patent_pandemonium Reviews

300 (2006)

This review is about the DVD release solely...

[3/10 · 7 August 2007]

I saw the movie; "300" in the theater, after being successfully taunted by the trailer. I am not going to bash the "historical inaccuracies, or even tell you how great I personally think this movie is. I am however going to complain about how terrible the DVD release is! This is a really basic, yet stylized and "eye" candy movie, which I believe has a cult following, and I was excited about the DVD release. I am glad I rented it and didn't blindly purchase it. It is lacking in ANY features to speak of, the picture quality, even up-converted, looks so-so, and the sound is, well kind of bland. looks to me like warner just slapped it on a DVD with no thought behind it, to get it out as fast as possible. Also, I am sure that they are planning on releasing a "special edition" version with more footage, or a miniature replica of a Spartan helmet, in which the extras are either way too plentiful, that you wont watch them,, or still real skimpy with new packaging. I am very disappointed in this DVD. Even if you are a fan of the movie as I am, don't really waste your money on this release, wait 'till Time Warner releases an offering that's worth spending our hard earned money on.

Had to get my two cents in, us "300" fans got short changed kids.

The Covenant (2006)

What was this movie about?

[1/10 · 9 January 2007]

From the beginning of this film,with it's "The Lost boys" rip off opening sequence, to the bad wire work and even worse dialog ending, this movie slimed along at a snail's pace. "The Covenant" came highly recommended from some of my co-workers, who I am thoroughly convinced were playing a practical joke on me. At least I hope that was the intention and their taste isn't that bad! This movie was not much longer than an hour and a half, yet felt much much longer then that. The story was so basic that it could have been summed up in about 15 minutes, maximum. They could have at least filled the rest of the movie with some entertaining magic or fight scenes, however someone decided,(maybe the director, but I don't know if anyone really "directed" this movie) that it was going to be filled with some poorly executed "artsy" camera shots, and nonsensical scenes of the "boys" swimming and getting into bar fights. About half way through this film I thought that maybe bashing my head against a wall would be more entertaining, and partially to rid myself of this horrible dirty feeling I had for continuing to watch it. . So I did bash my head against a wall, and I did enjoy it more then the movie! I watched it all the way to the bitter end, hoping it would eventually offer me more enjoyment. Nope,my efforts were rewarded with "How about I make you my Whee-aytch!" I vomited, and then just felt embarrassment for the screen writer and pity for the poor actor who had to deliver this drivel. The acting really wasn't as bad as other reviewers seemed to think, but even the most talented thespian could not saved this work, and work it did, on my nerves! I give movies a chance, even bad ones because they usually offer some form of enjoyment, and this actually wasn't the worst movie I have ever seen. After it was over I did feel like watching the movie "Stealth" again and WOW it was so much better this time around! Oh yeah Case in point, don't bother with this movie, really, don't. Watch a few episodes of "Charmed", and watch "The Lost boys" after having a fair amount of alcohol, and you will be a much better person. If you do fall into the same trap that I did and watch "The Covenant", make sure to keep all sharp objects far, far away from yourself, you'll thank me for it.

The Sight (2000 TV Movie)

Not too bad....Not too good...But not too bad...

[4/10 · 3 July 2006]

I enjoyed this movie. The cinematography did add to the eerie feeling, and helped create suspense, although a bit overly used at times. The waviness of the very first scene in the film started to get on my nerves very quickly. That wasn't a good sign for being the first few minutes of the movie. All in all however, the style in which this was filmed really did add to the enjoyment of the movie. The story was good, and the screenplay was decent, some dialog seemed clunky, that might have been the acting.

It obviously was a pilot for a never to be seen TV show, which might have turned out to be REALLY bad if it had made it on the air. It's too bad that it couldn't have been slightly tweaked to get rid of the foreshadowing for future episodes at the end, filmed it in widescreen with at least one good actor, and this could have been a pretty good movie at the box office.

Now for the criticism...the movie really didn't seem to flow, it was kind of tumbling around, then finally got to a point, which was a pretty good twist at the end that made the movie worth while. However there are some rough times getting to the end. My biggest complaint, (I seem to be disagreeing with a lot of reviewers on here with this one;) THE ACTING WAS AWFUL! There wasn't a good actor to be found in that whole film, I think that "Isobel" was pretty good, but I might be biased because I think she is gorgeous! (I don't care if she is a ghost, I'd peek too!) Now when Andrew McCarthy is the best actor of the bunch, i mean Andrew McCarthy! This guy helped make movies like Less then Zero..Uhm..Less then Zero! The guy can't act his way out of a wet paper sack, but some of the "Brittish" cops managed to do a worse job.

If you want to watch a great show with the same idea but is carried out MUCH better, watch "Medium" ,Patricia Arquette's somewhat wooden acting is balanced out by the rest of the cast! OK so there you have it, this movie excelled at mediocrity.