Change Your Image
erzabronsky
Reviews
Gilbert (2017)
Doesn't Explain Much
No disrespect meant Gilbert Gottfried or any of the other people who appeared in this documentary, but it wasn't much of a documentary. It's a cute slice-of-life look at Gilbert Gottfried behind the scenes; but it explains almost nothing about where this unique and often bizarre persona we love comes from.
How and why did he create his signature stage voice? Why did he repeatedly get himself into trouble with his many famous "Too Soon" incidents? How did he develop that extreme brand of frugality? None of these questions are answered. There are vague hints of a personality disorder and daddy issues, but for a creative person what else is new. I don't think they even mentioned his signature squinting on stage, though I could be wrong.
I'm glad I didn't pay for this documentary, because it was really disappointing in terms of information. I'd still watch it again if it was on TV or something. But if anyone can recommend any interviews that actually explain how Gilbert Gottfried developed his unique style and quirks, I'd much rather see that.
Mermaids (2003)
Don't be lured by these preppy sirens
It sucks to be a mermaid fan. Finding a live-action movie dealing with mermaids is difficult. Here's one that has *three* mermaids, and is online for free, in decent quality. So what if the plot is a pile of clichés and the acting isn't great? I can dig it.
But I can't dig these mermaids. Twice I tried to watch this movie and I couldn't. I try to avoid using the word "prep" at all costs, being that I'm almost 30 years old. But I can think of no other word to describe these "mermaids." Never mind that they seem too human-- plenty of tongue-in-cheek fantasy movies do that. I don't care if they're kind of vein or valley-girl-like; Aquamarine was that way and I liked her. But these mermaids transcend that. They aren't preppy in a forgivable, fictional way; these actresses literally say their lines like they have no idea what they're actually saying, and are on the verge of unleashing the typical rehearsed-preppy-girl- laugh at how "dumb" this script is. "Like, OMG mermaids? like that's so weird, Britney! Well, like, Lauren, like, I did kind of like Ariel as a kid. Oh my god let's comb our hair with forks! T'HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEE omygod...no, I'd never really do that, that'd be so weird. Hehe (slowly brushes streaked hair out of face). Let's go to the mall later on.
Great directing decision there. This is absolutely the type of person that the typical fantasy fan will relate to and want to watch for an hour and a half.
This movie is a cruel taunt to mermaid fans. Fittingly, the movie itself is like the sirens of old; luring you in with the thing you're desperate for, only to deliver your worst nightmare.
No matter how much you love mermaids, this just isn't worth it. All you'll find are obnoxious Barbies with fish tails. That's it.