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DeeEll1
Reviews
Treehouse (2014)
Not even close to being as bad as people say.
Like another reviewer mentioned, I feel like I must've watched a different movie than most of the other reviewers.
People had criticisms about the following elements, most of which aren't flaws in the movie at all:
1. The use of the pet name "Baby Bear." I'm not sure if you've ever been to the South, but it's pretty damn common for people there--particularly those in the service industry--to call you by a pet name without knowing you. "Okay, honey, what can I getcha?" I've been called a million things by strangers in the South: honey, sweetie, babe, dear. It seemed completely natural to me when she called him Baby Bear, as she was super Southern.
2. The suggestion that the treehouse is only featured in the movie for ~10 minutes. Super not true. Because of people's reviews I actually TIMED the entire treehouse scene. It lasted from approximately 2:24am to 2:59am. And so WHAT if it wasn't the only setting? Maybe they named the movie after it because that's where the main characters MET.
3. The acting. It really wasn't bad at all. I didn't expect it to be some kind of Meryl Streep or Morgan Freeman performance, but it was entirely believable. If you think this is bad acting, then this must be the very first b-movie you've ever seen.
4. The suggestion that the "creatures" aren't able to climb trees (because Elizabeth point-blank says that she doesn't think the bigger ones can climb but that the little one can). This is all pretty much explained away when Killian says "It's like they're toying with us." Right, that IS what they were doing. Obviously they could climb trees; they have a bunch of dead bodies hanging in the trees. We find out later that these crazies were taking pictures of both Elizabeth and of their "kills"; they're obvious psychopaths, so it stands to reason that they would enjoy torturing their victims rather than just killing them straight out. Instead of immediately jumping to "this is a plot hole!" try to actually imagine the characters' motivations based on what you know of their personalities.
5. The ending. Why in god's name does anyone have a problem with this? I can't even begin to list how many movies I've seen in which the absolute "end" isn't filmed because IT'S CLEAR WHAT WILL HAPPEN. They both had huge guns; they're either gonna get the guy or he'll shoot them before they realize he's there. Whatever. Killian SAID pretty explicitly that whatever happens, happens--but Mr. Psycho needs to be punished if they can manage to do so. Seriously, if you haven't seen a movie that "leaves off" the ending, you must've only seen, like, three movies in your entire life. This is par for the course, people.
6. Elizabeth taking off her shoes. Look, she CLEARLY did that because she thought there was someone in the house, and she was trying not to make any noise. (Notice, too, that she grabbed a giant gun and walked around stealthily, given that she saw footprints and her brother was missing. If she didn't think that there was anyone in the house, I assume she would've made as much noise as she pleased.) I agree that it seemed pretty damn convenient that she'd taken off her shoes and was then injured, but her motivation for taking off the shoes is clear and totally normal. *I* take off my shoes in the house when I'm trying not to wake a sleeping family member, so given that she was concerned about being KILLED, it makes plenty of sense.
7. That the treehouse is just "there." Uhhh, it's not just there in the middle of nowhere for no reason, people. It clearly BELONGS to the crazy family living in the house. I had a treehouse in the woods behind my dad's house, and it was indeed FAR BACK in the woods. Pretty damn normal.
With that being said, there were a few minor problems, but they weren't serious enough to cause me emotional distance from the movie, which I enjoyed.
1. I don't care that the creatures weren't actually supernatural, as that's just a standard The Hills Have Eyes or Texas Chainsaw Massacre kind of thing. It's stupid to think that these "backwater" types are always growing up to be some family of depraved psychopaths, but whatever. Movies have done that for a while, so the writers just did more of the same. Nevertheless, I didn't like that all they did was grunt; I've seen plenty of videos of Dahmer and Bundy giving interviews, and they were able to speak quite eloquently in spite of their sociopathy, so I'm not entirely sure what the motivation was to have them just grunt their way through the movie.
Furthermore, I'm not sure why they made the big guy take off his shirt when he got on top of Elizabeth, unless it was to suggest that he was planning to rape her (definitely a possibility) before he decided to just punch the hell out of her.
It's at least a little weird that no one seemed to be aware of their lifestyle in all this time. Did they grunt around the guys who came to fix the telephone wires that you can see in front of their house? Did they grunt at their mom? Obviously we don't know, but that seems a bit implausible.
2. No idea why the trunk of the police car just suddenly opened for no reason. Pretty convenient.
Anyway, this really isn't a bad movie.
The Corridor (2010)
This is not a good movie, and you people need to stop giving it positive reviews.
Honestly, I'm not sure why anyone gave this movie any sort of positive review. The only reason I've given it more than 1 star was for the acting of the actor who plays "Ev" (curly hair). Not even going to bother looking up his name.
Okay, this movie is REALLY not good, you guys. It COULD have been good, but the story had far too many unexplained nonsense going on. One reviewer suggested that we DO learn about what the Corridor really is... yeah, no. No, you don't. And you'll want to prove me wrong by finding the lines in the movie--and by quoting them directly--that actually explain what's really going on. Oh, wait, there aren't any. They SUGGEST some garbage that never really makes sense, and there is literally NO NO NO upshot to any of this.
I can't imagine why anyone would suggest that this movie is "mind blowing" or otherwise makes you think--no, sorry, it does not. It forced me to wrack my brain to figure out what the crap was going on (and not in the good way), but otherwise... it had no insights into human existence, mental disease, friendship, loneliness, meaningless, etc. If you think this movie was "mind blowing, whoa, man!!!!" then you're clearly uneducated. You probably also think that The Matrix is life-altering--and you've clearly never taken a basic Philosophy 101 class in college either.
Seriously, there are a MILLION other b-horror flicks to watch that are actually "diamonds in the rough," hidden gems worth your time. Oh my god, this is NOT one of them. So angry with you positive reviewers; you need to stop reviewing things IMMEDIATELY.