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Reviews
The Invitation (2022)
Pure Schlock.
Lazy writing. Trite storyline. Stereotypical and one demential characters. Budapest masquerading badly as New York. Lots of silly one liners, poor dialogue and not to mention multiple plot lines that go absolutely nowhere. The "twist" is silly too. I hope they do not make a sequel. Who green lights this schlock? Terrible rendition of Dark Shadows.
One of the craziest things in these ridiculous movies is when all of a sudden the main protagonist is all of a sudden able to go into these super power fight modes (and all you can see is the back of their heads as it's an obvious stunt double.) I'm pretty good at suspension of disbelief, but this one requires an expulsion.
The Cellar (2022)
The writers need to do their Googles
How can one not recognize the Hebrew alphabet? How can one run some "whatever" digital company who holds preputial meetings on trying to crack the code on "social influencers" but yet hires some intern to figure out "what strange language this is?" (Hebrew)
How did the clueless intern manage to use her Googles so quickly and like Daphne and Velma master the language and rearrange the letters to solve the mystery in like 6 minutes.
Plus, I hate how people move into a house and they are unpacked by the end of a fully cooked dinner. (Who doesn't take time off from work during a move? Oh, not this family. They went right back to their "meetings" an hour or two after moving in,)
I swear the writers used a search engine like Yahoo or Web Crawler circa 2003 and searched "Spooky, Occult, superstition" and then threw it all together like a pot of Gumbo.
If I was whatever entity haunting that house I would be really annoyed at how dense this family is and try to send'em packing like the Lutz family.
This film was annoying.
Dolls (1986)
Punks, Yuppie Parents and Dolls.
It's a fun film. Really easy to watch. One of the punkers looks like 80's Madonna and the other one looks like Pat Benatar. But they talk
like "East Enders." They are funny and entertaining and I wish they were the main characters and not some little kid who reminds me of an extra from an 80's "Saturday Morning Cartoon's cereal commercial."
The one disturbing thing is at the end the movie the little kid just drives off with some rando manchild from New Jersey in some foreign country. Nobody questions it, no authorities are called...everybody says "oh ok..." He says something like "Yeah...I'll take you back to Boston." and they drive off.
Rhinoceros (1974)
Galt MacDermont
Killer score/music by Galt MacDermont. For all those who dig in the crates know what I'm talking about.
The Call (2020)
Not a worth remembering...
Lyn Shane lucked out filming this one. Seems
like she was for the most part able to work from home and just phone in her lines.
I remember the film had that "cliche overused horror movie filter saturation" look. I guess it's set in 1987? But it's a 1987 imagined by somebody born in 1997. Cashing in on nostalgia is getting played. That's all I remember about it....oh and I remembered it was bad and boring.
Death Ship (1980)
Haunted Poseidon Adventure
Trigger warning: The Captain makes a very disparaging remark about Toronto. The writer must be a separatist from Montreal or something.
So I'm guessing the killer boat might be related to the "Death Car" or the "Death Bed." It was really annoying the way they edited the shots filmed in the Gulf of Mexico with their bootleg low budget set.
Progressively gets sillier as the boats antics rev up. None of the characters are likeable so when the boat does it's thing it doesn't hit home. I guess in the end they wanted to make a point but that point gets lost in the sauce of a super silly movie.
Aftermath (2021)
A mish mash of garbage.
This movie is hot trash on a plater. It takes a couple of ideas from a bunch of movies, a dash of red herrings a bunch of plot holes, bad acting and a set decorated by a director who showed up to "Home Goods" and said "I'll take it all!"
This dumpster on film doesn't know what it's doing or where is going.