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Hellraiser (2022)
Not a bad Reboot, but tough to beat Doug Bradley
Doug Bradley is iconic as the terrifying and mysterious lead Cenobyte, Pinhead. While this installment didn't do anything spectacular, it was somewhat entertaining and had the vibes of Clive Barker.
The Good: Some interesting twists, cool visuals, retains the theme of the original movies. Long enough to draw you in and create a decent story, without droning on beyond your attention span. Perhaps it is slightly too long and talky in places, but pretty watchable overall. Cool effects like the tools sticking out of people, causing agony.
The Bad: Too dark to see at times, long and slow intro, quiet and redundant conversations that don't really further the plot quickly.
The Ugly: Definitely shows 2022 era preachy virtue vibes, Cenobytes too skinny, doesn't really bring anything shockingly new to the table.
Solid 5 or 6 movie, which is more than we can say for most horror these days. Worth a second watch way in the future, maybe.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Decent Show. Especially in comparison to Disney's Crap Movies
This is a real treat and delight to anyone who grew up wanting more stuff about Boba Fett, and the gritty Western style bounty hunters that George Lucas borrowed from Sergio Leone. The movies were total trash from idiots who know nothing about Star Wars, so I am shocked that Mando and Boba Fett shows are even this good. I guess the Favreau guy is a decent writer, and someone with a brain and some balls is behind this project. You don't have to try too hard... just give us some cool locations, a decent script, and some bad ass characters with an intriguing plot/quest. If Disney could stop firing people for having different opinions, get rid of the Social Justice circus, and quit giving the reins to morons, we could have something salvageable from Star Wars. The movies were so God-awful that this show seems like gold by comparison. However, some episodes are way better than others, and the flashbacks get a bit confusing at times. Overall, this show is a solid 6 or 7. Let's just hope they don't make Boba a neutered vegan in the finale, with purple haired college kids leading an army, and women midget amputees who can fly through space and teleport everywhere like Space Jesus or some nonsense.
I Trapped the Devil (2019)
Great Idea...Mediocre execution with loose ends and nowhere to go.
I was excited by the trailer, and there are lots of good reviews and hype for this film, so I really tried to get into it. No one else watching it with me was ever interested during the runtime, though, and I can understand why. The idea is great, and I expected it to be some normal person that this crazy man has kidnapped and held in his dungeon, with chaos ensuing near the end. Either that, or some devilish fiend gets released, and scares the crap out of us, or that we find out the guy is really a serial killer or child molester, etc. Instead, we get a muddled mess, after waiting for an entire film, where some people get shot, nothing is really revealed, except that the devil is a little girl???? Or is the idea that she really was a little girl that he kidnapped, and had powers to kill everyone? Not sure, but the action is way too sparse and the ending is not scary enough to pay off. Good acting and atmosphere, but like so many horror films, it can't deliver a strong finish, as if someone didn't know what to write for the 3rd act.
CNN Tonight (2014)
You might as well watch Soviet Pravda or commit yourself to an asylum.
CNN now means Corrupt News Network or Communist News Network, and sissy journalist Don Lemonhead is at the front of this dumpster fire. Don was on the other night, basically telling people if you are unvaccinated, you deserve to be thrown out of society, not receive benefits or medical care, and you are just no longer an American citizen. The audacity and arrogance of these buttholes is beyond the pale. "Do what we say, as told to us by our corporate overlords, or we will take the roof from over your head." I can't believe these morons live in my country, founded on individual liberty and common sense, while drawing a fat paycheck to treat us like slaves. If there is any justice in this world, Lemonhead and the others on these "News" outlets will be licking ketchup off the bottom of a dumpster while fainting from everlasting diarrhea, like that which flows from their lying mouths. These people have been caught pushing fake narratives and videos so many times, it is pathetic. Maybe Don can take 45 of the vaccines and shove them up his butt, since I hear he enjoys doing this anyway, and make billions more for big pharma and help the elites further control, extort, and enslave humanity for their NWO purposes.
Trump vs the Illuminati (2020)
A Masterclass in Filmmaking: Great Cinema Returns!!!
This is one of the finest films I have ever seen in my life. The amazing CGI aliens will have you reminiscing about Spielberg, Kubrick, etc. The realism of the dialogue and script are on par with some of Scorsese's earliest work. I thought this would suck from the silly title, but man was I in for a real treat! You will not be disappointed by this movie. If you like sitting around for over an hour watching something your kid brother recorded for his Film Lit project in middle school, you will absolutely love this film. Trump in an astronaut space suit, fighting CGI alien gods in 2D slow motion is what I call classic cinema. The landscapes are breathtaking, and the angles and cameos remind me of Hitchcock. This movie will have you wondering what drugs they were on when someone decided to waste so much time on such a project. This is almost as good as Skeleton Man or Plan 9 from Outer Space, but it can't quite achieve that level. I look forward to the creators' next project--- Dung Heaps versus Sharknado Leprechauns meet the Walking Dead. Fingers crossed that it can meet or exceed this movie.
Barry Lyndon (1975)
Not Sure What all of the Fuss is About... Extremely boring and forgettable
I love Stanley Kubrick's films; I love Period Pieces and historical works; I do not love Barry Lyndon. This movie is so incredibly boring, with so much wasted time, that does nothing to further the plot or entertain the audience.
Most of the film is just grainy shots of ugly men wearing fake moles and powder and makeup, while gambling or sitting around drinking. For a 3 hour run time, with great names attached, I had expected far more than this. Others have noted that Ryan O' Neal seems very miscast, and I must agree. His behavior, stance, and accent all seem stupid to me for this movie, or for an Irishman of the period. Very little happens in this movie, and I just didn't care about any of the characters. The charisma is on par with a sleeping sloth, and the plot and dialogue are about as interesting as waiting around in a doctor's office for an unpleasant procedure. Skip this and watch Ridley Scott's "The Duelists" instead. Even Mel Gibson's "Patriot"(while inaccurate) is way better.
I ordered this movie for a few bucks on Amazon, as it was one of the few remaining Kubrick works that I had never seen. I watched a third of it and went to bed. I watched the next third on the following day. On the third day, I watched some more, and then let the rental expire before finishing the last few minutes. I don't know what it is, but this movie just lacks anything funny, moving, exciting, intriguing, or horrifying at all. So much time is wasted just observing stupid looking people in powdered faces listening to famous classical music and sitting around gambling or whatnot. I was utterly bored the entire time. Even the battle scenes weren't really anything extra, and there is no one to root for. I found all of the folks very annoying and dry. It is like listening to a monotone children's play that puts you to sleep. Absolutely nothing happens, except some duels and poor life choices. The film quality sucks too. I have seen older Kubrick films that look crisp and vivid and clear to this day, but this looks like it was filmed by a potato in 1924. Not sure how this won so many awards or has an 8+ Imdb rating, but whatever....
Unhinged (2020)
Entertaining, but really stupid...with an obese Gladiator
I like Russell Crowe, but honestly, he hasn't had many good films since the Gladiator era of the early 2000s. He was so fat in this movie, that I wondered how he was able to even get out of his truck and assault people. I have put on some pounds, too, but Russ needs a new diet plan and some physical activity. Apparently he drives around too much yelling at people.
Anyway, this movie is sort of entertaining, but only for a one-time watch. It just checks the boxes of every mundane thriller/horror flick, and the characters' decisions make no sense whatsoever. The real world also doesn't work the way in which this film pretends. If you can totally suspend your disbelief, and act like this is a coyote/roadrunner cartoon, and just enjoy Crowe's acting and fake accent, you can get a buzz and watch the movie. Just don't expect an instant classic or anything resembling great filmmaking or real life.
For instance, Crowe repeatedly rams into the lady's car and other vehicles in traffic jams on busy bridges and highways, and no one seems to care. People just sit in their cars and watch while a maniac runs into everyone and keeps bashing this woman's ride. Even GTA video games have drivers who jump out and yell, or call the cops, or fight you with a baseball bat. No one does or notices anything in this film.
The lady also gets punched and wrecked and never really has any visible damage, as others noted. The dumbest part of this movie is when Crowe follows her into a busy gas station parking lot, and the lady warns people inside that he is deranged and trying to harm her. Some good Samaritan tries to help, but Crowe runs him over in broad daylight. Instead of crashing into a building or pulling up into a crowded area, the lady just keeps running out of town in high speed chases, so he can follow her to more secluded areas. This pretty much happens the whole time, while Crowe also takes time to stop at busy diners in his wrecked and spotted truck to brutally murder patrons and homeowners like the Punisher. Not to mention, he is so fat, that he wouldn't even be able to hurt you, if people just ran away. The whole premise is just silly, and drags on for way too long. Police would have been called or someone would have just shot him before all of this happened. Maybe it could happen in a desolate wasteland in Nevada, but everywhere that he publicly attacked and pursued people was crowded like a NY City square or a parade.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
This Movie Makes No Sense....Absolutely None
I was interested to see this movie, after seeing decent reviews and a trailer. I couldn't be more disappointed though, upon viewing. They did surprise me, when it turns out the boy is not involved in some sexual relationship with the doctor, neither is the boy his long lost son or anything. It turns out that the boy just wants a dad figure or revenge on the doctor for letting the boy's father die.
However, there is a whole crap load of stuff that makes no sense, and infuriates the audience in this film.
1) Why does everyone in this movie talk like bad actors in a child's play or a local car commercial? The acting is ok, with huge stars like Colin Farrel and Nicole Kidman, but the delivery of lines is utterly absurd. Every single character talks like a quiet, emotionless robot. There are very few times this changes. No one talks in this monotone, depressed manner 24/7. Their dialogue and expressions are the same at a happy bday party or fancy event as they are at the hospital or dealing with death. It just sucks, and is laughably dumb.
2) What is with the wife and daughter lying around on the bed, with their feet towards the headboard, acting like a corpse? Does this turn the doctor on or something? Are they supposed to look like dead deer on the road? Who knows?
3) What the hell is up with the doctor telling his son about jerking off his grandpa???? Super weird and unbelievable. It was like they just wanted to throw in some homo erotic gay vibes throughout, even though this had nothing to do with much of the plot. Who jerks off their dad, unless you were being abused by him, against your will? Never heard such filth. What is up with everyone telling people in public about the daughter having her period? This never happens in real life.
4)The whole plot with the teenager making the doc's kids sick and dying-- WTF???? So, I am supposed to believe that some weird random teen can infect people with all these afflictions, and prestigious doctors and therapists can't figure any of it out? This would have been great, in the right context, but there is never any exposition or suggestion that this kid knows ANYTHING about poisons, medicine, or that he is involved in witchcraft or esoteric events, etc. This leaves you feeling like there are no rules or explanations for anything that happens. Somehow, this dork is just a magical wizard that everyone is terrified of.
5) I told my wife, the doctor has 2 main options at this point-- Tell the police this boy is threatening you and stalking you, and give them the information he warned about, so they can deal with him-- or torture the kid into telling you what he did to them. When he kidnaps the boy, they never show the parents asking what or how the teen is able to do any of this, and eventually, they just let him go.
6) Why does the dad spin around with a bag on his head, in trying to randomly decide which family member to kill? Why not just draw straws or roll dice or something? You would probably just wound the person or keep missing, especially with a bolt action rifle. That was the dumbest way to randomly shoot someone I have ever witnessed. Makes no sense whatsoever.
7) At the end, we see that the family sees the teen, and after they have killed their son, all is "normal" again. Umm...so a prominent doctor kills his son, and no one wonders what happened to him? Especially after he was see by a million people and other doctors at a hospital with all sorts of afflictions, and couldn't even walk??? No one would wonder where the kid is, or think it suspicious that he vanished forever? Also, there would be rifle bullets and holes in the walls of the house, and evidence suggesting foul play. I guess this can be written off by them making up a kidnapping story, but still far out.
This whole movie could have been great, if it had more explanation of the teen using occult powers or being a demon, or a genius of medicine or hypnosis, but there are no scenes of any of this, and many other points are disjointed. This movie is entertaining for an hour, and then it just goes downhill, pretending to be groundbreaking, but really just a fart in the wind, with no realism.
2001 Maniacs (2005)
American Pie meets Deliverance meets Yankee Obsession meets Absurdity...
This movie was listed under horror on Amazon, but I am hoping the makers were going more for comedy. Even as a comedy, this film fails on almost every level. As a Southerner, I wasn't even offended by the idea of Rebels killing off some teens in a slasher flick and being bad. I just find the level of absurdity in this film so over the top, and the acting so hammy and bad, that I don't know where to begin.
1) Why would people take a random detour down a road into the woods, and then suddenly drive right into a welcoming parade where they are the guests of honor??? Why would anyone be expecting these Northern visitors, with the Mayor and everyone waiting to immediately shower them with free room and board??? None of this made ANY sense, from the very get-go.
2) Why would a black man(with an IQ above 25) agree to stay for free in a town covered with more Rebel flags than a war museum??? Now, many people who have Confederate flags would not hurt a black person, but I know how modern black people feel, and this guy doesn't seem to like the town at all. Why would he stay with these people? Is he that desperate for a motel and some biscuits? I grew up with Rebel flags around, and a very positive view of Southern heritage, and even I found this town completely unbelievable and bizarre. There were so many flags and Rebel emblems that it was like a parody of anything in real life. Totally ruins the belief of this story. Reenactor festivals don't even act this silly or brandish so many flags.
3)Freddy Krueger as Mayor? Kind of funny, but also just weird.
4) The Acting-- LOL. With all of the above, I still went on with the story, hoping to enjoy some scares and some sort of plot. The plot is almost nonexistent, however, and the acting is BEYOND TERRIBLE. I had to laugh at the fake Southern accents, and what was with all the high-pitched male voices??? It was like watching a cartoon. Real rednecks do not talk like this!!! You may find a few girly ones with those voices, but it was absurdly distracting. I can't take them seriously as charming, scary, or anything else. Everyone was ugly or talked with a child's voice. They also are not into gay stuff for the most part, so the whole thing with the Mayor's sons having sex with the gay dude was BEYOND STUPID. LMAO. Just dumb-- on so many levels, and made no sense.
5) The Sex and Gore-- There was so much sex in this movie, that I guess they hoped that would get teen boys to watch, and replace the need for a plot. Every scene involves some sort of sex, gay sex, or sexual allusion and jokes. I was like, is this a horror movie, or American Pie: Band Camp 7?????? The Gore is so cheesy and silly that it made me roll my eyes and shake my head on numerous scenes. Impaling the gay dude with a spear? Pulling girls apart with horses? Blood coming out everyone's mouths from any type of injury? It was so overly used that it became inane and useless after 2 or 3 scenes. I have rarely seen such a dumb use of gore that is NOT SCARY in any way!!! Just stupid.
6) Poor writing. The script is beyond belief! The actors are on the level of a 4th grade play, and their lines and behaviors are beyond the pale. I guess this was the intent of this film, after reading other reviews??? IDK, but this was incredibly hammy acting, with pretty much ZERO plot or believability. I fast forwarded about 30 mins. of the movie near the end.
7) Is this really what Yankees and Hollywood bozos think of the South? Yes, there are racists, and poor people, and a strong Southern pride in the region and history of our lands, but every movie makes it seem like the writers have a complex about Southerners, and have never spent much time in real Southern states. This film feels more like you are watching foreigners and Northerners pretend to be Southerners, and feels more like a camp setting in New Hampshire or something. It may have been filmed in the South, but the setting and actors deny that feeling in many ways. This movie is like making a film about Harlem, and having everyone throwing spears and talking in African languages, while torturing people to death-- Or a movie about Italy where everyone dresses up like Mario Brothers and eats pizza and rides dinosaurs. I suppose the people were supposed to be ghosts from the old days, but wow, even these ghosts are ridiculous. No one in that period would probably have even flown the flags shown, as they are the battle flag of Northern Virginia, and became popular as the main Southern flag many years later. This film was entertaining in the fact that it was so sexualized and absurd, but fails on every other level of fear, realism, excitement, intelligence, or horror.
The Ninth Configuration (1980)
Apparently, I Just Don't Understand this type of film...
I like a lot of strange and different films that beat to different drums, or make you think about existential problems, insanity, space, God, humanity, the occult, etc. However, I just can't get into this film. With a 7 rating, and involving the man behind the Exorcist, Stacy Keach, etc. I expected this to be a very interesting and perhaps scary or poignant film. I was very disappointed-- in fact, so bored and disappointed that I couldn't even finish the last few minutes without going to sleep. The introduction of the movie, the silliness of it, the unrealistic behavior of the men and the military officers in charge, and the lack of ANYTHING exciting, funny, or mysterious-- just kills this movie. They try to be esoteric and enlightening(with scenes like Jesus on a cross on the moon, or the guy smashing atoms to walk through walls), but most of this movie falls flat. It needs more of a plot, more realism, a better setup, deeper characters, more action, and more suspense or fear to really make a mark. It fails on almost all cylinders for me, and I like WEIRD movies... I give a couple stars for trying, and for some decent actors.
1917 (2019)
ALL CAMERA WORK...No story, character development, or awesome battle scenes.
For some reason, IMDB gets rid of many of my original reviews or doesn't print them. I gave a highly detailed review, with nothing offensive, that was never allowed on the page. I have no idea why. This is quite annoying, when you have an entire critique wasted and your time wasted-- for absolutely no reason.
Anyway, I was very excited to watch this WW1 movie, but hailing it as the next Saving Private Ryan is just stupid. The movie and cinematography are very amazing, but that is it...that is truly all that goes on in this film. It is like watching cut scenes or playing a video game. Hell, even a game has more action and exciting scenes. I cannot believe they wasted all this time with hardly any real trench experiences or massive battles, etc. They didn't develop characters, and there are terrible moments where the guys should kill a German, but just run past him, so he can alert the others. WTF??? In one scene, the hero has a German chasing him, firing at him. The German falls down a few feet behind him, but seems to still be pursuing him. The hero simply rounds a corner and walks into a house with a girl and her baby, calmly spending a few hours chilling with her, as if nothing happened. What happened to the guys chasing him??? Then he jumps in a river and floats a mile or so from the enemies and walks up on a bunch of Brits just sitting around with their backs turned, listening to a singer. No sentries on guard or anything. The behavior of the unit he goes to warn is stupid as well, and nothing else pivotal ever happens. This movie is WAY overrated, and could have been a true masterpiece but is more of a 1-6 rating, rather than 8. Make a better story next time...
El hoyo (2019)
Great concept, but needed a tighter ending. Communism is also being force fed.
This movie really had me intrigued, in the vein of others like The Circle, Snowpiercer, etc. It has a good cast, dark atmosphere, and a feeling of dread and despair throughout. It is great for futuristic sci-fi fans, horror fans, gore hounds, mystery lovers, or dystopian fans. Most people will be drawn in to the basic but puzzling premise.
However, as so many other films of late, it is obvious that the globalist message and communist manifesto messages are hard at work to plant themselves into your brain. In fact, early on, the man's cellmate even says to him, "What the hell are You? A communist?" I knew that more PC brainwashing was in store for us from there. Still, I will give the writers credit for showing some valid realities about world history and societies, which are somewhat inevitable in human existence thus far.
Even with the best intentioned communists, there WILL ALWAYS BE A HIERARCHY. Just as in Orwell's Animal Farm, SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS. I guess that is the most disturbing fact that I worry about most people not comprehending-- they are returning to some lust for socialism, communism, cultural Marxism, and the belief that governments of man can solve all human problems and inequality, while stamping out and silencing the "evil dissenters". The problem is that humanity is infinitely flawed and corrupt, regardless, and these supposedly universal and benevolent systems end up flipping on the masses just like capitalism, monarchy, or any other previous system they rail against. At least with capitalism and free markets-- you actually have a chance to do better and have somewhat of a voice and free will, whether you make it or not. The past century has clearly shown us that capitalism is far superior, as is giving the public incentives to earn wealth and barter as they choose. It is not perfect, but neither is humanity. Communism in its modern form is really just another means for bankers to liquidate and control the wealth, assets, and lives of the sheep, for the elite party at the top. It is not the grassroots workers movement for equality it masquerades itself to be. For more on this, study the Russian Revolution, and how it was widely financed and associated with bankers, Western sympathizers, and secret societies with other goals in mind.
All that aside, the movie was still good, but could have been much better with a little longer runtime that develops the plot and ends with more satisfaction. As It winds to a close, it seems to run out of time to wrap up the story, and has to rush to a disappointing plot hole conclusion. They didn't have to reveal ALL of the mystery, but having a few more details or reveals would not hurt, and some of the plot holes around the Asian lady and the kid are a bit unfulfilling. I say 6 or 7, but the first half is more close to a 9. Just don't get caught up too much in all the Hollywood echo chamber nonsense and globalist conditioning-- to the point you sign your wealth and success away to elitist overlords who will simply turn the tables back around on you themselves...
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
The STUPIDEST PILE OF CRAP EVER MADE.......
IMDB is so annoying. They deleted my first, detailed review of this film-- probably because I made fun of Social Justice clowns or advocated watching other videos that prove just how bad this franchise truly is. They also deleted my review about fitness-challenged people on another show(is that PC enough for you, cry babies?).
Anyway, this movie literally has like 200 plot points that make NO SENSE.
Palpatine returns? Just lazy, and utterly cringe-inducing. He now looks like the Moonface killer from Masters of Horror, and lamer than ever. He hides an entire fleet of star destroyers under some hidden planet's surface, and then slams it up through the crust. We then find out that no one knows how to fly "up".
Bill Ray Palpatine(Mary Sue) can just do everything-- so I don't even know why we needed a trilogy for this. She is a master pilot, master Jedi, granddaughter of a Sith who is not really tempted much, she can float, fly, read minds, teleport objects, and any other nonsense imaginable. Great....
Ghost Jedi can do anything in the real world now, and everyone runs out of space fuel(a concept never mentioned in SW before). We find out that Holdo's lightspeed crash in the last movie was a one in a million shot, so that was random. There are literally horses riding on starships in space(WTF???). Weird women and social justice gurus abound everywhere, as does some insane theme about girl power in this ridiculous excuse for a trilogy of sequels. Leia was powerful in the other movies, and Mon Mothma, but apparently they just aren't as cool as purple-haired people or girls who sabotage Fin's attempts to save everyone, while spouting cliche lines about hope and love.
You have to find some map on a knife, with another thing that leads to another thing that leads to this hidden planet where Snoke cloans are being pumped out apparently. Ray steals Luke's story and his name, and the whole thing ends with me wondering what the hell is this crap????????????????
THIS IS NOT CANON, AND NEVER WILL BE, to real SW Fans. I am not that hard to please-- this whole thing has simply been ruined by idiots at Disney and PC professors of teeth-gnashing idiocy. The plots are terrible, the ideas are recycled, and the physics and reasoning are worse than that of a 7 year old who wants cookies at bed time.
DON'T GIVE DISNEY ANYMORE OF YOUR MONEY, FOLKS!!! They were once great with their classic movies and cartoons, but this is the stupidest garbage ever produced, while they throw it at you with a straight face-- Just stupid.
The Irishman (2019)
I love Scorsese and all the great mobster flicks, but this one is OVERRATED...
I love all the films of this genre-- Casino, Once Upon a Time in America, Goodfellas, Godfather, Mean Streets, Scarface, The Departed, Carlito's Way, Taxi Driver, etc. Scorsese makes some awesome epics, and I like a wide variety of other directors and their films in this vein. However, I find the hype and the hooplah around this one to fall a bit flat. I am sure I will receive some hate for this opinion, but this movie is nowhere near the level of Goodfellas or Scarface.
1) The Run Time= I am fine with a 3.5 hour movie, but it needs to be great enough to fill that amount of time. I mean, at least 60-75% of it should be amazing. This movie is WAY TOO LONG for no reason. I can think of about 5 scenes that could be cut or condensed that did nothing to further the plot.
2) The Aging and De-Aging of Actors= This was actually very distracting from the movie, and made me laugh in several scenes. Was this really NECESSARY? It seemed cheap and corny, and it really takes away from the movie instead of helping it. Wouldn't it be better to just get younger actors to play the really young scenes of DeNiro, Pesci, Pacino, etc??? No one is buying the age of these guys, even with CGI technology and effects. It ruined the belief of the moment.
3) Pesci looked 139 years old throughout the movie, even in scenes where he is supposed to be young.
4) Harvey Keitel's talent and presence was greatly wasted, as I barely remember anything that he did or said.
5) The Women= the ladies are mentioned at the start of the film by name, and then become completely irrelevant to anything that goes on for 3 hours. They were extremely underdeveloped. This was one thing that complimented Goodfellas well- Ray Liotta's wife was always in the mix, or screwing something up, or threatening to kill him, etc.
6) Lack of Suspense or Action= This movie became very run-of-the-mill boring after an hour or so. Nothing surprised me, nothing was exciting, and the action is so neutered and far between that I forgot I was watching a gangster flick. I can still remember Pesci stabbing a guy in the throat with a pen in Casino, or Scarface's last stand, or the beatings given out in Goodfellas. This movie barely had ANY MEMORABLE SCENES that stand out. The only great ones were a couple of really quick and realistic shootings of guys on the street or in an eatery by DeNiro.
7) Pacino as Hoffa= He doesn't even resemble Hoffa at all, and neither do other people portraying certain characters. Robert Kennedy comes to mind as well.
This is a decent movie, with great production values, classic actors, a legendary director, and nostalgic music with a great soundtrack. However, I just think a 8 or 9 rating is BS for this project. EVERYONE IS SIMPLY SAYING WHAT THEY ARE TOLD TO SAY, just like every other overhyped movie or author or artist. It is a good movie, but far from a masterpiece, or Scorsese's crowning achievement, despite what everyone says.
Scarface, Goodfellas, Godfather, Departed= all light years beyond this movie, and with a shorter run time. This film needed to be tightened up and given some better scenes. It is interesting, but overbloated and overhyped due to the cast and director-- which can do no wrong in the minds of the average critic or average joe.
Five Easy Pieces (1970)
A Very Weird and Boring movie about degenerates who can't find meaning in life.
This film is somewhat interesting for a bit, as are most movies involving Jack Nicholson or Karen Black. However, there just isn't very much going on in this film. After watching it 2 or 3 times, I'm pretty sure I will never watch it again, unless it comes on TV while I am visiting someone. I guess you could take that artsy approach that everyone does, about how it is very realistic and the dark, understated portrait of a man that doesn't fit into anything, anywhere-- but even then, it needs much more to truly make this film bearable or classic. The funniest scene is probably Jack getting out of his car in a traffic jam to play piano on top of another vehicle.
There is really nothing to care about in this fatalistic, boring tragedy of a film/life. Jack Nicholson is the son of some rich family, though none of his life is really explained well. He abandons his great piano lessons and talent, apparently, to run away from his weird father and unlikable family members. He works on oil rigs, and rides around with hippies or waitresses, or whatever, losing his temper with people and treating them like crap. He really has no redeeming qualities at all, other than his musical talents. Then, he messes with his brothers wife upon revisiting his dying father's estate. There are some funny scenes or lines about stupid nonsense in diners or cars, but nothing exciting ever happens. No great mystery is revealed, no redemption is found, nothing scary to brood over, no epic battles or real fights that actually matter, no compelling goals or plot to speak of.
This is just another one of those, "Let's do a story about how life sucks and no one cares about anything or other people. Let's feature a couple of big name actors and make it musical and artistic, and at least half of critics and the public will eat this up." Yes, life can be nasty and unfulfilling, and so many things with family or career or love can go wrong-- but with characters like the ones in this film, it is easy to see WHY they go wrong. No one seems to be trying to give meaning or sacrifice anything for anyone. Sure, life sucks-- but it sucks a whole lot more when you are raised by cold dictators with no real love or morals, no belief in nation or God, etc. and you just look to get what you can squeeze out of people with no plans, principles, or logic. No wonder you are empty and vapid-- people like this offer nothing of worth. This film is quite overrated, even though it is ok for a one time watch, and I do enjoy countless other Nicholson gems.
Crawl (2019)
Not Bad, but could have been a lot better...
This was an interesting concept, especially when you think about the dangers of Florida and Louisiana lurking around, from gators to spooky swamps, to released pythons and such. The script and characters in this movie are really more of a 2 or 3 rating. I felt the run time was too short, and needed a few more elements or developments to really make this a horror/thriller classic.
I really like Barry Pepper in stuff like Saving Private Ryan or Knockaround Guys. He plays a good tough guy or young asshole side character, but I just wasn't really feeling him as a grizzled dad. I never believed he was the character the whole time-- just Barry Pepper stuck in a basement, reading generic dad phrases and featuring in flashbacks. This was a very bizarre choice for the role of dad, in my opinion, but whatever. I kept waiting for him to start reciting the Lord's Prayer in a Southern accent, and blow holes through gators with his rifle, but maybe we can get that in a sequel. Lol.
My wife really enjoyed this one, and there is enough action and suspense to allow you to suspend disbelief in places, just enough to enjoy the flick. The cops or emergency workers seem a bit goofy and useless, but I guess it could happen. I think there was even a scene where the girl retrieve's a cop's gun and tries to fire, but it isn't chambered. Huh? What cop doesn't have a bullet chambered on duty? Maybe he wasn't a cop or because of the storm he just didn't rack one, but this seemed odd. It was also very convenient that the gators were sometimes all over everyone and everywhere, attacking like maniacs, and other times, you could just chill with blood on you in the water, and they would vanish or swim past someone.
The amount of coincidences are also a bit hammy and silly, such as everyone getting trapped in a basement and then a book shelf falls on the only door out. I wish there had been some other stuff in the film too, other than just the swimmer setup and some lame flashbacks. The first 25 minutes are quite boring to me, and the film is too dark to see what is going on in the opening basement scenes. I guess this is realistic, but it makes it tough to even see what was going on. I figured out there was more than one gator early on, but my wife couldn't even see the action enough to tell. Not nearly enough guns were involved, for people in a rural gator area. I would have killed 2 or 3 gators just for fun, with all the guns most Southern folks keep on hand.
Anyway, this is an exciting flick with a few scares and some new ideas, and it will definitely entertain you, though I am a bit sorry I spent money renting it. If my wife hadn't been excited by the premise, I would just wait to see this for free somewhere.
Midsommar (2019)
A Wasted Opportunity.... Good theme, great cinematography, and then Gong Crash.
I was excited to see this film, as I enjoyed the director's first outing with Hereditary, and I like stuff about the occult and horror films in general.
The whole "beautiful mysterious pagan village" theme was cool, and I was anxious to see what great storytelling and character development or twists might await me, especially with a really long run time of 2 and a half hours.
Well....All I can say is that this was a big letdown. The scenery is gorgeous, the idea is cool, the mystery is alluring, and everything was set up for a grand journey into fear or revelation---but...nothing...ever...really...quite...happens, aside from the most obvious bullcrap that I could have told you from watching the trailer, or watching movies like Wicker Man.
I mean, honestly, the whole movie is nothing but a stupid rehash of Wicker Man, with some commentary or underlying themes about rotting relationships, family, depression, and the futility of life. We finally find out midway through the film that the black dude and the blonde's boyfriend are both trying to write a thesis paper on other cultures or some crap, but I can't even remember a single character's name from this movie. That is how boring the characters are. The blonde is sad cause her deranged sister killed off her family and committed suicide or something at the beginning of the film, and she is in a lame relationship that seems to be spinning its wheels. They decide to visit some stupid place in Sweden, which is the homeplace of one of their friends, but there really is nothing else of substance, resembling a plot.
There were a lot of missed opportunities here, with a great setting for real heroes and villains with depth, but no one pulled the trigger on this concept. Many scenes feel like they are filmed 100 yards away from the characters having a dialogue, so you can't even tell who is talking at times. There are literally about 28 scenes of idiots sitting at a table, talking at an outdoor table, drinking at the table, standing in the field near a table, eating at the table, dancing around the table, and sitting at the table again, with little explanation of what the rituals are or what is going on(though I recognized references to the May Queen early on, reminding me of occult and esoteric practices of old, and the reference to this in Stairway to Heaven by Zeppelin).
Anyway, there are very few moments of fear, and this movie was about as scary as Vincent Price muttering nonsense in a cape from Walmart. Hereditary was WAY scarier, with more atmosphere and presence. This is subpar, by comparison, and really left me wondering how such a talented director filmed so much crap with no payoff. Then, they just stick the guy in a bear suit and burn him at the end???? PUHLEASE. I already knew this was going to happen from the trailer. I hoped there would be WAY more to the story. NONE of the village people are really developed, or given interesting motives for anything, and the main characters are as boring as your child's 4th grade play. I LITERALLY CAN'T REMEMBER ONE NAME OF THESE PEOPLE IN THE FILM. That is just pathetic. The part where one of them takes a leak on a tree, and a villager cries about it and cusses at him was just hilarious. It comes off as very corny and juvenile. Where was the fear? The story? The character development? The irony? The plot twist? The horror? The substance? The people to root for or against? The realism? The new stuff that would make this different in some way from other folk horror cult films of the past??? I don't know, but it surely isn't here.
The characters are incredibly stupid too, and this isn't even a teen slasher flick from the 80s. I expected more from this level of production. Like, they hear people screaming in the woods in the distance, and their friends are vanishing, but they move along like this is normal at several points in the movie. They drink or eat stuff that is given to them, even after seeing that this group assists their villagers in suicides, and bangs them in the head with hammers!!! I would already figure I was in a Jim Jones celebration, and quickly put down the Kool Aid.
Overall, I give it 3 stars, as the scenery is breathtaking, the music is unsettling, and it was not the worst movie I've seen. However, this is no masterpiece, and it really isn't horror at all. More like a boring documentary about bozos having sex in a flowerfield and rehashing old plot lines with absolutely NOTHING new. I couldn't believe how lame this plot was, after 150 minutes of crap. PRETENTIOUS AND BORING, with what basically amounts to lazy plagiarism.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
A Fun Ride for fans, but not really a necessity. Worth a watch for Nostalgia...
At this moment, I find the movie to have a 7.8 rating, which is cool, as I literally gave it a 7.5 in my mind upon viewing yesterday.
I was excited to see what kind of new stuff they had in store, but was already wondering how much more excitement there could be-- given the resolution of most issues in the Breaking Bad finale. So, naturally, they fill some of the 2 hr. run time with flashbacks, and weird scenes from Jesse's past. All of them are pretty decent, though, dredging up some cameos from some favorites, including Walter himself. I was disappointed about not seeing Lawyer Saul or the Chicken Man or some of my other personal faves, but no big deal.
I won't give too much away, but I did enjoy the "Wild West" shootout, in which Jesse pulls a classic Clint Eastwood move by faking the guys out with one pistol, while blasting from his pocket with another. There are some good and tense moments, but I was hoping for a little more action, and some of the flashbacks leave you like, "WTF???" Like, why would Todd ever risk bringing Jesse everywhere alone, and why would Jesse not take multiple opportunities to escape? Stockholm syndrome, or total fear of Uncle Jack's Biker Brigade?? Perhaps, but I thought the whole disposal of a cleaning lady with these two was absurd, given the circumstances. Fun, but absurd.
I must have missed something about the guys posing as cops. I don't really remember precisely why they were involved, but I need to go back and rewatch the series I guess. Maybe they worked for the Pest Company? I can't recall, but that was still a tense standoff.
Overall, this is fun romp down memory lane, but also feels a bit unnecessary. It doesn't hurt any credibility of the stars or story, so I guess they pulled off a basic success. It definitely entertained me as a fan of the show and spin-offs; I just would have added a couple other elements or scenes to spice it up. Enjoy...
Southbound (2015)
Very Creepy, but suffers the same fate as many horror films-No Real Conclusion
This is an entertaining flick, and hits the spot on many notes, but it just doesn't tie everything together in a sensible fashion or satisfying conclusion. You have several anthology stories that take place on this road to nowhere, but in the end, the movie itself leads to nowhere. I was able to satisfy myself by saying that this whole world in the film is a "NIght Gallery" or "Twilight Zone" throwback to episodes where people were in Hell or Limbo, basically, but this is never satisfactorily proven, and events from each short story don't link up that well.
The atmosphere is great, the film is creepy, there are numerous tropes from classic horror films that work well here, and there was potential for this to be a true masterpiece. It seems the writers had a really good idea, but couldn't come up with an original ending or overarching theme, or ran out of funds. The girl band getting kidnapped by a cult of weird people was cool, but what the hell does it have to do with any of the other stories, or the flying demon things? The guy hitting one of the girls on the highway and going to the hospital was a tense situation, but why is no one around, and why is his phone call answered by some bag lady in a phone booth? Why is the fat guy in the bar able to attack a gunman with some weird lobster hand? Are they all just demons tormenting people??? Why do albino naked people attack the shotgun-wielding dude who came to save his sister? Are they just forms of the other flying demons? What were the three masked killers truly after, when they attacked the family at night? They said it was for the dude's daughter, but they never seemed to steal anything or explain how it was beneficial, and the dying man who was stabbed seems to allude to the fact that he wronged them and is sorry, but this is never really explained in any way, and then the film ends abruptly.
The only conclusion one could possibly draw, is that this is some sort of Hell on Repeat, or a bad dream that you might have which truly bewilders and terrifies you, but has no true meaning-- just jumbled parts and fears from your inner mind and soul. This one will keep you guessing and keep you thrilled, which is great, but unfortunately, it will keep you guessing after the credits, and let you down on meaning.
Eden Lake (2008)
A Decent Horror Flick with good ideas, but really stupid characters.
This one has a nice take on "Lord of the Flies" or barbaric kids attacking people in the woods. It could even be seen as a social commentary on the way kids are being raised to be selfish idiots who run their parents' lives today, and are untouchable by teachers and authority figures in some settings. It has some tense moments, some scares, some gore, and some interesting ideas.
However, the downside is that the protagonists are so mind-numbingly stupid, and the plot is pretty implausible.
When the guy realizes he is being targeted by crappy teens, why would he keep approaching them unarmed(oh, that's right. It is England, but at least get a knife). I would never approach a group of teens that already stole my car, exposed their genitals, and cussed me out-- at night in the woods, with my hot girlfriend and no weapons or help.
Why does everyone drive a car so fast to ensure they wreck it? Once you are clear of the kids, drive at a slow pace until you find a road. There is no way you should be running into trees or other objects at 60 mph. This happens several times and is a bad horror movie cliche.
Why does the gf hide and watch the torture of her lover???? For God's sake, either attack the kids or (more sensible)-- run as hard as you can to a place with a phone signal or a business where you can get help.
Is every child in this area a psychopath??? Even the bullied kid helps them commit torture, theft, and murder???? What did these kids think would happen once they stole a car, tried to run over people, tortured them to death, light people on fire, get their buddy killed, etc????? I find it hard to believe that all 7 kids are going to go along with this without running away or squealing to someone.
What does the blonde step on while running away near the power lines??? Do they just plant spear heads in the middle of the grass to impale people??
The bf climbs into random homes and breaks in????? WTF?
Of course, EVERY SINGLE person they run into is a relative of these evil kids, and will do anything to protect them.
The ending is very anticlimactic. I like the fact that they give it a dark ending, but it doesn't really feel like a good stopping point. There should have been a little more excitement or reasoning.
Overall, this is better than many other crappy horror flicks you will watch, but it could have had a much better script and reasoning, with characters that are truly put into a bad situation that they can't plausibly help. My first inclination is not to break in peoples' houses or stick around a lake, once my tire has been flattened and everyone is rude or dangerous....please write these premises better in the future.
Salinui chueok (2003)
I was let down by the high ratings....
I love Asian cinema, and good movies of many genres from across the world. I think Korea has some of the best new films I've seen in years, compared to the dead drivel oozing from America and Hollywood these days. Admiral: Roaring Currents is a good example, as is Outlaws, and there are several epic drug or detective dramas and serial killer thrillers like "I Saw the Devil"--- absolute masterpieces, or at the least, excitingly different takes on modern thrillers. There are many others I can't remember by name, but you get the point. I enjoyed "Outlaws" the other night, which has a 7 rating, so when I saw that this film has over 8, I was thrilled. I had contemplated watching it for some time, and even got my wife to watch(she is not nearly as into foreign flicks, but enjoyed the Handmaiden and a few other horrors or thrillers from Asia.
Anyway, this was intriguing, and had the potential to be very spooky and chilling. I just found that the direction they took with this made everyone seem humorous, disjointed, and inept idiots. The local cops are so unbelievably lazy and stupid that it ruins the realism. The pacing is bad, and way too slow or comedic for such heavy material in places. I was really hoping for a big twist, only to be let down by a "it could be anyone, even you" ending for finding the killer. There are many holes in logic in this movie, and I really need to read what the true story is based on-- because this surely cannot be the full true story. There are interesting moments, and the cinematography and music are quite haunting in places. The 8.3 or whatever score is a bit absurd, though. I can name at least 5 Korean films that are ranked lower than this one, but are extremely better in action, pacing, acting, script, and payoff. Worth a watch, but I was fooled by the over-the-top ratings and hype surrounding this film.
UFC's Ultimate 100 Greatest Fights (2009)
Good value for the price, though a bit dated by now.
I have loved the UFC for over a decade, and my friends and family do as well. Having watched many of the available full fights left on platforms today, I found that tons of fights are no longer easily accessible. Youtube now blocks everything or cuts movies and fights short(they used to have lots of full videos), and Netflix doesn't have much to offer in this vein either, for all their pros. I decided to order this set, and it hasn't disappointed for the most part.
Some fights are missing that many wanted included, and I heard that Dana White has beef with some fighters and contracts, so that affected a few on the list. Some are so damn old that the format is smaller on your screen, and the introductions are hit and miss. However, you get 100 full fights, some with talk, others straight into the fight-- and many are true and instant classics. Lots of Chuck Liddell, Wanderlai Silva, Sean Sherk, Kenny Florian, Anderson Silva, Sugar Rashad, Matt Hughes, GSP, etc. plus some less memorable fights that go the distance and really impressed me. Some fights are quick knockouts, but most of them go at least a few rounds or all the way.
Good bang for the buck, but we need a new set like this that covers recent fights from 2009 on up, as there are many new great fighters to showcase.
Only for One Night (2016)
Really cliche story...boring acting...forgettable crap...lame leading man.
My wife and I knew that this was a generic thriller going in, but man, this one stinks more than necessary, even for a low-budget paint by numbers film.
We sped up most of the movie, as it was boring, but you know a horror or suspense movie will suck when they don't even have enough material to fill 90 minutes. This one clocks in at a few minutes under that.
The leading man is better in some other movies, but he seems corny in this one, and adds nothing to the performance, other than the part where everyone enjoyed seeing him smash the seductive and psycho sister.
The women were all like cardboard and their performances were lame in many places. My wife died laughing when the man reveals the affair to his wife, and she says "Am I not good enough for you?" Girl, Bye. Every black woman and many white women are not going to react like this at all. Most women would have been beating him with a frying pan or screaming their lungs out. It would have been one thing if he just hooked up with her, but the other woman is pregnant as well???? Dude, you are screwed...
This is basically a really poor version of Fatal Attraction, working with whatever junk they have, with a little classy or urban flair. I have seen many similar movies with more value.
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
Mediocre at best. Not the SW we were looking for; you can go about your business
Disney sucks major donkey parts lately. To make matters worse, they have taken over a major portion of modern entertainment, as if they are the evil and boring Sith lords of ruining your childhood and general crap.
Disney's takeover of SW, along with all these other bozos, including Ron Howard, the feminist peanut gallery, the PC choir, and unnecessary characters and miscast Hollywood B-listers----- Is ABSOLUTELY killing a great saga.
The great thing about a series like SW is that it was something to look forward to in days gone by. Now, you are seeing a SW universe movie released like Saturday morning toy commercials. There are way too many movies being made, trying to cash in on the SW name and nostalgia. Rogue One was ok, but not really a masterpiece, Force Awakens is a childish carbon copy of New Hope done poorly, and Last Jedi is the worst piece of cinematic garbage in recent memory. This Rian Johnson person or Kathleen or George Lucas should all be ashamed of the recent abominations being produced by the company that is also trying to buy up everything and charge more for lame crap.
SOLO is ok, but you can tell it isn't that great when I have already taken a nap during the viewing, and am now writing reviews while half-heartedly watching. This is entertaining in a few spots, but it is mostly just lots of comedic chase scenes with little plot and dumb explanations for how Solo came to be the man he is. The movie feels too long for such boring and mindless programming, the lines are cheesy, the droid companion sucks, and Lando being played by Donald Glover is just stupid-- I don't care what you say-- this is another poor casting choice, though Glover does sound like Billy Dee Williams at times-- but he should, as he is an actor studying one dude and trying to simply replicate his general sound and style. He just doesn't feel cool like WIlliams, though--
---And all the recent PC cheese NEEDS TO GO. Pansexual heroes? Ugly women with noses like torpedoes(Last Jedi)? Plots that make no sense? Side characters or robots or aliens that no one cares about? Constant public service announcements from lame women that don't even look convincing? Woody Harrelson being miscast in movie that seems utterly stupid for him to be in? Yes, Folks!!!!!!!! We have all that and more, in plentiful abundance, now that SW has become another empty shell full of pointless crap. Stop making so many dumb installments that aren't even useful, and have me bored to death or annoyed by your Social Justice bent or pitiful cliches in the name of a cash grab.
Nameja gredzens (2018)
7 is a little high for this one, but I give it a 7 because it reaches higher than expected.
I thought this might be a really terrible film, as I had never heard of it, and most lesser-known sword and sandal movies are usually cheesy and poorly produced. I usually give them a chance anyway, though, and this one actually had me engaged and impressed for most of the nearly 2 hour run time. It is different in showing Baltic nations, and I had never seen much about Latvia and that region, especially during the Crusader period. I hoped it would be similar to "Arn", and in many ways, it delivers.
The production value and film quality are great. There are striking visuals and great combat scenes for something no one has heard of. The protagonist is ok, but could have been slightly miscast; however, he pulls this off decently. The other characters are pretty good, even if the script and motivations are a bit simplistic. The focal point on the ring becomes a bit comical at time, as if this is a high school LOTR production, and there could have been more character development, explanations for why people do things, and bigger scenes-- but I feel this is mostly due to budget constraints.
This one is definitely worth a watch, and it had me interested throughout most of the movie, which is more than I can say for many blockbuster A-list movies released lately. I will have to research more on the history of all this, as I am a history buff, but know little of this region in that period.
Give it a try...if the filmmakers had more time and a bigger budget, I feel they could have made a 8 or 9 rating film.