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Reviews
Clean (2021)
A vanity project - this is why actors should stay away from the writing/producing room.
A blatant vanity project for Adrian Brody - that becomes obvious at the 'suiting up' moment before the climax - our protagonist straps all kinds of weaponry to himself while 'bathing' before battle, then proceeds to light a cigarette with a blow torch - this movie ain't got the cheese factor for that!
I usually love a slow burn revenge thriller, but this goes nowhere until the last 30min when we finally get our John Wick kill fest, and it's too dark to see anything.
It struggles to find an identity. Is it John Wick/Nobody kill fest fun? Or slow burn character study in the vain of Drive. The sad conclusion is, neither.
The Lords of Salem (2012)
Wow, a surprising real film with a likeable character!
Rob Zombie's 5th feature film, it wasn't long before I realised that I was watching an actual movie.
It's incredibly well made with a breathable slow pace, creepy imagary, and unsettling doom clearly inspired by macabre Witch films of the 70's - ala Suspiria.
Now, I like Rob Zombie's music - takes me back to high school days - but I'm not a huge fan of his films - the exception being The Devil's Rejects which is a very well made outlaw road movie in the same vein as Natural Born Killers.
But The Lords of Salem is a close second!
And our lead actress, Sherie Moon Zombie is playing a real human being here, and she is perfectly cast. Her character is a recovering addict, flawed, far from annoying and not the same character she always gets stuck playing - you really care about her. I wanna see Zombie and her do MORE films like this!
It's unsettling, creepy, and the opposite of Zombies usual white trash vomit enduring nightmares.
This is good horror.
Dune (2021)
A magnificent beginning to an epic story.
Wow!
Dennis Villeneuve was the PERFECT person to direct this epic adaptation. Visually stunning, and the right amount of slow burn - I loved the pace which was speedier than his previous films.
Every shot is a work of art - he's the master of clever sci-fi.
The cast is on point and boy what a cast!
Timothee Chalamet is PERFECTLY cast as Paul. Every role almost seemed custom fit to each actor, yet Jason Momoa was the surprise heart of this film.
It's no surprise that this does feel like half a movie - which I'm happy with, and glad they didn't rush the second half of the story like the original adaptation by David Lynch. I just hope that Warner Bros. Green lights the sequel sooner rather than later, because with this director, this cast, and everyone that worked on the film 100% deserves it. At a 2 and a half hour run time, it flew by for me.
Absolutely recommend.
Candyman (2021)
It commits the worst time in Horror - it's BORING.
I was initially excited to find out there would be a Candyman reboot/sequal with Jordan Peele attached... Then I watched it.
The film is choc full of pretentious artistic millennials who savour every word out of their own mouths with immense self importance. Good choice of characters if you want your audience to root for their deaths, but on that note there's hardly any. Of course being a modern remake/sequal there must be a heavy social political message, but I had a concussion with how heavy handed this film was. The lead, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II was the only good aspect of this movie, but everyone else was a caricature of the kind of people you'd find in trendy hipster bars who are eager to give you their opinions on how to change the world.
It's slow (in a bad way), lack of kills (hang on, isn't this a slasher franchise?), pretentious, and boring.
Malignant (2021)
You can't say it's not taking chances.
James Wan's latest film is an homage to past B-grade horror schlock films.
We get haunted looking castle-hospitals, spooky two story houses that triple in size once inside, and a lot of creepy flickering lights and old fashioned technology like VHS and radios.
The film looks and feels like a comic book movie in a cheesy mid 2000's kind of way with a Sam Raimi flair.
The script and acting is very over the top and almost spoofy.
Then we get the reveal of the killer/entity and my God... This is the most original, stupid, crazy, off the wall reveal I've ever seen in a horror film. Probably the most original horror villain since Jeepers Creepers.
Swooping cinematic angles, epic cinematography, and a bombastic score - more than the film needed or deserved at times - but also appreciated.
This film will without a doubt divide audiences. Is it a parody? Is it serious? Whatever it is, it's an homage to horror films of a bygone era that you would think wouldn't be made by a large studio. But here we are with James Wan and Warner Bros.
Val (2021)
A true artist!
The documentation of a career and life searching for truthful performances, was sometimes perceived - by media and industry folk - as self indulgent. The life and career of one of Hollywood's chameleons, this documentary was both intriguing and engrossing. After suffering from throat cancer, Val Kilmer seems reminiscent of a career and life that didn't necessarily go according to plan, but one that should be celebrated none the less - along with a sense of humour that has only gotten stronger with age. A true actor and artist - although sometimes to his detriment - Val Kilmer.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Better than the 2hr. trailer that was released in 2016
The latest comic book adaptation directed by everyone's favorite Twitter personality, James Gunn.
We have a whole new band of characters here; DEADSHOT 2.0 Bloodsport - the sexiest assassin played captivatingly dry by Idris Elba. Peacemaker played hilariously by John Cena - his comic timing is impeccable. Rat-Catcher - who is a modern day Pied Piper and the absolute heart of the film. King Shark - the comic relief, and the most tragic of the characters Polka-Dot Man - who is easily the most powerful and tortured of the crew.
Rick Flag and Harley Quinn - the marketable character for cosplayer's - are also back.
Deliciously dark humour, hilarious gore, and a streamlined storyline. The third act gets a little too over the top - the pseudo Brain Slugs from Futurama make an appearance - but all in all this is a solid action film.
Jungle Cruise (2021)
The Mummy on cruise control.
The latest Disneyland attraction to get the Hollywood treatment.
If you liked The Mummy (1999), chances are you'll like this, because structurally it's the same movie. Even the characters are identical; our educated independent English woman lead on a quest, her flamboyant self involved comedic relief brother, The Morally ambiguous scruffy handsome hero, the conniving swindling funny little businessman, and an undead cursed enforcer hell bent on completing a ritual.
Farcical humor, high def action editing in ADHD, and a story that barrels through nonstop - until we slow right down in the 3rd act.
Less Jungle Cruising and more River boating of the Caribbean.
Fear Street: 1666 (2021)
American Gothic Horror, for an hour..
The Back to the Future III of the trilogy, going back to the origin of Shadyside's curse. Magnificent looking American Gothic Horror with the classic McCarthy trial witch hunts. Well directed and shot - although accents are a bit all over the place. Gives a nice twisty reveal to the towns curse. Although unfortunately you'll need to see the 1st film to get any of what's going on here. However creepy enough to keep you interested before we jolt back to 1994 for the epic showdown - which in all honesty was entertainingly exciting.
Fear Street: 1978 (2021)
Better Friday 13th remake than the Friday 13th remake.
If the 1st film was an homage to SCREAM, this is without a doubt a love letter to Friday the 13th. A straight up gore fest set in the nostalgic era of slasher horror: 1978. Immensely better than the 1st installment, these characters feel much more familiar in the genre. Hits all the cliches in the right places, with gruesome gore - was not expecting this much. Deliciously horrific.
Fear Street: 1994 (2021)
Goosebumps meets Scream.
An annoying Monster Squad of teens shouting a lot about what's going on - despite how convoluted everything feels. An homage to 90's Slasher flicks - SCREAM being the obvious one here - it all feels too epileptic and manic to get scared. Some decent gore with irritating characters.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Back to the future of Aliens!
Chris Pratt goes back to the future! This film surprised me. It was good solid action adventure explodey shooty shooty goodness with a story. The actors were great. The story was engaging enough. And although the time travel info explanation was a tad JJ Abrams-esque, it didn't take away from a damn good time. Think Aliens, meets World War Z, meets Edge of Tomorrow.
Black Widow (2021)
Too little, too late, too convoluted.
LONG overdue, but fizzles. The 1st half of the film looks amazing - we have Cate Shortland to thank for that. Then Black Widow takes a back seat in her own film for - I must admit charming - Red Guardian & Yelena. Blofeld's plan from On Her Majesty's Secret Service is recycled here, then the CGI food fight begins! Not a great swan song for such a beloved Marvel character, more of an off pitch duck.