cageyk-46578 Reviews

BlackBerry (2023)

What a horrible prosthesis

[3/10 · 12 June 2023]

Started to watch this movie with my wife last night. It was slow moving, at times inaccurate and didn't hold my interest for very long. The acting by some was stilted and the periodic shots with hand-held cameras were at the very least disconcerting. And speaking of disconcerting, the prothesis that Glen Howerton was wearing was beyond ridiculous and very apparent. If you look at headshots of Howerton you will see he has massive amounts of hair. Pulling a prothesis over all that hair to make him appear as if he was bald was a stupid decision by whoever was in charge of makeup. They should have simply shaved his head.

Emulsion (2014)

Why does he wear that too small hat on his bigger than average head?

[2/10 · 4 May 2021]

My wife and I watched this movie last night. Correction, we watched less than half of it and then turned it off. It was slow paced, tawdry and mostly uninteresting. We are big fans of Jamie Fraser but this film in no way shows off Heughan's acting skills. Early on it looked like his face had too much makeup including eye liner, eye shadow and lipstick and that ridiculous fedora he wore which was way too small for the size of his head was like a pimple on an elephant's ass. All together a mostly forgettable film.

My Octopus Teacher (2020)

She was becoming a bit clingy

[7/10 · 20 September 2020]

Watched most of this movie last night. Pretty good. He kept referring to the octopus as she and I don't know how he knew the gender. I certainly didn't see him lift her tail to check. Anyway I watched most of it and he he kissed her (reminds me of a song). I became concerned that they were going to take the relationship too far. I had visions of a matrimonial ceremony in an underwater chapel and an ordained tuna pronouncing them "husband and octopus".

I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020)

Slow developing and ultimately confusing

[4/10 · 5 September 2020]

The acting was top notch but never having read the novel that the movie is based on, it became almost painfully incomprehensible to me and my wife from the point where Jake and his girlfriend, who's never mentioned by name, reach Jake's parents house. Another reviewer said "The film from my point of view explores the themes of nihilism, essentialism and hedonism." I would have to look up the meaning of those three words to see how they apply to the movie and if the reviewer is right and that is the case, then this movie's not for me. Over the space of many years and hundreds of films, I have found that for the most part, ratings of 9 & 10 by critics, unless the movie is purely an entertainment vehicle, leave me shaking my head in wonderment and confusion.

Hard Promises (1991)

Will revisit my rating after watching

[5/10 · 3 September 2020]

I'm about to sit down and watch this movie. The reviews that are posted I find confusing as there are apparently eight people who don't know what they're talking about with assorted reviews between 7 & 10 and two "visionaries" who have rated it a "1".

The Wailing (2016)

An excellent film in the horror genre

[3/10 · 2 September 2020]

What I can say mostly about this movie is that if you don't mind reading subtitles for 2½ hours then this movie's for you. Me, I rather read the book if it's available in English.

It Follows (2014)

Scary like Mary Poppins

[2/10 · 11 May 2020]

The only scary thing for me in this movie was the cord hanging from the wall-mounted telephone in Annie's kitchen. It was completely twisted and no one, not a living soul, had either the time or inclination to unwind it. This, in itself, was blatantly cruel and bothered me for at least 20 minutes. (I hope this doesn't constitute a spoiler.)

My wife and I were both terrified; terrified that somebody would break into our house, hold us at gunpoint and force us to watch the entire movie. Fortunately for us, that didn't happen. Anyone who became scared watching this film, should never, under any circumstances, consider watching Rosemary's Baby or the original Exorcist, and if you were terrified, then, by all means, stay away from the original Jaws.

I am astounded at the 8.3 Metascore, but then again, my wife and I find that for the most part, the criteria for a high score must include deep, profound meanings and subtle undertones that completely elude us, (neither of which apply to this movie) or, as is the case here, be so inane, as to make watching it a real chore and not worth the effort.

The Assistant (III) (2019)

Searing? If this is searing, save us all from bone-chilling.

[3/10 · 30 April 2020]

A dull, boring film that follows a day in the life of an office "gopher". There were a few moments in the film where there could have been some plot development but alas not to be. This was a real snoozer and I know that to be true because partway through the film I looked over at my wife on the couch, and she was sound asleep, luck lady, getting blessed relief from a unbearably tedious travail.

Long Lost (2018)

Wussy is as Wussy does

[5/10 · 12 April 2019]

My wife and I sat down to watch this movie recently. I had previously prefaced the evening's entertainment by telling her to be prepared for a very good, scary thriller. It was neither. The character, Seth, has to be one of the wussiest roles seen in recent, if not so recent memory. If people think this movie is scary and thrilling then they should never watch The Exorcist or Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) to name just two that could cause them cardiac arrest.

Lost in London (I) (2017)

Right-On-The-Nose but unlikely to be published.

[7/10 · 22 March 2019]

As much as I am a big fan of Woody Harrelson I could never watch this flick as I just can't handle any movie with Owen Wilson in it. I'm just unable to get past his bulbous-tipped, misshapen nose and if he happens to be in a movie I've unwittingly started to watch, I end up constantly staring at it, to the exclusion of everything else and am forced to either leave the theater or turn off the TV. I have the same problem with Gérard Depardieu and as well, with any films in which the late Karl Malden appears. There is for me however, an irreconcilable difference between the former schnozz and the latter two and that is while Malden and Dépardieu possess large, knobby noses they are Not bulbous-tipped and misshapen. This is obviously not a review of Lost in London but I could never rate any Woody Harrelson film lower than 7 out of 10 anyway. Yes, not a review but it's definitely right-on-the-nose,

Stan & Ollie (2018)

A worthy precursor to Abbott & Costello

[8/10 · 19 March 2019]

Really enjoyed this film although going in I was skeptical as to whether or not I would like that brand of humor. A lesson learned, there were many laugh-out-loud moments as well as lump-in-your-throat scenes. Excellent acting by the two principals. I don't really consider this a spoiler but, one scene was puzzling, when Laurel called his wife a man. Made my wife and I wonder if she was trans-sexual however, all recorded history on her makes no mention of this.

Don't Come Back from the Moon (2017)

Possible Alternate Title - When Fathers Leave

[5/10 · 21 January 2019]

Originally attracted to this movie as I am a James Franco fan, but his role lasted about 20 minutes and then he abruptly disappeared, leaving his family and the viewer twisting in the wind as to why or where he went. For me, I spent most of the duration of the film pondering that question. Good acting by the principal stars but slow moving and a little too full of symbolism for my taste.

Alpha (II) (2018)

Why Alpha? Should 've called the mutt "Lady"

[5/10 · 12 November 2018]

The movie was well acted and cinematography good as well but that's as far as it went on the plus side. If you look at the details listed for the film, somebody had the temerity to list the language as English when in fact it was a mysterious, made-up language that director Hughes, for some unfathomable reason, decided to go with, thus necessitating the use of subtitles. Interestingly enough, in one of the trailers the protagonist, Keda speaks in English about his father (never in the actual film footage). The costumes were very "well tailored" (LOL) for a period of time 20,000 years in the past. My wife and I even spotted various manufacturers' treads on the actor's footwear. One other thing, the cast list includes Morgan Freeman as narrator but I think he was among the missing.

Love After Love (2017)

Disappointing and over-hyped

[2/10 · 25 July 2018]

Watched this yesterday and came away with questions, the biggest of which was why did I ever watch it in the first place. Filmed like a reality show, meandering here and there and could have only been worse if a hand-held camera had been used. Definitely did not like the director's technique or style. Never found out what the father/husband's malady was, found it hard to determine who Nicholas' latest sex partner was, found the segue from wake to Nicholas' wedding engagement announcement dinner was confusing. The only good thing I can say about this film is Chris O'Dowd's well acted performance as the stupid-beyond-words and for me, loathsome Nicholas. He did such a good job that I doubt I could ever like him in any future character portrayals.

The Shape of Water (2017)

A contemporary fairy tale

[7/10 · 13 March 2018]

A modern day take on "Creature From the Black Lagoon" and reminiscent of "Beauty and the Beast" without the beauty. Mindlessly entertaining and well acted by Sally Hawkins with Octavia Spencer reprising an all to frequent character role and Michael Shannon a bit of a nasty villain. I gave it a seven out of ten but it definitely was not worthy of a Best Picture Oscar.

Mother! (2017)

An intriguing film that loses its way part way through, to the extent that the viewer is confused and annoyed and totally unable to comprehend just what's going on.

[3/10 · 11 December 2017]

My wife and I watched this film last night and enjoyed the first half. The second half then descended into unexplained and utter chaos and madness. I would never subscribe to the theory of an underlying religious meaning unless Darren Aronofsky told me so personally. l do believe the film's underlying message is about a deteriorating relationship between a egomaniacle husband and his wife, whom he treats badly while always putting his wants and desires first and that this failing relationship is spiraling out of the control of either one.

Having said that, all the aforementioned chaos and madness is hard to explain and does little to substantiate the relationship theory. Our only rationalization is that Jennifer Lawrence's character was slowly losing her mind and we were seeing things from her tortured perspective. I found this to be a very unsettling film that really amped up my annoyance factor and produced many moments of utter incredulity.

A Ghost Story (2017)

An absolute dozer

[3/10 · 24 September 2017]

My wife & I attempted to watch this last night. The film was such a plodder and filled with long, long camera shots, so long in fact that we were starting to doze (hence the term dozer, and I don't mean the bull type). The producers and directors of this film should've watched the original Ghost Story before embarking on this folly. We had to turn it off or fall asleep. One thing is for sure though, Casey Affleck must have been exhausted after memorizing all the lines of dialogue for his character in this movie.

It Comes at Night (2017)

Confusing disappointing and inexplicable

[4/10 · 5 September 2017]

This is not a Horror movie. The closest thing to scary is visuals from the son's nightmares. There is never an explanation for the plague-like sickness that everyone is so paranoid about and whatever the "It" was, is never explained and never comes at night or any other time of day that I could see. In view of its billing, the film was totally disappointing.

Hush (I) (2016)

A movie that goes from scary, to viewer-confused and then to ludicrous.

[5/10 · 16 April 2016]

I watched this movie recently and was quite impressed with the performance of Kate Siegel. Samantha Sloyan, fresh from Grey's Anatomy, gave as well a credible, if not short-lived performance. The plot quickly moved from a benign beginning to a scary and terrifying situation. No motive was ever established for the ongoing acts of terror perpetrated by the "Man" played by John Gallagher Jr. The film also never explained the ongoing actions of the "Man" relative to gaining access to Maddie's house nor addressed the burning question: are windows in a house not made for breaking when someone outside really wants to get in.