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robinthealchemist
Reviews
They Found Hell (2015)
cliché science fiction horror
i had hoped that they would make it more hellish... the kids who were supposed to be smart and science students, were actually your average football retards. i mean, who walk around hell yelling: hello, hello, is anyone there? or: help! please Help! as if thats gonna happen... also the "demons" were not quite demonic, i mean why wouldn't a hell-spawn play with his prey before brutally devouring it? it lacked torment and ruin as one would expect from hell, i was hoping the entire movie for the people to meet gruesome ends, and was rather disappointed... sure i didn't have too high expectations, but is a bit more carnage too much too ask from hell?
this movie was good enough to escape from Christmas (a hellish experience returning every year, the colors and happiness *ugh...) but comes nowhere near stuff like silent hill.
they should have put a bit more work into the script and text, and it could have been better. but all you get now are sniveling weaklings scared of everything, and you just want them to die quick (but horribly) and get it over with.
Sword of Vengeance (2015)
just scenes
this is not a movie. it is a collection of scenes a real movie would have, without any decent connection between them. sure it has flashy action, and even the very predictable "the hero gets to bang the blond chick", but there are no real characters. where in a movie scenes are tied together into a story, this "thing" has no story. just a collection of hack and slash, where somehow a handful of undisciplined Saxon farmers manage to beat a well trained army.
also they pretend to be pagans, while england was already converted to the false Christian god 4 centuries before the battle of Hastings. also they were no Saxons, they were Anglo-Saxons. which basically is a Christian who has stolen pagan culture, amongst others.
the only way this movie can be enjoyable, is if you are very drunk or stoned...