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Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006)
Time tested
15 years later, this movie still has one of the funniest, most rebellious and star-studded intros of all time. Combined with a couple of gut-busting songs and well delivered jokes, it raises it stature from a mediocre adam sandler-esque comedy to a cult piece of entertainment.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Salem's blot
This is basically Stephen King at his most mediocre - plus a lot, A LOT of religious talk.
Satellite City: Web-Series (2017)
Please can I rewind my brain?
I looked into these guys because I thought that might make Nostalgia Critic's review of the Wall seem less nonsensical. However, it only made me question his sanity more. Why would anyone willingly introduce this cringy, ranting excuse for a cartoon into their product? How can I unknow that this exists?
The Mule (2018)
Please put us both out of our misery
I have no words for this. The lame story, the horrible dialogues, the senility-induced pretentiousness... Poor ole Eastwood should've retired from acting after Gran Torino, this is so embarrassing it would've probably been better for him if he just walked into the street in just a soiled diaper.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Squinting for four hours isn't very healthy
Meh... Some things work better than in the first version, some not so much... It's watchable, but certainly not worthy of all this hoopla, and four hours of my time.
The Suckling (1990)
No.
No.
My review will probably be rejected for being to short, so I will try to elaborate.
Hell no.
The Hunt (2020)
It was fun, but it made me curious
I have only one question for Betty Gilpin:
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?
Hubie Halloween (2020)
Standard Sandler trash
I made it whole two minutes into the movie, because that how long it took them to resort to puke jokes. If you ever saw a Sandler movie, you know what to expect - but there's no reason we should somehow suddenly start to pretend it's anything but garbage.
The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)
The dragging of how and why
When I get a plot heavy show like this, I expect the plot to be good. Here you have a whole episode dedicated to the weirdest-acting character in the show that doesn't explain why she's acting weird AT ALL. You also get a backstory to the ghost that's the lamest, laziest back story ever, and the last episode has the coherence of the last third of Return of the King, except with more reliance on audience's emotions.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
This is what Picard facepalm was made for
CuRious. It's as if you sat down a dog, made it watch every episode of TNG, and then gave it a typewriter and asked it to type out something similar - only, of course, slightly more emotional and touching. And then wiped your bottom with the result, just for good measure.
Sicario (2015)
Lah dee dah
What an insanely overrated movie. Too bad, Villeneuve is usually a greta director, but this is just meh.
Dorohedoro (2020)
Keep churning out the gunk
It's exactly like last 10 trash anime titles that I tried watching for an episode or two, and probably just like another 20 that came out this year. Do people over 12 really watch this? And why? I NEED TO KNOW WHY!
Motherless Brooklyn (2019)
A good flick, private dick!
A tad too slow, but interesting, suspenseful, and really good looking. It could be considered the exact opposite of the loud mess that is Uncut Gems, and naturally, it got way less attention. I would give it a seven and a half stars, but since I can't, I will err on the side of praise.
Verotika (2019)
Glenn wrote a song about this a long time ago
It went: 'Mother... Tell your children not to watch my film'.
Mamula (2014)
Sad bore instead of fun gore
There is one fun moment in the beginning of the film when the camera shows us the lovely Montenegro coast and there's some fun music playing. After that, you might as well turn the movie off, satisfied that you enjoyed all the positive experience it had to offer.
Zone blanche (2017)
Horrific to watch, but for all the wrong reasons
This TV show is so clumsy and overdramatic Netflix should've rejected it. It's so confused and all over the place it can't decide whether it's happening in modern times or in 1970s, and we're supposed to believe it's because the town where it happens is 'isolated' from the rest of the world. I mean, half the town is desperate and angry because 'the lumber mill is shutting down', because that's apparently where what drives the local economy today. For an episode and a half I thought it takes place in Canada, because I couldn't believe they would be so bold to try to pass that backwater as actually being in France or Belgium or whatever. Hell, they even have the gall to tell us the cellphones aren't working in the whole county, because if they were, the entire plot would crumble like a house of cards. Cops in the show are just incompetent buffoons who search the woods alone in the middle of the night and can't catch anyone, and local villains are as three-dimensional as Scrooge McDuck. The horror element is so shallow, there's a rape and an infanticide thrown in the first two episodes in a futile attempt to keep our attention. Basically the only horror you feel is caused by the fact you're watching it.
A hard pass.
Uncut Gems (2019)
The best to be expected
After years and years of making horrible movies, Adam Sandler has one important advantage over other actors: his 'good Adam Sandler movie' doesn't even have to be actually good for us to call it that. There's a tiny bit of solid acting, a bit of atmosphere and drama, and a little more than a bit of good camera work and effects, but that's it. There's nothing more there.
The Irishman (2019)
Ok, now we know everything we wanted to know about the mob. Really.
At two and a half hours, this would've been a treat. At three and a half, it's a torture. Cinematography and acting is good in small intimate scenes, but when it has a chance to shine (like in courtroom attack or when they're raising the flag on the roof) it looks like a cheap netflix tv show. I don't know what I expected, but it was more than this.
The Fanatic (2019)
Never go full Travolta
This movie does to Travolta what Battlefield Earth did to movies.
The Kissing Booth (2018)
Horrific cringefest
This movie spreads horribleness and cringe that washes over you like a wave. You have to be really incredibly deluded to think this is a comedy or a romance movie.