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GlenjaminX
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The Assistant (2019)
Critics Ruin Movies
I watched this movie because of Julia Garner. I'd seen her in several films and liked her work. However, I have to say she surprised me in this one.
I think Garner did a fine job relaying the angst of a new employee navigating a crappy job with unfriendly coworkers and a nasty boss who is also a serial philanderer, but you stay because there's the promise of a golden future. I've had jobs like that. In fact, millions of people have jobs like that today.
Where everything falls apart for me is that this move scored a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes. I sat through the entire movie waiting for something to happen and it never did. That's when I realized this film was essentially a treatise on the struggle of late Millennials and Generation Z in a corporate America that doesn't recognize their unique gifts and talents.
Here's a newsflash: Nobody cares about your life, life isn't fair, karma doesn't exist, and the bad guy wins all the time. Do you remember the former president of the United States? Do you think that guy will ever face any consequences for what he did?
Pretend you never saw this movie. If you hate your job so much that you quit after five weeks, you're going to have a tough life. Find a job, work hard, keep you head down, never go to HR (they are there for management), and maybe, someday, you'll get a break. If you're talented, hardworking and likeable, you will move up or on to other opportunities. Garbage like this movie, reinforced by mindless critics who live in an alternate reality, does nothing but tell impressionable people that work and life are hopeless and there's nothing you can do except be miserable. Don't buy in to it.
Holmes Family Rescue (2021)
Yellow Is Not An Inviting Color
I watched a recent episode and saw experience and intuition lose out to child. The show is built around the father who is obviously a talented artisan, but deferring (when you know you're right) to your amateurish daughter because she has an "eye for design" is always a mistake. Haven't we seen enough of kids working for their parents? I hope the producers wake up because this thing is headed for cancellation.
The Healer (2016)
A Contrived, Embarrassing Salute To Hallmark
I could feel myself cringe as I realized what I was watching. My first clues were the ridiculous car and the very prominent Catholic priest. I held out hope that this film would turn and surprise me. Sadly, it went straight into sappy, mindless dream fantasy, and destroyed itself. I did give three stars for a couple of decent performances, turned in despite the eye-rolling script. I'm still trying to understand how this landed on Amazon Prime.
Unsellable Houses (2019)
Perpetuation Of Uninspired, Cringe-Worthy "Renovation"
Watching this show is reminiscent of looking at my pictures from middle school. I had zero life experience and had no idea what I was doing. Similarly, these two ladies seem to believe that slapping gaudy, bright visual elements on homes somehow suddenly makes them many times better and more sellable.
I just watched an episode called "Mid-Mod Oasis," where they took a beautiful little home that "wouldn't sell," made cheap and ugly additions and now there are dozens of offers. Please don't insult our intelligence. This is precisely the kind of garbage that has driven me away from HGTV.
Coherence (2013)
Confused, Bewildered and Lost
Almost to prove a point to myself, I sat through this entire movie. After the first twenty minutes of inane, intersecting dialog and ridiculous camera work, I could finally see some slight character development. This was quickly erased by incoherent plot points, terrible acting and a leaky, sloppy and poorly developed script. The interaction of characters seemed so contrived and forced at times it actually felt painful to watch the actors. Fortunately, I feel quite certain they had no clue. A listless idea of a movie that simply confused and distanced viewers. The film did nothing but detract from the craft.
Flipping 101 (2020)
Updated Review
I was a big fan of the original "Flip or Flop" with Tarek and Christina, but was pretty doubtful about this show. After watching most episodes, I have to admit that I have mixed feelings.
As a former IT software development manager and certified project manager, most of the advice Tarek provides is excellent. Multitasking, pushing contractors hard, negotiating costs and change orders and setting firm delivery dates with penalties is great advice. Perhaps it's my background, but this seems like common sense to me.
Unfortunately, most of the flippers on this show don't seem to have a clue. They don't listen to Tarek, they make major unplanned changes without considering the implications and none of them seem to be able to keep contractors in line.
Perhaps this is the intent of the show. Unfortunately, I think it often comes across as new flippers are incompetent, headstrong morons that think they know better than a highly experienced professional.
I know that HGTV has to make the show interesting, but I think the underlying vibe is that most new flippers are idiots. This is just my opinion.
Nonetheless, I still enjoy the show. Tarek is a skilled leader and mentor, and his advice is amazing. I'll continue to watch and see how the show progresses.
Good Bones (2016)
Flipping For The Financially Inept
What kind of professional flippers buy homes for pennies and then sells them for hundreds of thousands of dollars? I've never seen a neighborhood with $15K houses that suddenly have $250K renovation marvels buried in the middle. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but HGTV has really been reaching for the bottom over the past several years. An extremely dumb concept which seems to be a perfect fit for HGTV viewership.
Joker (2019)
Stunning Performance
I have long been a fan of Joaquin Phoenix, but this film blew me away. I was overwhelmed by his presence and absolute ownership of the role. I didn't expect a lot from this film. I knew that Phoenix had won the Oscar, but I did not expect such an overwhelming performance. One of the best films I have seen in years.
One of a Kind (2019)
Cringe Factor 9000
If the show host wasn't attractive, this would have never been on TV. I have never seen such ridiculous design in my life. I honestly thought it was a joke at first. Kelly green kitchen cabinets, spoons all over walls in a room... I think the show producers are just seeing how many people they can get to watch this nightmare. Utterly nuts.
Home Town (2016)
Trailer Renovation 101
This show has all the appeal of an open sore. The hosts have absolutely no personality or charisma and the homes themselves rarely have style or anything of interest. HGTV is still trying to recapture the allure of the original "Flip or Flop" with Christina and Tarek. It's not working. This show helps when I have insomnia.
Honey Boy (2019)
A Painful, Gripping Insight
I've always been a Shia Lebeouf fan, and this work was yet another reason for my admiration. The story left me emotionally raw, as I could feel the sadness of a lonely, frightened little boy who couldn't rely on his father to protect him. Not a pleasant movie, but I'm glad I saw it. I thought all of the actors in this film did a tremendous job, especially Noah Jupe.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
I Chose To Enjoy This Film
As a fan of the Terminator series, I knew from a pure entertainment standpoint, that I'd like the film. Love? No. But I was entertained. Mackenzie Davis was a standout and really carried the movie.
That being said, there were problems. Linda Hamilton seemed tired and disinterested, the script felt rigid and inflexible, certain story lines were hard to understand and overall continuity frequently felt marginal.
I was disappointed in some ways, but I really didn't expect much. The Terminator franchise has been incredibly successful and entertaining for over thirty years. Perhaps it has finally run its course.
Brittany Runs a Marathon (2019)
Sappy, Predictable...And I Loved It
Funny, heartwarming story with a strong script and great actors. We can all see some of ourselves in Brittany. Thoroughly enjoyable.
Dark Crimes (2016)
Tired, Boring and Weak...
This film surprised me. The dialogue was patchy, characters were brooding and uninteresting, almost all shots were dark and worst of all, Jim Carrey couldn't seem to figure out his accent. We slopped from one scene to another, barely feeling anything for anyone, let alone understanding what was going on. The only scene with any power was when Carrey went to his Mother's house near the end of the movie.
I was surprised that Carrey took such a weak role. He's made many great films, but really missed it on this one.
Welcome to Marwen (2018)
Amazing Effects, But...
I was very struck by the unique effects. I also thought the cast was great. But for some reason that I don't fully understand, I couldn't quite connect with Steve Carrell's character. I came to understand his suffering and how he coped, but I was unable to truly empathize and relate to his life. I think this is largely because it was barely explored in the script. I still enjoyed the film, but it did not move me the way many compelling biographical films have.
Remarkable Power (2008)
A Little Silly But Still Entertaining
A lot of notable performers took part in this black comedy, and overall I'd say it worked. I especially liked Tom Arnold's character. For the most part the story moved along nicely and there were a couple of surprises. Not a big budget production, but it didn't pretend to be. I loved that the movie ended with a song by Public Image Limited, and I enjoyed the film.
Prometheus (2012)
Bright Spots, But Disappointing Overall
This could have been a great film. I liked Michael Fassbender's character, but that was about all. The idea of a trillion dollar mission being manned by misfits and idiots was silly. The script was weak and sloppy. I stopped watching the last thirty minutes as it became so trite and predictable. I am still shocked that a film of this scope was allowed to slither in to production without handling all of the problems.
Natural Selection (2011)
A Sweet Surprise
I was more than surprised by this film. The performance of the two main characters was authentic and moving. Linda and Raymond were both desperate and lonely people yearning for human connection. The film takes us on a whirlwind trip through powerful, unexamined emotions. A few of the supporting characters were under developed, but did not seriously detract from the movie. I was moved by the power of this little film.
All I See Is You (2016)
Got A Little Lost...
I enjoyed the acting of Lively and Clarke, and mostly thought the direction was well done, but I got stuck on elements of the story a few times. Several plot lines were implied, but were not strong enough to drive the story with confidence. Overall, I enjoyed the film and didn't feel like I wasted my time. I was pretty surprised to learn that this film was a monumental financial flop.
A New Leaf (1971)
My Favorite Film
What to say that hasn't already been said? A warm, quirky story performed perfectly by a cast that could not have been better. I watch this movie at least once a year and am continually struck by how fresh and utterly joyous it feels. The film has never received the attention it deserves, but is cherished by its admiring and adoring fans.
Welcome to Happiness (2015)
A Quirky, Entertaining Surprise
I was quite surprised by this film as I wasn't expecting much. I was intrigued from the first scene and found myself anticipating the path we were traveling. I thought the film was very well written, the direction was great as were the cast. Parts of the story were muddied occasionally, but overall it was a very fun movie with interesting, thought provoking scenes and dialogue. I'd definitely recommend it.
Terminus (2015)
A Cure For Insomnia
Where to start with this mess? Slow, boring, dark, and I mean ridiculously dark. I've never seen so many scenes shot in near darkness. Besides this, the plot wandered, characters were barely developed and there was no effective direction. Fortunately, I did get some great sleep which started before this nightmare ended.
Unsane (2018)
Why Was Matt Damon In This Movie?
Pretty weak film. Did he lose a bet to Ben Affleck?
1 Message (2011)
1 Mess
I don't think there is anything I deplore more than a hidden Christian themed movie. I would have never started watching had I known this at the start. This fact, coupled with poorly written and unrealistic scenes, stilted dialogue, terribly weak acting and a glacier like plot movement had me continually on the verge of pulling the plug, which I finally did around the hour mark.
This best actors in this trainwreck was a tie between the clerk at the bookstore (who actually showed some emotion) and the dog. I love movies, but it's this kind of garbage that makes me realize the rarity of great film making.
Magellan (2017)
Yikes!
I love giving movies a chance. I'll be a little more discerning in the future.
This movie was plagued by something beyond a weak script, lifeless dialogue, poor acting, unrealistic scenes (that first meeting with the Secretary of Defense was silly), lousy camera work and minutes of tedium punctuated by seconds of boredom. That computer on the lander (Neil?) put me over the edge.
I was rooting for this movie and I feel like it turned around and kicked me in the groin. I'm hopeful that all involved will move on to their fallback careers.