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Oppenheimer (2023)
Very Disjointed
"Oppenheimer" attempts to tackle the complex narrative of one of history's most pivotal figures, but unfortunately, it falls short on many fronts.
The film's biggest flaw lies in its disjointed storytelling, bouncing between timelines in a hodgepodge manner that leaves viewers struggling to piece together the narrative. This non-sequential approach adds confusion rather than depth to the story.
Furthermore, the decision to employ black and white filming feels more like a pretentious artistic choice than a meaningful storytelling device, adding little substance to the overall experience. Similarly, gratuitous nude scenes serve no purpose other than to titillate, detracting from any serious exploration of Oppenheimer's character or the historical events surrounding him.
Speaking of character exploration, the film fails to depict Oppenheimer himself in any significant way, leaving viewers with a frustrating lack of insight into the man behind the project. Instead, it attempts to juggle multiple storylines, none of which are executed with any real depth or coherence.
As a result, the film drags on longer than the very project it seeks to portray, with unnecessary loud music further exacerbating the tediousness of the viewing experience. Additionally, important characters from the Manhattan Project are poorly integrated into the narrative, further diluting the film's focus.
Perhaps most disappointingly, the movie fails to convey the true importance of Oppenheimer to the project, leaving his contributions and complexities largely unexplored.
In the end, "Oppenheimer" proves to be as boring as it is ambitious, failing to deliver a compelling portrayal of its subject matter or the historical events it seeks to dramatize.
Entebbe (2018)
How could you stuff this up
Verily, I have beheld sundry versions of this tale, as well as diverse chronicles, and I am thoroughly discomfited! Pray tell, what is the meaning of the inclusion of so much dancing in a matter that demands the gravest of solemnity?
The production is a most disordered and shabbily put-together collection of footage, without coherence or clarity, and does great disservice to those valiant men who risked their very lives to liberate the hostages. The filmmakers appear to have endeavored to humanize the hijackers, perchance to arouse our deepest emotions, but such a ploy is manipulative and in poor taste.
Methinks it would have been far more appropriate for the movie to be devoted to exposing the abysmal lack of security in Athens during those times, comparing it to the stringent measures in effect in our own day. If this was indeed their intent, then I must say they have failed miserably in their endeavor.
Murdaugh Murders: Deadly Dynasty (2022)
Pfft
This is possibly the lamest documentary in any catalogue. People just droning on about things that could be summed up five minutes. So there are a bunch of childish grown up young individuals who behave like monkeys after a marula fruit binge. And then blah, blah blah. Rich, powerful people who are corrupt - who would have thought. Most boring 'real" events that do not merit moving pictures. There are lines and lines of boring text on the internet and that's where it should have stopped. This show must have been cheap to make. Pity the jury who have sit through all the banality. I'd be watching how many doze off.
Bull (2021)
Movie missing 4 letters from title.
A boring mishmash of far fetched, fanciful and moronic story line of a dead dude exacting revenge. Amazing part of this movie is that it managed to secure funding. Not much funding I gather as it is touted as a low budget movie. The movie is based on an overreactive father who is trying to give everything her horny daughter wants. Not satisfied with her husband leads to a huge fire and a shooting and the genesis of a gem of a movie. People involved in the slightest way in this debacle are subject to extreme danger. Except for the guy who actually lit the fire. Perhaps because he showed mercy and yelled out shot him. Made perfect sense.
The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker (2023)
This is as interesting as watching paint dry.
This 10 minute "documentary " which rightly belongs to youtube had been moved to Netflix and padded with as much garbage that is found around the unfortunate homeless. This would be a great show for budding content producers-a training video on how to create content without a storyline. Grab a few people who like to exude enthusiasm for no reason whatsoever and you now have an original. Stitch some news clips together and do some voiceovers and get a few people who were there in some remote capacity. You drove the guy and he smelled of alcohol - well you are now fully qualified to to do a full physiological assessment on the guy. If you have a hardware store near buy go to the paint shop and some cheap paint and a brush. Come home and paint something and watch it dry. That will be more exciting.
Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)
Someone got scammed.
I have not read the book so I have no idea what the real story was. Now, the question that needs to be asked : did the screenwriter read the book or they had the cliff notes to it and then gave up as the funding from the movie was pulled. Some stories get accepted on the past glories of a writer. Too much success leads to complacency and this phone ad movie is a result of such. A movie that tries to make a serious commentary on where our lives are headed but lacks any semblance of a plot.
Ironically, the main character enrols in a journalism course. If the things learnt in that course was applied correctly we may have had a decent movie. It is an absolute waste of time.
Donald Sutherland cannot be faulted.
The Stranger (2022)
Knight to C4
This movie is like a chess game. Sadly it has poor opening and no end game. They played a solid middle game and then abandoned the match. Those who do not have a local back ground knowledge of the real events will be left bewildered and annoyed at the abrupt introduction and ending of the story. This would be a great movie to show to students on how NOT to write a screenplay. There is also the incredulous story of the undercover cop having his kid stay with him during an ongoing undercover operation. Highly dubious storyline. An average attempt to tell a real story. A story that was more dramatic than the dramatisation.
The Outpost (2019)
Why is this a movie.
So a typical story not worth telling. Let's invade a country and then whine and whinge about being attacked and portray everyone else as the bad guy.
That's the plot. Summarised. Sorry for spilling the cleverly crafted plot line.
Fractured (2019)
How to make a movie with one camera, a few voice actors and a handful of extras.
Masterclass in how to make a cheap movie.
Tries to do some twists and turns like the movie Fractured. Bores the hell out of you. Throws in some 'good luck with your case tomorrow" and you are disappointed how far tomorrow is.
The Contract (2006)
The bridge not convincing
Movies need finance. How do you sell a story like that if you are not Jerry? I don't think this would be picked up by even Nakahama Broadcasting Corporation. Maybe if you gave them tonnes of oranges.
They must have realised that this story is pretty boring so let's throw in two other campers. Then they realised they didn't have the budget (chopper hire is expensive) so they shot him. Lucky wasn't a Baldwin production.
Does the review contain spoilers - No, the movies does that by itself.
This movie should have gone straight to radio.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
Jumping of an observation tower in a thunder storm
Sometimes as an actor- specially with clout should say -"Wait that makes no sense." Then you may get a good movie. Sadly this is not the case here. Two fairly dumb assassins prolong this movie to extend the viewers' misery. This movie would have been ok as a short movie. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences defines a short film as "an original motion picture that has a running time of 40 minutes or less, including all credits" - this would have suited this perfectly. I guess you could eat this sped up. The fall from the tower would have been quicker.
The Puppet Master: Hunting the Ultimate Conman (2022)
A biography of a collection of idiots.
Great show documenting dumb people with equally dumb families and a lethargic police force that finally awakens from its stupor. Does drag on a bit. The dumbest thing was the police asking a security agency - "Dude, is this guy your agent" - what do you think the reply would be? Yep. He sure is. Happy to blow his cover for you. Some cops really are like Theophilus Goon.
American Sniper (2014)
Bit of indulgent comedy
Movie is bit of a joke with fanciful scenes. So a bunch of soldiers rock up at your place and kick you about a bit. So what do you do in the middle of a war zone? You invite a bazillion of them to have some nosh. No shortage of food, cutlery or crockery. You hope that something would happen in this movie. It just drags on . If the main movie character so flat imagine what the real dude would have been like. There is not much you can do with that but the yanks seemed to lap it up. Hooyah.
The Sinner: Part VIII (2021)
If you are as crooked as a dog's leg then you must not let a retired detective with insomnia to holiday on your island.
Bunch of crooked fisherman murder a dude on a boat and haul him onshore to tell his parents they shot him. Yea, what else could they have done to the body on a boat in the middle of water. Just drags on and on. Not just the Chinese guys - they are all on the lam.
Brazen (2022)
Brazen
They certainly were. To put such junk to film. The story line is poor. The acting is mediocre. The police chief is 2 years old. Another dude with some hair is around for no reason. A killer who normally sneaks on his victims now decides to carry on a meaningless drawn out conversation with another potential victim. The police set a trap and then the entire police rush off to kick a door to the basement at a senator's mansion and eventually one lone cop makes it back to save the day - I guess only because conveniently he lives next door. Worth a miss.
This review really does not contain spoilers - the movie was spoilt before I got here.
Kidnapped (2021)
The child was kidnapped but I felt like the hostage.
This place poor phone reception but.great wifi. This is what you learn as you check in. This should be your cue to leave. I suggest you get half a litre of paint and a brush and some off cut timber. PaInt that and watch it dry. Better entertainment. Somebody lost money on this movie. Appallingly bad and a real dumb kid. The cast is missing Clouseau.
The Best of Enemies (2019)
Yeh right.
So this is a true story about a mother who can't send her kids to a school of her choice but can arrange a free private room in a care facility for a complete stranger. Sounds plausible to me.
The Motive (2020)
A Seinfeld documentary
This is a documentary of speculation and incompetent investigators and doctors. A manufactured mystery because people did not do their work. I suggest you watch paint dry than this stitched ho e movie.
House M.D. (2004)
Implausible
Bit of a junk show with 5 doctors attending to one patient where they do pathology tests , autopsies, necropsy a d break ins. Full of racist and sexist slurs. Garbage. They don't seem to have sonographers, radiologists or a pathology lab. It's not uncommon to have 3 doctors sitting around an MRI machine for hours. A character like House simply cannot survive in a workplace. Would be better if it was set in the 1920s.
House M.D. (2004)
Implausible
Bit of a junk show with 5 doctors attending to one patient where they do pathology tests , autopsies, necropsy a d break ins. Full of racist and sexist slurs. Garbage. They don't seem to have sonographers, radiologists or a pathology lab. It's not uncommon to have 3 doctors sitting around an MRI machine for hours. A character like House simply cannot survive in a workplace. Would be better if it was set in the 1920s.
Angel Has Fallen (2019)
Cartoonish movie
None of the action scenes in this movie are believable. Guy guarding the president is suddenly tracing IP addresses. FBI agents and a helicopter goes missing - let's forget about that. No one knows how to stop roadblocks to prevent goons from arriving at a hospital. Nitrogen is combining with oxygen in the absence of lightning.
The Meddler (2015)
This is just a movie for product placements
If you are in the market for a 'luxury" car or handheld electronics then perhaps you may get some enjoyment. There are some dogs in this too and they suddenly disappear. A weak storyline with some music appreciating chickens - that's about it.
I See You (2019)
The old classic question. Why can't I give it zero stars?
This movie is great for insomniacs as it will certainly reduce your dependence on sleeping pills. Not good for people with a heart condition as it is annoyingly irritating. The movie is an island as it fails to make any connection with the viewer or realty. Seasoned cop just makes irrational decisions. Doesn't even know how to plant evidence. It would be attractive to Americans under the Guano Act. Who would have thought a mum's itchy yearnings could cause so much havoc. The music- it's like watching a documentary on the communication nuances of the humpback whales.
The Sinner (2017)
Awful Season 3
A good series 1&2 that degenerated into utter garbage in season 3. It looks like the script is written by an AI engine that is just awful with its algorithm. I am amazed that someone looked at that script and said "Yep, I'll put my money into this". It makes no sense. It's a pity that people need money and sometimes have to do distasteful things to earn it. Otherwise the crew could have just walked off the set and not be associated with this travesty. Simply Awful. Watch it if someone pays you to do it. Ask for at least 6 figures. Otherwise it's just not worth your time.
Uncut Gems (2019)
Uncut Gems is exactly what it says.
Junk dirt with no sparkle. A Jewish guy hands a black guy a million dollar rock for a $2.00 ring as collateral . That's how implausible this whole story is. A option for zero stars would be nice.