olovsimonsson Reviews

Troll (2022)

Trollzilla

[1/10 · 4 August 2023]

I suppose the writer must have thought that no one saw Roland Emmerich's Godzilla (1998) and that he could get away with remaking that, but placing it in Norway and with a huge troll instead of a giant lizard...

Some shots and are in fact copied, and there seems to be no shame about it.

Aside from this, the acting is terrible, although the terrible screenplay is probably to blame. The characters lack depth and the filmmakers are trying their hardest to try and make us care about them anyway. But we don't. We don't care about the humans, and we don't care about the troll. Which leaves very little to care about.

This film could and should have learnt from Trollhunter, a brilliant Norwegian film about trolls, that didn't take itself too seriously but had some fun with it. Then we actually take it more seriously than this sorry excuse for a film...

The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)

Not Boba Fett!

[2/10 · 5 March 2022]

Did you like the Mandalorian? Then you will love the episodes that are solely about him, and not at all about Boba Fett (in fact, he isn't even in them!). Fear not though! Occasionally you will get to see old and out of shape Temuera Morrison pretend to fit in the Boba Fett costume! Great actor but he's not Boba Fett. And this show is not about Boba Fett. It is, in fact, a waste of time. So if you have time to waste; go nuts! If you dont; stay the heck away!

Midnight Mass (2021)

Again, so close...

[3/10 · 21 October 2021]

Mike Flannagan is clearly the master and beginnings (The Haunting of Hill House was brilliand half way through and then dropped like a hot turd), and if only he could see it through and not build up to endings that can only be described as sentimental and weak, his creations mich actually be interesting from beginning to end.

In this case, the character developments are weak and unrealistic. The mystery of what's going on doesn't stay mysterious for very long, and was utterly disappointing once it was clear what was going on (again, half-way through the series).

It's not terrible, but I don't think it did not deserve a full series, but could easily and preferrably have been compressed into a 9 minute film to watch when you've watched everything actually interesting on Netflix.

Squid Game (2021– )

Mix of things already seen. But less.

[4/10 · 21 October 2021]

There's nothing new here. And it's not better than any of the many other films, programmes, or books out there on the very same topic. In fact, I completely fail to see the appeal as well as the point.

It's not a bad show, and if you haven't seen any other films or programmes about people being pawns in (generally) wealthy people's sick and murderous games, it might be enjoyable.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

I don't know where to begin

[2/10 · 29 March 2021]

This is a ridiculous comedy without humour. The plot makes as much sense as the film has action. I have so many questions, but I honestly don't care about the answers, and that's pretty bad. Just like this film.

Over the Garden Wall (2014)

Dante for grown up kids

[10/10 · 12 February 2021]

This is about as good as anything gets on TV. It is frightening, funny, smart, cute, and my kids love it, but I love it more. With a story loosely based on Dante's Divine Comedy and the quirkiness of Pat McHale (Adventure time) it just can't go wrong and it doesn't. Just watch and enjoy for crying out loud.

The Stand (2020–2021)

Completely unnecessary

[3/10 · 6 February 2021]

I don't like making comparisons, but I can't help it in this instance. The 1994 miniseries had it's flaws, but at least it stuck to the main themes of the book; the human beings as pawns in a game of good and evil, who they are and become. Only one episode left of the 2020 version and I feel nothing for any of the characters, simply because I don't know them.

It is based on a massive book, but the 1994 miniseries managed to create a cohesively evolving story and characters. And that in a 6 hour long series. This version has 9 hours and yet the story is so all over the place that so many things don't make sense anymore. As if the writers were puzzling and piecing, cutting and pasting, until they just gave up, rather than working until it made sense.

This version seems to hope it can get by on chock value, but it completely misses the point when turning New Vegas into a Sodom or Gomorrah, rather than a fascist state, for example.

It's a hot mess, and if you're too lazy to read the book, then watch the 1994 version instead.

Raised by Wolves (2020–2022)

Why do I love this?!

[10/10 · 2 February 2021]

I don't understand why I love this so much. I know it's incredibly beautiful, every scene like a moving painting. I know that the idea and the characters are fascinating in their depth. And I do like the story, and even the slow pace, but the problem is I keep falling asleep while watching it. Every time! In spite of that I keep going back, watching it again and again (and yes, falling asleep over and over). I'm still not sure what's going on in the last episode though. Not sure if it's me falling asleep or if it's just really weird and confusing. Sadly I believe it's the latter. Doesn't matter though. I'll keep watching it over and over, waiting for the next season.

It Chapter Two (2019)

Too much of the wrong things...

[2/10 · 6 December 2019]

What the first movie got right was a balanced focus on IT and the lives and friendship of the children in the losers club as well as their relationships to each other. No such thing exists in the second chapter. Instead it seems to think that the audience will feel for the adults just because we felt for the kids, and that we should be satisfied with the relationships we got to follow in the first movie. Such is not the case. I'm not given any reason to care about the adults, so I don't.

So what's left? Chapter II starts out quite faithfully to the book, although very abbreviated, until they're all back in Derry. After that, almost nothing is left of King's book. With no relationships nurtured or rediscovered, it is just a painfully long series of jump scares and scenes that seem to compete for the title of most disturbing. However, due to bad animation and a lack of build-up, eventually the myriad of attempted scares cross the border into tedious silliness.

Halfway in, I was begging for it to end, and in the end I was nearly crying because simply did not believe that it ever would...

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

So close...

[7/10 · 16 October 2018]

I remember seeing Mike Flanagan's Absentia. Well, I don't actually remember much of the movie, except that I really liked it. I have since watched every subsequent movie directed by Flanagan, hoping that he would recreate something as unsettling and suspenseful as I remember Absentia to be. So far I have been underwhelmed. Until now. Well, at least through the first eight episodes.

Following a family through two timelines, one when they as kids lived in a house they believed to be haunted, and one in which they have grown up but are still deeply affected by their childhood in the house. There are recurring jumps between then and now, through time and space, connecting in ways that brings the story together to a cohesive story. This could have gotten confusing in the hands of a less skilled director, but here the storytelling is so beautifully done that you never lose track of where you are. Better yet, it never compromises the feeling of dread in the house. Whenever we are brought back to the house, I get shivers and I'm constantly on edge, but not out of fear of jump scares, as Flanagan does not rely on those except on a rare few occasions.

But then it happens. The last two episodes arrive. And here Flanagan makes the dreadful mistake of over-explaining what the house is. He doesn't show it through the up until now wonderful storytelling he has done, but he has the characters explicitly explain it. The house then stops being scary, and focus is on the relationship between the family members, inside a house that just an episode ago completely freaked me out. Now it's just a house and the family drama that previously was strongly connected to the house is the sole focus. And suddenly I feel like turning it off.

The show peaks at the end of episode four. That ending left me with severe goosebumps and tears in my eyes. After that it slowly goes downhill, until episodes nine and ten, where we reach the bottom.

I highly recommend watching episodes one through eight, and I promise you a truly amazing series. Then leave it and you'll remember it as amazing, rather than a show with a crap ending.

The Meg (2018)

Huge Shark. That's about it.

[5/10 · 4 September 2018]

Jason Statham versus a huge shark. Need I say more? It lacks the interesting characters and the suspense of Jaws but is not as idiotic as Deep Blue Sea. In fact the only thing this movie really has got going for it is the enormous shark, but bigger isn't always better, I'm afraid...

Hereditary (2018)

Disappointment

[5/10 · 28 August 2018]

Perhaps if critics had not called it the scariest movie ever, and the distributors subsequently sold it as that (referring to said critics), maybe I would have liked it better. But on the other hand, maybe not.

Tony Collette is brilliant as always and is the sole reason for pushing my rating from 3 stars to 5. Aside from her, the movie hasn't got much to brag about. It's a movie that can't seem to decide whether it wants to be a family drama or a horror movie, and ending up being neither, rather than both. It is a movie I've seen in many versions before, and this is the artistic version. Except for the ending, which is not artistic at all, nor dramatic or frightening. In fact, it almost seemed to have been edited in from some ridiculous B-horror movie from the 70's.

Maybe if they had edited out all the "horror" scenes and focused on the drama surrounding the family after the tragic events that they experience, I'm certain it would have been a very good drama. But now, it is simply two hours of disappointment.

13 Reasons Why (2017–2020)

Season 2 Review

[2/10 · 5 June 2018]

Season 1 was good! It had heart and hit some really strong notes with topics that they treated delicately and with respect. Season 2 takes a huge dump on season 1. It is as if the people making season 2 never really watched the first season, or at least didn't get what it was about. Season 2 shows no kind of respect for the preceding season but adds so much that does not make sense, or that alters some of the strongest points and moments in season 1.

Someone wrote a review with the headline "Season 2 ruined it". I cannot but agree. I could have accepted a second season that does not live up to the standards set in the first, but a second season that not only is bad but makes the first season bad as well is totally unacceptable.

So watch the first season, but for God's sake, do not watch this big smelly number two!

Tusk (I) (2014)

Well, that was a surprise!

[7/10 · 25 May 2018]

I had given up hope of ever seeing a Kevin Smith movie that didn't annoy me. Thus, I didn't see this until quite recently, on the suggestion of reliable movie nerds. And I have to say, I was very pleasantly surprised.

I have seen movies with a similar premise; a person is trapped with a lunatic (Creep, and Misery, for example), or persons in the same situation (The Human Centipede, and Split), but unlike those movies, this one does things right. It keeps the perfect balance between humor, drama, and horror. And unlike most movies in this genre, the focus is not on the gore and sadism (like the Human Centipede). Instead we have a villain that I could not help but feel for, in-between the utter insanity of Michael Parks' character.

As for the actors, I have never been a fan of Justin Long (which was another reason why I didn't want to see this movie), but he did a very good job! And Michael Parks is absolutely brilliant. Without his performance the movie would not have been half as good. Haley Joel Osment and Genesis Rodriguez are giving very convincing performances. In fact, the only actor that I didn't like was Johnny Depp, who seemed to under the impression that this was one of Smith's adolescent comedies (and Smith clearly didn't correct him). In fact, had Johnny Depp not brought the movie down with his ridiculous overacting, I may have pushed the rating up a star. It was almost embarrassing to see him try to perform whatever he was doing, and whatever it was it was far from convincing, and honestly, I think the character does very little for the story. He only tells the audience what we had already figured out, or didn't need to know.

So give it a chance. It certainly is not as bad as so many here have claimed.

A Quiet Place (2018)

Lovely, in spite of everything!

[7/10 · 24 May 2018]

Let's face it, there are some really big question marks here. Like who would put a nail from underneath a board in the cellar stairs?! I mean, it can't ever have served any kind of purpose! And I get that Krasinski's character was badly hurt, but he could have at least tried to swing the axe, right? And really, the governments/armies or whatever never tried to blast the creatures with high pitched noise, even though they were clearly aware of the creatures being exceedingly sensitive to sounds?! Or are they more sensitive to some sounds and less to others? It seems somewhat unclear what they hear and not...

Normally such things would lower my rating. But I forgive the movie entirely. It succeeded where so many others have failed, in making a slow paced, quiet movie suspenseful rather than boring, and in spite of the minimal amount of dialogue, we actually get to know the characters very well, and feel for them.

So screw the question marks and just enjoy this little gem!

13 Reasons Why (2017–2020)

From Good to Bad

[2/10 · 21 May 2018]

If There had been an option to write separate reviews for the first and second season, the reviews would have been completely different.

Sure, season 1 had its problems, but still it had many strengths. Some episodes were really powerful, while others failed in realism. Regardless of the flaws I could not stop watching the first season.

Now, on the other hand, I have to force myself to keep watching the second season, and to be honest I doubt I'll finish it. It is as if completely different people are making the second season, people who didn't really watch, or at least did not understand what season 1 was about.

For example, one of the protagonists (the living one) suffers from an immense frustration, brilliantly portrayed, I might add, over the fact that he has so many questions to ask the dead girl, and so much to say, but he can't because... well, she's dead. And now in season 2 she's back in the shape of some kind of mental ghost with enough agency to act as her living self. More, in fact, like a ghost than a memory. And all of a sudden, one of the more gripping things about the first season is gone. Completely. Like most other things that made the first season powerful.

That said, watch the first season and leave it at that.

The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)

Not that special

[4/10 · 2 May 2018]

So many reviews emphasizes the originality of this movie, and having read the book (which is quite original), I was disappointed and disagree. It's not a bad move, but it's not original. In fact I had trouble finding scenes that I had not seen variations of in other movies. Which is a shame, considering the originality of the book upon which the movie is based.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Not sure what I just saw.

[4/10 · 2 May 2018]

I must admit that I have grown tired of Marvel movies. The extended universe not only entails that every movie and character must be connected, but also that you can't see a Marvel movie without having to see all of them in order to understand the context. I have seen all (I think, but frankly I can't be sure anymore, as they tend to blend together). Most of them are enjoyable to watch, but they do not offer much in the sense of emotion or thought, which means they are easily forgettable.

In this case, I had no idea what had preceded the movie (yes, I saw Age of Ultron, but still have no idea how Bruce Banner ended up in space). And in fact I am still not sure if I saw a Marvel movie or a parody of a Marvel movie. There was so much that did not add up, so much that was too silly or anachronistic to make any sense. Sure, I laughed at times, but I that's pretty much all the emotion this movie got from me. It's not bad, it's entertaining at times, but it didn't really make much sense, and it certainly did not make me think enough to believe that I will remember any of it tomorrow.

In conclusion, this movie tries hard to recreate the combination of humor and action that worked very well with Guardians of the Galaxy, but fails.

This Is Your Death (2017)

Forgettable

[4/10 · 17 April 2018]

I watched it last night, and I honestly can't really remember all of it. That says something. What I do remember is the disappointment when realizing that it did not live up to my hopes.

There is so much one could have done about a TV-show in which people kill themselves, but this attempt missed every opportunity to become a thought provoking movie. It was just flat. Which is sad, because the premise is excellent, and Giancarlo Esposito is a brilliant actor and clearly an okay director, but the script was lacking.

Annihilation (I) (2018)

+No, it's not too "brainy"

[6/10 · 12 March 2018]

This review will contain some book comparisons. I'm sorry for this, but I simply can't help myself.

I read the book upon which this movie is based, and I found it mind provoking and entertaining (unlike its far less interesting sequels). Although I wasn't a big fan of Alex Garland's movie Ex Machina, I was excited to see what he would do with Annihilation. Especially given that some claimed it was too "brainy" for a theatrical release here in Europe. Well, its not brainy. Certainly not if one compares it to the book.

I was aware of Garland's choice not to re-read the book before writing the script, and I was prepared for him to exclude some of the book's strangest and unfilmable sequences from the movie. I was not prepared for him to have changed nearly everything except for some or the basic story. In fact the whitewashing debate seems redundant, since Natalie Portman's character is so far from the one in the books.

Sure, it is a beautiful and poetic movie. But it is not mind provoking (/"brainy"), or especially intriguing. It is a light version of the book that fails to address some of the most fascinating things about Area X and most certainly the characters.

So to conclude: The characters are without depth, the story as well. However, it is shrouded by a poetic and colorful shimmer (see what I did there?) that clearly is meant to divert attention from these flaws. My recommendation: If you want poetry, beauty, but also(!) interesting characters and "brainy", then read the book!

Before I Wake (2016)

One of Flanagan's better movies

[8/10 · 9 February 2018]

Most of Mike Flanagan's movies I have wanted to like more than I have liked them. Therefore my expectations were quite low when I began watching this. Turns out things got turned around. I didn't really want to like this one, but I did. It was actually a beautiful mix between fantasy and horror, and although many elements have been seen in other movies, there is a lot that is fresh which left me smiling when the credits started rolling.

Misfits (2009–2013)

Yep, it's a 10

[10/10 · 9 February 2018]

I can't really find any flaws in this. It's funny, violent, the effects are surprisingly good, and even when some of the cast are replaced (usually a show-killer) it remains brilliant!

So if you, like me, are sick of Marvel, but still want to watch superheroes (or super anti-heroes in this case), this is what you want to watch!

The Alienist (2018–2020)

Not what it ought to be

[5/10 · 9 February 2018]

I was really looking forward to this. The story sounded amazing and there's a great cast and crew. It's gory, bloody and shows a really dark side humanity in New York in the late 19th century. What's not to like? Well, the characters. I don't care about them. I'm not really given a reason why I should care about them, or even like the protagonists. And if you don't care about the characters then no story, however interesting, is going to save the show for me.

Granted, I haven't seen the entire series, and it might improve, but I stopped watching, and as of yet I don't see a reason why I should pick it up again.

The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

Not that terrible

[5/10 · 8 February 2018]

Let's face it, the first half hour is interesting. That's when they sort of explain the origin of the Cloverfield monsters and everything interesting happens. The rest you have probably already seen in other movies.

It is far too obvious that this not originally a Cloverfield movie, as the Cloverfield elements seem very out of place. But sure, it gives an explanation to the first two movies, which might be nice. I'm not sure actually. I think I liked it better when I didn't understand where the monsters came from.

As mentioned, it's not really a bad movie, but it's not great either. Fine cast, well directed, nice effects, and there is a basic story, just not a very interesting one. And of course, when cramming in some Cloverfield story lines I am no longer sure which story it wants to tell; the Cloverfield one, or the hazards of colliding dimensions, or the difficult choices the protagonists have to make.

They should have made this as the God Particle, left out the Cloverfield elements, and they would have ended up with a semi-decent space thriller.

Britannia (2017–2021)

Not a review

[1/10 · 22 January 2018]

It would be unfair of me to write a review, considering I could not get through the first episode. So I'll give my first impressions. And last.

The opening scene showed some really bad teeth, and I was thrilled! Nothing bothers me more than beautiful teeth in shows such as this one. Well what's in the next scene, you ask. Clean, white, straight teeth, of course! And it gets worse! Nice, modern makeup, including purple/pink lipstick. But of course the makeup department added a few strategically placed spots of dirt on the faces to make them look... well, not dirty really. Just strategically painted with dirt, but not so much that they don't look cool or beautiful.

I get that they wanted to get away from Game of Thrones, and I applaud that. However, if the manner in which this is achieved is through enhanced colors (rather than toned down), and modern music, along with fancy beauty makeups, then you're going to have to expect crappy reviews.

So what of the story? Well, I can't really say anything about that, since I turned it off after little more than half the first episode. I can tell you that the story or the characters had not, up until then, intrigued me at all. Not even enough to make me want to at least give it the rest of the episode to see if it would get better. Fact is, I found it to be embarrassingly pretentious, which at times made it painful to watch. Which is sad. Because I love Zoë Wanamaker.