or no standing or rights. The wife cannot bring an accusation of rape to court - only her husband can do that. It is accepted science that women cannot conceive unless they orgasm during intercourse. A woman commenting that another man is handsome is virtually equivalent to committing adultery.

These were brutal times, and the results were brutal.

Hypnotic (2023)

Feels like a TV show pilot

[5/10 · 17 March 2024]

The film title is a bit misleading. I would have much preferred a film about people who use hypnosis to get innocent people to commit crimes. But the premise of the film is about people who can do mind control and want to take over the world.

Even within the movie, the rules of this are not consistently applied or make sense. How did the bad guy create an illusion of himself before the good guys came through the door? How did he control and entire town when the good guys are fleeing in a random direction? How does he control over the phone when eye contact is required? And on and on...

To its advantage is the fact that it is only 90 minutes long, so it doesn't overstay its welcome. The story moves along briskly, hoping you won't think too much about the glaring holes, and Affleck is almost phoning it in. It came, it entertained, it left. Tomorrow I will have forgotten it.

Dream Scenario (2023)

The coolest man on the planet playing the uncoolest man on the planet

[6/10 · 17 March 2024]

I wanted so much more from this film. It starts well, with an ineffectual, confrontation avoiding professor (Cage) slowly finding that many people in the world are dreaming about him. The interesting point is that he is just randomly turning up in their dreams, and does nothing.

There is an interesting theme here that his dream presence reflects his inaction in his own real life. He is essentially sleepwalking through his own life. This could lead to revelation and growth for Cage. But alas, this is not the course the film decides to take.

While trying to capitalise on his own sudden fame, Cage encounters a beautiful young woman who has been having intense erotic dreams about him. Why she is having a different type of dream is never explained. I suspect it is because the plot needs to happen. This encounter does not go well, and now the dreams that people have been having turn into violent nightmares.

It is after this dark turn that the film loses its way. Cage's life dissolves around him as people confabulate his dream actions with the man himself. While this would certainly be the case for some, no0one in the film takes a more rationale standpoint that Cage himself has not done anything!

Cage's performance is outstanding. His representation of a man who has virtually zero agency in any aspect of his life, who has continually be walked on by everyone around him, is a masterclass. But the film tries to tell the audience that in some way he deserves it. He's pathetic, so he deserves to be a victim. It's a horrible message.

It is for Cage alone that I gave this 6 stars.

A great premise, which failed to delivery anything worthy.

Dune: Part Two (2024)

A breath of fresh air

[8/10 · 16 March 2024]

It was not until a while after seeing Dune Part 2 that I realised what a breath of fresh air it was. I have seen some good movies in the past couple of years, but I struggle to think of a good blockbuster, especially sci-fi blockbuster. These have all been poorly written, CGI bloated, character deficient messes.

Then along comes Dune Part 2. Part 1 was good, but Part 2 is better.

The film expands and Chani's role, but more importantly it focuses on Paul's reluctance to adopt the role of messiah, knowing what it will bring. If anything, the film is a cautionary tale about religious extremism.

Austin Butler as Feyd-Rautha is exceptional, and worth the entry ticket alone. His role has also been expanded, and rightly so, as it gives the final fight more meaning.

However, other things are jettisoned to make room. Thufir Hawat, the mentat, does not even make an appearance. Given his tiny role in Part 1, I wonder why we has present at all. The weirding way is not evening mentioned; it was the primary motivation for destroying house Atreides and Paul teaching it to the Fremen gives them the edge over the Emperor's troops. The role of the Guild of Navigators is missing as well, which removes a whole level of complexity from the political machinations at work.

It is these reasons that Dune was considered unfilmable. Getting all of these characters, history and world-building into a film format (even two 3 hours films) is an impossible task. So Villeneuve has by necessity chosen what to keep, what to expand and what to drop. The result is an excellent film that takes us to a place 8000 years away, but feels very close to him.

Wicked Little Letters (2023)

Wonderfully funny and tragic in turns

[7/10 · 9 March 2024]

This film was a joy to watch. There are no great surprises in the story (unless you really are not paying attention), but all of the actors deliver fantastic performances.

If there is any message being relayed here, it is a commentary on the repressive nature of 1920s England. Timothy Spall, always excellent, is absolutely monstrous as the father to Coleman. But the genius is the fact that his abuse is not blatant, but is performed in an endless series of negative comments, silences, derisions and general oppression.

There are many laugh out loud moments, blended with moments of heart-wrenching tragedy and injustice. And it is (mostly) a true story. And that is certainly a noteworthy achievement.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Nearly decent

[5/10 · 9 March 2024]

I do like a good apocalyptic movie. This one had some decent bits, but overall it falls short. The main purpose of this kind of movie is watching normal turn into a battle for survival.

I think that this is where this film fails. The start is good enough, and slowly builds a sense of impending doom. The oil tanker bit is nicely done.

Then communications fail; phones, internet, television, etc. Apparently a major cyber attack has crippled the USA (the rest of the world is never mentioned). I think the film would have been better if it had stuck with this and watched society collapse without the technology with which we have all become so dependent. No ability to communicate, to pay for things (like food), to navigate, to obtain news and information...

It is at this point that the film loses its way. The "noise" is pure science fiction (at least on such a broad scale). Why would an enemy drone drop thousands of leaflets in the middle of the countryside? Why would the animals start acting so strangely? Blocking roads by sending self-driving cars from factories to crash at the same place seems a high-risk strategy (there are much easier ways of crippling transport infrastructure). Having multiple planes all crash at the exact same point seems unlikely (pilots do actually fly planes you know). It all gets a bit surreal, and thus loses the credibility which brings fear to the viewer.

Probably the worst failing of this film is that, at no point, do the main characters feel threatened. The worst is that they don't trust each other, which is based more on racism than anything else. They have food and water, they have electricity, they just don't know what is going on.

And then there is the ending, which is just a terrible deus ex machina.

Overall, a missed opportunity.

Madame Web (2024)

Definitely not good, but not so terrible either

[4/10 · 24 February 2024]

Let's start with the bad stuff: The dialogue is clunky at best, the characters make stupid decisions (the diner being top of my list), the villain is one dimensional, the cinematography is pedestrian, the showdown is laughable (a structurally unsound fireworks factory!) and the plot holes are large enough to drive an ambulance through (you will understand after seeing the movie).

Having said that, the female leads give it their best with the material they are given, the stakes are personal (no sky beams or world ending peril) and I didn't feel like walking out.

Is it better or worse than Morbius - I would put it on par with that film. I also have low expectations for Kraven the Hunter. There is a market for smaller-scale, more personally driven superhero movies, but Sony has not managed to nail it. But full marks for continuing the try...

His Dark Materials (2019–2022)

Very Faithful

[9/10 · 21 January 2024]

I have just finished the third and final season, and thoroughly enjoyed all of it. When adaptations of books, either as a film or TV series, stick faithfully to the source material, then generally you get a good result.

All the cast are on top form. Dafne Keen is excellent, James McAvoy is always brilliant, but top marks have to go to Ruth Wilson as Mrs Coulter. Her character is just magnetic and she conveys so much complexity with just the slightest of expressions - it really is an acting masterclass.

I won't discuss the plot, but will only state that the multiverse concept is very well portrayed, the character interactions are written with style and care and the 'demons' are beautifully and realistically rendered.

And I couldn't resist the irony of my review title... :-)

Saltburn (2023)

The spirit of Gormenghast

[7/10 · 26 December 2023]

There are reasons to compare Saltburn to Gormenghast. Both involve weirdly eccentric aristocracy, stuck in ritual and totally dysfunctional as human beings. Enter an outsider, who is a commoner, who steadily works his way up the social ladder, by fair means or foul.

The film is well scripted and acted, and most of the cast appear to be having fun (Rosamund Pike and Richard E Pike as on top form). My only complaints are that the main character is so morose all of the time that it is hard to believe that anyone would want him around.

A couple of the scenes were unnecessary (I am talking about the bath water scene, and the grave scene). You could argue that they provided insight into that characters obsession, but to me seemed more about being shocking. They could have been cut without losing any plot and reduced the 2:11 runtime.

A glimpse into the world of the disgustingly wealthy and entitled. They can keep it.

Children of Dune (2003)

Ambitious but soulless

[5/10 · 20 December 2023]

Full marks to the production for their ambition. The attempt to fit so much story, and so much worldbuilding into a miniseries is to be commended. Unfortunately, this mini-series falls flat due to two insurmountable issues.

Firstly, the acting. Most of the actors, even veterans like Susan Sarandon and Alice Krige, struggle to imbue their performances with any subtlety or nuance. Sarandon particularly is bordering on a pantomime villain. Alex Newman is a plank of wood at Paul Atreides.

Secondly, the lighting. It is obvious that the production was done on a limited budget, but everything is clearly shot in a studio. The lighting is so bad, so artificial, that it destroys any sense of immersion. This is not helped by some CGI that has definitely not aged well (it looks like a PS2 cut-scene).

There are a number of good things here. Firstly a very young James McAvoy, whose charisma places him leagues ahead of the rest of the cast. Anyone watching this back in the day would be able to tell that he was destined for great things.

Secondly, some of the lesser touches are nicely done. I particularly like the Bene Gesserit sign language used concurrently with the banal verbal conversation. I wish there had been more stuff like that.

Not terrible, but I won't be going back to watch it again.

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

Channels The Stepford Wives and other classic SF

[7/10 · 1 December 2023]

This film feels like the kind of classic "twilight zone" type of SF which I would love to see more of. Not in need of big, flashy special effects, it relies on its premise and the slow build of weirdness to draw the audience in.

Florence Pugh is excellent in the lead role, and Chris Pine is effectively chilling. The plot, which I won't spoil, does have some issues which cause it to fall apart if you think too hard about questions such as "what about...?". But overall, this is an effective SF drama, which draws from the desire (of some) to return to a simpler, better time; the rose-tinted view of 1950s America.

Needless to say, what is better for me is not necessarily better for you. And the film does try to raise some questions about free will, lazy consumerism and entitlement.

Better than most films that I have seen this year!

Uncharted (2022)

Ridiculous, but somewhat entertaining

[6/10 · 25 November 2023]

Apparently a Spanish galleon, left beached in a cave and open to the elements for 600 years, is still perfectly preserved, including the rigging, gunpowder, and even the spices in the barrels.

Well, if it was true for The Goonies, I suppose it must be true here as well.

This film attempts to follow where Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider and National Treasure have gone before. The plot is predictable, the characters one-dimensional, and the action completely unbelievable.

Tom Holland uses his physicality to great effect, Mark Walhberg is Mark Walhberg and Antonio Banderas was clearly in it for the paycheck.

Forgettable nonsense.

Dragon's Rage (2012 Video)

Bad Movie Night

[4/10 · 11 November 2023]

Every now and then, my friends and I have a "pizza and bad movie night". Generally we select fantasy movies. Our latest outing was this...

First of all, it is almost three hours long, and boy, does it feel like four! The actors are generally giving it their best, but the budget is clearly very limited and nowhere more so than the CGI. The dragons, for the brief periods you see them, are so poorly rendered and animated that it was shame a 1990s TV movie, and this was made in 2012!

The story makes very little sense, and the internal logic is baffling at best. Everything revolves around "bloodsteel", which is a consumable magical material. There is a strange steampunk vibe to various parts of the worldbuilding which just seems out of place.

Some movies are so bad that they are entertaining, but this one was mostly just bad, despite the game attempts by the cast.

The Marvels (2023)

Not the train wreck that I was expecting

[6/10 · 11 November 2023]

This is not saying that The Marvels is a great movie, but it is watchable. The action is fun, the villain motivation is solid, the effects are decent. Kudos to Iman Vellani for portraying Kamala Kahn as a total fan-girl without making her irritating.

On the downside, I really could have done without the singing planet, and Brie Larson still struggles to be likeable.

This film has received so much bad press in advance of its release that I went in with VERY low expectations. Happily the film surpassed that low bar and delivered a decent level of entertainment.

The mid-credits scene is quite tantalising, and worth waiting for.

Underwater (2020)

Decent Lovecraftian movie

[6/10 · 22 October 2023]

I have been playing Call of Cthulhu for about 35 years and my favourite published scenario is called Grace Under Pressure. It was clearly inspired by James Cameron's The Abyss, and involved a deep sea drilling station encountering R'lyeh.

This film shares a lot of DNA with that scenario. The build up is good, though the action starts almost immediately, which prevents us getting to know the characters in advance. The sense of claustrophobia is very well handled, though the balance between using poor underwater visibility to maintain suspense and frustrating the viewing is a fine line.

Kirsten Stewart is fine, and plays scared admirably well (something which is harder than you might think). The effects are good and the big monster is all Lovecraft could want.

While this was never going to win any Oscars, it was decent and I absolutely do not regret watching it. I suspect it may even end up in my Lovecraftian movie collection...

Guns Akimbo (2019)

Quite entertaining

[6/10 · 7 October 2023]

You have to hand it to Daniel Radcliffe, since Harry Potter he has chosen to do whatever he damn well wants when it comes to film roles. No one can accuse him of being boring or typecast.

The premise of this film is simple. A geeky nobody upsets some bad people and they get revenge by bolting guns to his hands and putting him in a real-life deathmatch.

If you can get past the obvious logical failures of this setup (the fact that such a thing exists and is essentially mainstream), then there is some entertainment here. The first half-hour is the weakest, but once the actual action starts, it is quite fun. The amount of bullet dodging is ridiculous (apparently running while someone is shooting at you from 20 feet away makes you impossible to hit).

The message, if there is one, is that we, the public, enable this ongoing atrocity by consuming it in our desire for vicarious sensation.

Mr. Nobody (2009)

Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle applied to a life

[7/10 · 7 October 2023]

This film is not for everyone. It has a sprawling, non-linear, non-conventional approach to storytelling. It follows the life (lives) of a man called Nemo Nobody (Jared Leto) whose life could have followed multiple different paths depending upon the smallest of chance occurrences.

Whereas films such as Sliding Doors follow a simple two-path narrative, this film has multiple branches. The achievement is that all of them are interesting (in different ways) and it never feels confused.

The central theme is love, and how random chances affect who we love, and how that love changes. There is joy, loss, betrayal, grief and a whole swath of other emotions on display here. My only complaint is that there is no really satisfying conclusion to the film, but I am not even sure that such a thing is possible.

If you are willing to try something different, something unconventional, that doesn't necessarily make sense, then give this a try. If nothing else, it will give you something to think about.

Lifeforce (1985)

A totally guilty pleasure

[7/10 · 6 October 2023]

Recipe for making Lifeforce 1. Take a 1950s style sci-fi horror plotline 2. Add 1980s special effects 3. Mix in a generous amount of gratuitous nudity 4. Play completely straight (no hamming!) 5. Enjoy!

I remember watching this in the 80s and loving it. It has this epic feel despite its low budget. It's ambitions far outweigh what its wallet can achieve. There is a space mission with the discovery of a 150 mile long alien vessel inside a comets halo. There are bodies being drained and resurrected. There is London burning in a zombie apocalypse. It's all epic stuff and the fact that the actors are 100% invested in the film gives it more gravitas than it should sanely have.

I thoroughly enjoyed it again for the sheer passion put into the vision.

The Creator (2023)

Good sci-fi, looks great, but huge plot holes

[7/10 · 1 October 2023]

Up front, I will say that I recommend this movie. It is worth your time. The visuals are gorgeous, the action is visceral and the world is interesting.

However, the story has plot holes that you could drive a tank through. Why does the USA, who has been waging a years long war on AI, use robot bombs that clearly utilise AI? Why are the laser weapons, which can blast a hole in a robot, unable to penetrate a car windscreen? Where are all the security guards on Nomad? Why do robots need to lie in a hammock to recharge? And so on...

The aesthetic of the film really reminded me of classic sci-fi book covers from the 1950s and 60s (which is not a bad thing). The humanoid robots, futuristic giant city buildings and gigantic tanks are pure SF porn.

The messaging about the genocidal war being waged is somewhat heavy handed, but the main actors all handle their roles with engagement.

Well worth watching, but a few more script reviews would have made it great.

Carnival Row (2019–2023)

Steampunk, faerie, politics, love, bigotry, fanaticism and monsters - what's not to love?

[9/10 · 6 September 2023]

Set in "The Burg" (a thinly disguised Victorian London), Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevingne lead an excellent cast in a tale about humans and fey attempting to live together. The result is passionate, ugly, captivating and, most importantly, feels true.

Any criticisms that I have for this show would be nit-picking at best. So much obvious love has gone into the production, but the one thing that stood out the most for me is the world-building. The locations and inhabitants are all multi-faceted. I want to know more about the fey homeland, and their (almost lost) culture. I want to know more about The Pact. Everything has depth, and that is what draws me in, as a viewer.

I am very sorry that it is being cancelled after only two seasons, but what excellent seasons they were!